Jeremy Forrest's sister's comments.

[Jayne3474]

Sorry mail link (!):

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2347879/My-brother-paedophile-loves-girl-abducted-Jeremy-Forrests-sister-says-family-support-couple-asked-looked-jailed.html

aibu to think she has a point about the paedophile bit?

Don't get me wrong, I think what Forrest did was immoral, and took advantage of a vulnerable young woman.

But surely a paedophile is one interested in pre-pubescent children.

AIBU to be annoyed at this term for truly sick perverts being thrown around so casually?

"Of course they are off limits. Try telling them that"

Yes, you do tell them that. And then your actions back that up. That is how normal adults respond to silly teenage 'advances'. There is no other option.

"Whether or not she can recognise abuse is not relevant to whether abuse took place."

I'd also like to point out (in case anyone thinks otherwise and because I'm genuinely concerned they might) that I don't think the abuse of a 5 year old is anything other than utterly horrific and disturbing and I would never minimise such a crime.

What I was trying to convey is that the emotional trauma caused by abuse is also very damaging in the long term.

Given the circumstances, it's likely that this experience will impact negatively on the girl involved in years to come. I would be very surprised if it didn't.

I also meant to say that I agree with merrymouse

What does 'physically capable of it' actually mean ffs?
Jesus.

And don't even get me started on the 'what do we tell our daughters to stop perverted teachers, who like having sex with children despite all their training and all the warnings given from other professionals, from grooming them shit. I can't bear this victim blaming Bollox that is spouted by people who for some reason want to make apology for people like Jeremy Forrest. Ffs.

may I just repeat this please?

"Someone asked up thread what people's teenage daughters have said.

My DDs are 16 and 14, and they are adamant that JF's behaviour was disgusting. They called him a 'paedo', probably because they arent completely au fait with different definitions, and I havent picked them up on it.

As for so many teenage girls being sexually predative, dressing older than their years, going places they are too young for - that's what your teenage years are for in some ways, we all like to stretch boundaries if we can when we are young and silly. However, the onus is on the ADULTS to establish the facts and therefore not take advantage of them, or even worse - like JF - to actively seek them out."

Comments I have found as worryingly distasteful on this thread as Forest's sister's: a grown man repeatedly describing how he 'snogged' a child and sharing his obsessive knowledge of the age of consent around the world; and someone saying of the victim 'either way, she wins'.

I dont think there is statistics, but the follow up of many children abused by adults who enter into a later relationship with them seems to eventually end up in the woman having wasted her youth and ending up single, with or without kids to look after. Certainly thats what happened to the Dundee victim of her schoolteacher.

At least if they survive school without being groomed or abused, they still have the chance of making their own lives and meeting a decent man.

And no Arthur, the WHO definition is not in point either. It is formal sources of law and their interpretation by the courts that hold sway in these matters in this country. Courts dont convict on the basis of some random internet sources from all over the world. Thankfully.

I think it is true to say that people who demonstrate an unhealthy, non professional interest in the AOC around the world, and argue for blurring it in general, are really fucking worrying individuals

How can you be sexually mature at 15, ffs!!

EhricLovesTeamQhuay I started a relationship with my now dh at 15, he was 21. There was nothing sexual about it until I was 16 (and then only at my instigation). I also instigated the relationship. He did not choose to date me because I was less mature, less worldly and had less power

And also, thank you very much, our relationship isn't abusive & I have no need or want to leave him at all. Please don't tar all relationships with the same brush!

While I agree that, in some cases Longevity does not = healthy relationship, nor does it automatically = unhealthy/unequal/abusive!

Speaking as someone who has discovered things of a seriously awful nature about two close relatives, I can't simply forget the times I spent with them when they just seemed like fun, loving people who shared my sense of humour. I still can't get my head around what I was told, two and a half years after being told it.

There's a word - 'enormity' - which often gets misused. People think it refers just to size, when in fact it's more synonymous with 'atrocity', and it means specifically the great magnitude of something deeply morally wrong. And the idea of someone you love doing something like this is just enormous to take in: confronting the reality of it is impossibly painful. Being unable to confront that reality isn't cowardly, and if you think it is, then just wait until it happens to you.

So I don't condemn or judge his family for defending him, or for being so far down the path of denial that they're trying to rationalise his behaviour. One day, maybe, it'll finally hit them that he did something very, very wrong, and they'll wonder what the hell they were thinking. But it's not up to us to decide when that day should be.

My ds is 14, and so I have a fair bit of contact with 14/15 year olds. They might have gone through puberty, with the girls having all the right curves, but they are in no way sexually mature adults. They are children, and totally and completely off limit to any adults, who might like to get heir hands on them. My 12 year old looks like an adult woman for that matter but any adult old enough to be her father who wants to have sex with her is totally sick and deviant, not normal and OK as many seem to think.

Who knows is JF is only interested in that age group, and therefore can be defined as suffering from a particular disorder. I really don't care very much if he also finds women his age, ancient grannies or even dogs attractive. It is not really that relevant unless you are in the treatment of disorders business. He is a repellant twisted fellow who intentionally screwed up the lives of a number of other people purely to get his jollies. And has now got his just rewards. Good.

Sexually active is different from sexually mature IMO

I wish the sister would shut up and go away too.

I hope the one who can't be named has adequate support and someone of trust to talk to about all this.

And I feel dreadful for the humiliated wife Emily and the girl victim.

Before they ever had any personal interactions, there was a power differential that is well recognised by both society and the law and within this context she was always disadvantaged and vulnerable (despite any other factors that may have led people to highlight her 'vulnerability' - family circumstances etc etc). It is the aim of predators to exploit this power differential and the grooming process relies on the imbalance of trust and 'authority' that exists between abuser and victim, despite the victim often developing a belief that they are a willing and active participant.

As a teacher he would have been fully versed in the inappropriateness and illegality of acting on any impulses or feelings that he may have had towards a pupil - there is no rational argument for any circumstances that mitigate his actions.

As for his family's attempts to normalise his behaviour, if they accept the obvious (and legally sanctioned) conclusion that he is a predatory child abuser whose actions are wholly unacceptable,they will have to confront the uncomfortable realisation that their own judgement is not what they believed it to be and the can of worms that ensues with regard to their relationship with him, their understanding of themselves etc etc. Far easier to demonise others than acknowledge that someone they love, trust and believe that they know is capable of such abhorrent and reprehensible behaviour.