Jeremy Forrest's sister's comments.

[Jayne3474]

Sorry mail link (!):

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2347879/My-brother-paedophile-loves-girl-abducted-Jeremy-Forrests-sister-says-family-support-couple-asked-looked-jailed.html

aibu to think she has a point about the paedophile bit?

Don't get me wrong, I think what Forrest did was immoral, and took advantage of a vulnerable young woman.

But surely a paedophile is one interested in pre-pubescent children.

AIBU to be annoyed at this term for truly sick perverts being thrown around so casually?

I remember what I was like at 15... I was definitely predatory and revelled in my sexual power over men. I look back now at how I behaved as rather cringeworthy and immature, but fairly normal.
Well aren't you lucky that you had sensible people around who didn't take advantage. Now, shall we grow up a bit and stop blaming the victim?

Still not sure on Stuart Hall. If he'd been found guilty of a murder committed in the fifites, would they have hung him?
And the point of this puerile statement is?

As I said above, Dawndonna the reason given for Hall's short sentence was that was the law when he committed the crime. My point is that the law doesn't always work like that, so why did it in his case?

oh great. .another thread full of distasteful victim blaming and defence of abuse to hide

And saying poor innocent men are defenseless against predatory 15 year old girls is fairly insulting to men. If a 15 yr old came on to my DH he would tell her no.

As would mine, Fanjo.

There are some sickening views on this thread.

For example? noddy

Thanks iclaudius
The amount of victim blaming on this thread is scaring me. My daughter is going to be 4 soon, the thought that in ten or so years she will be seen as a perfectly acceptable sexual partner for a much older man frightens and sickens me on equal measures.

I was mid twenties before I wanted to admit to having been manipulated. I think I was about 22 when I realised.

I really can't see any victim blaming?

(my DD is 4 next month, twitchy)

If any of us offered sex to a 13-16 year old boy, they would be happy to oblige.

Women don't tend to do this, even though we have as high a sex drive as men, why don't we?, because it isn't right to take advantage of anyone vulnerable/immature, in any way.

This should be written into law (as it is) in a civalised society.

If you cannot control who you have sex with, go and get help.

All the excuses made for men, makes me wonder if we should be keeping them in institutions and not be allowing them to roam freely, if making the right choices is beyond their control (DV, Rape, grooming etc).

" I look back now at how I behaved as rather cringeworthy and immature, but fairly normal."

Yes it is normal to go through that stage, what isn't right is that any adult around you would abuse their power (that they have as an adult, let alone a teacher/doctor etc).

You cannot describe any girl under 16, as predatory, teens that target younger children are damaged. You have a range of normal sexual flirting, that teens go through and then you get, damaged teens, who become promiscious, that need protection.

How old would she have to be for you to take her stance of not being a victim as valid?

This puts me in mind of Mandy Smith. The adult Mandy Smith. Who had a family who enabled a certain person.

Groundhog Day...

This is a good article about Mandy Smith (and her marriage at 18 to the older man she had allegedly been having sex with for some years) by Victoria Coren.

No they wouldn't birds. There was a disturbing article a couple of weeks ago about a female teacher who pursued a male pupil aged about 14/15z. She sent him presents Eric etc. which is obviously grooming but was described by the paper as woo-ing. It took years to sack her as the head initially only gave her a warning after complaints from the boy's parents. He has relentlessly teased and bullied at school and tried to avoid this teacher. Eventually she was sacked and not allowed to teach again.

I was furious it took so long. She was predatory and ruined school for this poor boy.

Can't link as on phone but someone else may find the story?

If any of us offered sex to a 13-16 year old boy, they would be happy to oblige

Bollocks. Not if my nephews and their friends are anything to go by. But the notion that all teenage boys are gagging for it and that early sex with an adult is a desirable and perfectly valid experience for them fuels abuse of boys by adult women (see the teacher case reported yesterday).

Birdsgottafly "If any of us offered sex to a 13-16 year old boy, they would be happy to oblige.

Women don't tend to do this, even though we have as high a sex drive as men, why don't we?, because it isn't right to take advantage of anyone vulnerable/immature, in any way."

I can find plenty of news stories of female teachers having affairs with male pupils, and there are thousands of male teachers who don't. Men "tend not to" offer sex to 13-16 year old girls either. But some do.

I was a 13-16 year old boy once. I'd have run a mile. I don't find your assumption that a boy would take up your offer to be valid. I was taught one subject by the teacher thought of as "the fit one" When I was jokingly cheeky to her as a sixth former on one occasion (flirting, I suppose, as best I could then) she threatened to spank me. I think I was more mortified than she was when she realised that most of the common room heard her.

It's not victim-blaming to concede that some 15 year olds can behave in a provocative way. There's a v wide spectrum at that age. On the other hand, it weakens the argument to deny it because it is patently obvious. Most male teachers will have a story to tell.

No one is blaming her here. Or using her behaviour to excuse Forrest.

Fanjo's DH would do the right thing. So would almost all teachers. Even if they found the girl attractive. And calling them paedophiles because they found a 15 yr old attractive doesn't help. They are reacting to the looks and behaviour of a woman, not a child.

The problem exists. It's recognised and addressed during teacher training. If it didn't exist, there wouldn't have to be a law about it, a law that is deliberately more stringent when applied to behaviour in schools.

But at 15 they don't have the understanding of why their actions might not be appropriate, so it's the responsibility of the adult in the situation to tell them and to not, you know, have sex with them.

I wore and said some very provocative things at 16, but I didn't really understand the potential consequences. As a grown woman now I think I was very lucky not to be totally taken advantage of. Thankfully I have good parents and I had sensible teachers, who looked after my wellbeing. This girl didn't have either. Her own dad thinks this is OK, which just goes to show how fucked up society is.

Well arthur yours for starters

Where do you think I have blamed the victim, noddy?

I didn't say anything about you blaming the victim I said some of the comments were sickening

Which ones?

You can call him what you like paedophile, sex offender, Rumplestiltskin. The bottom line is that he was her teacher, legally and I'm betting in the eyes of her mother she is a child. You have to throw the book at him, because there's simply no way he couldn't have foreseen the consequences of his actions.

If his family want to support him that's great for him however where is their compassion for the child's family? And if it had been their daughter, now only to happy to be doing interviews how would they have reacted?

We have to be able to send our children to school in the certain knowledge they will be safe. Otherwise our society is in real trouble.