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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep dd off school?

38 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 25/06/2013 17:04

She is 12yo, going on a school trip.

Trip is paid for (£50), get letter last week with details of what they need, etc. They won't be back at school until 1am.

If I'd known this before I'd have never said she could go.

Kids have been told they MUST be at school the following day. DD told her teacher that I'd said I didn't think she'd be fit for school the next day and her teacher has yelled at her. Saying everyone else will make it so she better had.

I've bloody booked the day off work as there's no way I can be at work at 7am if I'm not going to be in bed until 2am. So I'm pissed off over that as well.

OP posts:
mummymeister · 25/06/2013 17:12

really unusual for a school to have a trip that doesn't get back until this late on a school night and then expect them all in bright eyed and bushy tailed the next morning. it obviously wasn't clear that this was the case on the first letter home. would have a word with class teacher if I were you. can your dd go home with a friend (one who lives near to the school) this would help with you being tired as well.

thebody · 25/06/2013 17:13

Where are they going to be back for 1am?

Anyway it's your child and your call but its probably going to be later than 1am as personally I have never known a school trip to he back on time.

I should let her go and then decide in the morning if she can make it in or not. Teachers can't actually dictate this you know!!

She will probably be fine to be honest and if they are all tired then they won't be doing much anyway the next day.

threesypeesy · 25/06/2013 17:14

Send her on the trip and keep her off the next day if you wish, that's very late she will be exhausted, she's your daughter and you know what's best for her, who is a teacher to dictate to you anyway? Your child, your choice imo

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 25/06/2013 17:15

Going to London to see a show. I'd assumed it was a matinee performance but its the evening performance.

She has to get up at 6,30am to catch the bus at 7,30am.

So 4 hours sleep? I guess she might sleep on the coach a bit?

OP posts:
TheFallenNinja · 25/06/2013 17:15

Keep her off. Kids get tired after a night clubbingSmile

livinginwonderland · 25/06/2013 17:17

Wait and see how she feels. We've had school trips like this and most people came to school but were absolutely knackered the next day - believe me - not much teaching went on, so they might end up going over the trip/doing work around it instead of proper lessons.

No point deciding before she's been.

landofsoapandglory · 25/06/2013 17:22

DS1 went to London to see Warhorse with the school, arrived back at a similar time and would have had to have been up at 6.30 to get the bus at 7.30. I had presumed it would be a matinee performance too. As DS1 suffers with migraines, and lack of sleep can bring them on, I let him stay in bed until 9.30 and took him into school at 11am which was after morning break. The teacher who organised the trip went mad and told DS1 that of there was another trip arriving back at that time he might not be able to go!(there wasn't, they took them to matinees).

Could you take her in a bit later?

AllegraLilac · 25/06/2013 17:24

As a kid/teenager I always had the day off after a residential school trip, or else the overtired-ness gives me migraines. Being sleepy still makes me poorly even now.

Keep her at home. Authorise her absence. Teachers can't do shit.

thebody · 25/06/2013 17:27

Jesus!! Landofsoap...

No teacher has ever spoken to me like that about my children. If they are tired or unwell then they are at home. My child's health is my responsibility.

All the teachers I meet are normal to he honest.

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 25/06/2013 17:29

School starts at 820, it'll take me 30 mins to get there so I suppose I could save 20 mins by taking her in myself.

OP posts:
diddl · 25/06/2013 18:13

Very ill thought out.

And the teacher sounds rude.

Yelled-really?

GetStuffezd · 25/06/2013 18:17

Ridiculous! Personally I feel like death warmed up if I go to bed on a school night after half eleven, so I'd never expect my pupils to be in after such a late night. How inflexible of them!

LIZS · 25/06/2013 18:21

Were you there when dd had the conversation with her teacher , maybe it got a bit lost in translation . However I think you may be being a bit precious tbh . dd has had late nights and still been ok next day , it catches up a bit later. Let her sleep to 7.30 then take her in or failing that for first break.

ReluctantBeing · 25/06/2013 18:22

At my school pupils start late if they are home that late for a trip or activity. It is usual for 10.30am start for those kids.

OwlinaTree · 25/06/2013 18:23

Teacher is probably peed because she's got to go in.

ReadytoOrderSir · 25/06/2013 18:25

They'll sleep on the bus. They'll have a blast. The whole class will be the same.

I'd send mine in for the trip and the following day without hesitation.

sparkle12mar08 · 25/06/2013 18:30

There's not a cat in hell's chance I'd send mine in after a night like that, and I'd be making a formal complaint to the head and the governors about the teacher involved threatening my child about further trips etc. My child, my responsibility, and therefore my right to decide what's best for them.

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 25/06/2013 18:32

OK, thanks. I'll see what she's like in the morning. However she's normally shit in the mornings and wailing how tired she is so I'm not being too hopeful. That's after going to bed at 8,30pm.

OP posts:
landrover · 25/06/2013 18:38

Hi there, we have a trip where they got back at 9pm. The kids were allowed to register till 11 the next day, perfectly sensible imo !

marriedinwhiteagain · 25/06/2013 18:38

I'd be OK with it to be honest but mine don't need that much sleep and never have. Feel a bit sorry for the teachers the next day - dozens of overtired hormonal young people and still having to try to keep control. I might not have mentioned not going in in advance and would just have phoned in and said dd had a bad tum when she got home and isn't going in.

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 25/06/2013 18:50

MarriedInWhite - that was my plan - daft dd decided to prewarn her teacher which has rather blown that now.

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 25/06/2013 18:56

Actually, it would probably help the teacher if you did write to the governors.
The teacher was probably NOT allowed to take the children to the matinee as they would have missed their 'normal' lessons (maths etc). So, the teacher, wanting to give them this opportunity has given up her own time to take them in the evening. S/he was probably told that this would be OK provided the children don't miss any curriculum time the next day.
However, if you sanction your child being off the next day (or part day) due to 'illness', then the school can't do anything. And it would help the teacher arrange matinees next time.

marriedinwhiteagain · 25/06/2013 19:03

Ring in - say she's got a bit of an upset tum but she's coming anyway and instruct her to fanny fart extremely loudly in every lesson Grin.

Startail · 25/06/2013 19:14

DD1 has done trips like that and gone in the next day, they manage.

Give her a year or two and she'll stay up to midnight and beyond quite routinely.

She'll moan, but she'll survive.

Startail · 25/06/2013 19:16

Honestly, I can't believe this thread.

She's 12 not 6.