please, I truly need to now if it's me being unreasonable here.

[mosp]

I have never posted on aibu before, and I am actually sweating a little here. However, I feel that I need to know whether this lady is right or wrong:

My dd1 goes to ballet on Tuesday evenings. We walk there (45 minutes each way) and when we arrive at the Methodist church where it is held, I feel the need to rest my aching feet (Tuesdays are busy physically for me).

The place where mums wait is the lobby of the church, and there are only about 5 chairs available. When I arrive, there is always one chair free. Well, at least, until today I thought it was free. It turns out that one of the mums wants to reserve it for her 4 or 5 year old son. She places a coat over the back of the chair every week. I hadn't really clocked this before (I'm not very quick at picking up cues) so I have just politely asked if she minded if I place the coat on the side so that I can sit. I honestly didn't realise that this might be a problem. (Now I think about it, she never looked very happy about moving the coat)

The boy is NEVER sitting in the chair when I arrive and he never shows any signs of wishing to sit down the whole time they are there. He's happily scampering around with his sister.

So, I was kind of taken aback today when she told me that the chair was actually where her son was sitting and would I please find somewhere else to sit next time. I didn't know what to say to that! I didn't realise at all. On reflection, I can't see why she needs to lay claim to the chair. Her son clearly doesn't want it and I don't want to have to sit on the floor or stand when there is a vacant chair.

Today, as if to prove her point, she beckoned her son to her and tried to sit him on her knee, telling him loudly that he hasn't got a chair any more. He didn't want to sit on her knee, and wriggled off to play again.

So, am I right in thinking she's being a bit bizarre? Or is it me? And next week, should I just sit on the floor? Bear in mind, I hate hate hate confrontation. I also hate having any attention drawn to myself, which would happen if I do sit on the floor, I feel.

Oh, I don't know. I know it is petty, but it has shaken me up a bit and made me doubt something that I had no idea was an issue...

I'd sit down, and if she were cheeky enough to say anything to me, I'd look her straight in the face and say 'oh well'.

Oh and don't worry about her coat, either sit on it or put it on the foor. Or be very polite and tell her "you dropped this"

YANBU, the child can sit on her knee.

Of course you can be bolshy. Who cares if you offend her. In her eyes you already have anyway. Just be smiley and polite and say "oh, he doesn't appear to be using it at the moment so I'll just have a little sit down" Flash her an even bigger smile then lounge there for the entirety of your wait with a stash of choccy biscuits and a good book to make ignoring her easier. She won't say anything, she'll only make an arse out of herself if she does.

Or you could just be sensible and ask for extra chairs to be put out

YANBU

Her behaviour is a little unusual

Be super assertive with a big cheesy grin, as HeadFirst says

If she asks why her son should sit on the floor ask why you should when the chair is clearly free.
And also because he is a child and you are an adult and that's how it works.
She does also have the option of him sitting on her lap.

Can you not get them to set out more chairs though? Ask the teacher.

YANBU at all.

She is being ridiculous!

I'd be tempted to be really evil/friendly and start a conversation with her, as if there has been no unpleasantness. You might find you can charm her. It takes a bit of chutzpah, and you don't want to come over as pleading or people-pleasing

You could say "oh if he needs to sit down he can sit on my knee, I love a cuddle and dd is getting too big to sit on my knee these days"

She will probably never talk to you again, win for you!

I would approach the ballet people and say its a problem only having so few chairs and can they get more out. explain your problem, and they may laugh and even say something.

Tell her that you and her ds want the chair so one of you will have to sit on her knee. Her choice which it is!

"Why should my child have to sit on the floor?"

Reply: "Yes I agree, I'd hate to see Precious Perfect Peter your child on the floor too so when he's ready to sit down you'll need to give up your bloody chair won't you".

And then sit down on the vacant chair.

What an ignorant cow she is .....

Just sit yourself down and say that if she wants her son to sit, she can give up her own chair for her son. Selfish entitled cow.

Can you get the bus there or back as it will end up being a lond day for you both.

Suggest you sit on her lap instead. Ignorant cow.

You could try
a) lying on the floor and making "snow angel" moves.
b) taking a deckchair and making yourself comfy.
c) make a special effort to get there especially early and reserve all the chairs, put your feet up if necessary.
d) just sitting on the chair like you have been doing and ignoring the silly woman - it's not like you are going to be losing a friend.

An adult has more claim to a chai then a child. It's just manners.

Don't ask next time. Just say ' if your son wants to sit ill happily move

YANBU.
Andworra that is an admirably assertive and appropriate response IMHO.

Time to fake a broken leg I reckon.

Find her limits

Yanbu

And if she keeps pulling the chair closer to her to make you uncomfortable then sit there and quite deliberately and obviously fart in her direction (with a lean) - although I realise this could never happen it would be fucking hilarious.

YANBU, she sounds like a nutcase. Stand you ground, just sit in the chair and if she says anything, look her in the eye, smile sweetly but say nothing. If she continues, then say, well your DS is clearly not using the chair and I need to sit down after my walk.

Sit.

If there are more chairs anywhere point her in their direction if she bellyaches. And bask in the knowledge you're pissing this muppet off.

Reply: "Yes I agree, I'd hate to see Precious Perfect Peter your child on the floor too so when he's ready to sit down you'll need to give up your bloody chair won't you".

^^THIS!

When I am in a confrontational situation I channel my husband (6ft 4) and imagine he is standing next to me and think of what he would say to whoever is being obnoxious.

Could you channel the fury and outrage of MN and imagine you have us standing next to you!!!!!?

OP I will tell you my chair story.

DS went to swimming lessons and one family kept reserving several seats. I hadn't realised and went to sit on one and the father actually pushed me away as he said he was saving it for his wife.

I think it was the shock of being pushed that did it, because I sat down anyway just as he draped his arm protectively over the chair.

Which left us sitting side by side, carefully not looking at each, with his arm around my shoulders.

Then we waited it out for several minutes without saying a word, just quietly listening to the sniggering from the other parents, until his wife came in and stared at us and he carefully removed his arm from around me.

That was a long half an hour. But as we left I had more than one other parent tell me how pleased they were that I'd done it.

Stick with it OP. Why should you stand or sit on the floor so she can have an empty chair for her coat?

YANBU. For your use of he word 'scampering' alone. Plus the chair stuff.