to wonder why some people have no idea about family finances

[redskyatnight]

Just musing really. Am I alone in finding it very odd where one adult in a couple/family seems to have no idea about their family finances?

This mainly came into my head because a friend and her DH have recently gone bankrupt and she had no idea money was even tight because he looked after all their family finances and she was happy for him to do so as she has no head for figures!

There are other example in RL and on these boards though. So many people seem to have no idea what their partner's earn (even ballpark figure) or how much disposable income they have as a family. (so have no idea what it's reasonable to spend so don't know if there partners are just being mean!).

Of course some partners are controlling but in the majority of cases I've seen personally, they are happy to share the information but the other partner is not interested.

I manage our family finances because I am anal and like spreadsheets DH is happy for me to do this. But we discuss them freely and both have a clear idea about what we can afford, what we can't, how much we are saving etc.

I used to handle the finances for me and exP. I was a SAHM and he worked but he hated working it all out and would miss bills so he asked me to work it all out and he'd trust me. It seemed to be working until the day he went crazy at me claiming that we couldn't really have this little money for treats and I must be spending it all myself. The lunatic couldn't grasp that we were quite low income. He also flipped it all round on me saying how dare I control the money etc when he'd asked me to do it. Funnily enough on his most recent verbal diarrhoea, he revealed he is being evicted because he didnt pay his rent properly and is being chased for bills he didnt pay.

If I'm ever in a serious relationship again, it will be a joint effort and we will both be responsible for discussing it.

I generally handle the finances as I'm slightly less bad at it but we both keep an eye on what we have.

Having seen the absolute mess both my grandmothers were in when they were widowed, trying to get a grip of accounts they had never managed and bills they had never paid while also dealing with a bereavement, I am determined that we should both have at least a passing acquaintance with essentials: finances, cooking, cleaning etc.