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Work Team Building Thing

45 replies

larabanana · 24/06/2013 21:28

Did a work team building thing today. Partly to get the team working better and partly as we were supposed to get to know ourselves better.

Made a total fool of myself.

Single and childless at 27. Never been married or anywhere near.

One of the exercises was "if you won the lottery (enough to retire / very large sum) what would you do?" And we had to say the first thing that came to mind. Not to think about it too much.

Plenty of normal answers like quit work - buy a big house - buy an tropical island.

Mine was .... have a baby. And then I cried. A lot.

I sponsor a baby boy in Uganda and I am so broody. I wander about picking out little t shirts to post to him. And looking at girl clothes too.

I can't afford a baby. I don't have any family that would help out and I don't have my own home. Practically I know that I wouldn't be good enough to be a mother either through birth or adoption.

And yet my heart is breaking. I don't even know how I will face going into work tomorrow after the exhibition I made of myself today.

OP posts:
currywurst3 · 24/06/2013 21:30

Oh don't worry people will already start forgetting about it now and by next week it will be a distant memory. Just remember not to take team building days too seriously next time.

Relaxedandhappyperson · 24/06/2013 21:32

I bet no one will mention it - except in an "are you alright?" kind of way. They must have been a bit shocked too!

You're most unlikely to be so awful you couldn't be a good enough mother. Can you make a plan around the practical stuff you'd need (home, preferably partner), but enjoy the getting there too?

Numberlock · 24/06/2013 21:38

Was your boss there? How did she/he handle it?

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 24/06/2013 21:40

27 is young enough for you to get yourself practically and emotionally ready.

Having stuff like a house and solid income helps but won't make you a good mum.

hearthwitch · 24/06/2013 21:40

I know exactly how u feel. I'm 36 single and no social skills but desperate for a baby. I've given the same answer myself. I wouldn't worry about work. Its amazing how oblivious people can be. but it is a sign that you need to take a look at were you are and what you want out of life. if you think of a solution let me know..........

whatacrappyweekendthatwas · 24/06/2013 21:41

You are only 27, plenty of time for marriage and babies! You sound like a lovely kind person and I'm sure you will make a lovely mum when the time is right for you. Try not to over-think it, things have a way of working themselves out and babies fit into your life even when the circumstances aren't perfect.

I bet many people were touched by your desire to have a baby, and if anyone thinks anything uncharitable about your tears they aren't worth bothering about.

emsyj · 24/06/2013 21:42

Oh dear. But you know, it is very normal to feel like that. I'm sure lots of the people around you will have felt the same way. Tis biology, innit? You are only 27 - you have lots of time to pursue this.

If it makes you feel any better, I once got roaring drunk at the office Christmas party and snogged the office junior in front of everyone. I lived through it! Smile

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 24/06/2013 21:43

And don't worry about work. It's fine. I think most people do something embarrassing at some point. And live it down.

ParadiseChick · 24/06/2013 21:43
weirdthing · 24/06/2013 21:44

Ach, bless you. I was single till I was 31 and then met DH. Got married at 33 and then had DS1 at 34 and DS2 at 38. You have plenty of time my dear. In the meantime, why not consider a little bit of fostering?

ManifestoMT · 24/06/2013 21:55

Oh huge hug and patting of back.

I was like this. I thought it would never happen and all my friends were either getting married or sprogging left right and centre.
I always said if I didn't meet anyone by 30 I would go to a sperm donor. ( or tramp spunk as my dh so helpfully says)

Keep your chin up, keep going out and enjoying yourself stop looking and relax and some decent bloke will pop up. You have to kiss a lot of frogs unfortunately.
You are lovely and there is someone out there, you just have to find each other.

parakeet · 24/06/2013 22:00

Why not make a list of all the things you feel you need to do in order to have a baby. If having a partner is one, then have you considered internet dating?

Easy for us to say, I know, but try not to worry about work. They will all have forgotten about it within a week.

ChocolateCremeEggBag · 24/06/2013 22:04

I would just walk in tomorrow with your head held high, smile and then say "I have no idea what came over me yesterday, must be a bit hormonal" if anyone mentions it. Laugh it off and it will be old news vv soon. Don't try to explain it to anyone at work (unless they are good friends outside of work) or it will become a "thing"

And it's totally normal to think this kind of thing at times, you have plenty of time for babies but don't over think the getting pregnant bit. Get out, meet people and have some fun.

whatacrappyweekendthatwas · 24/06/2013 22:14

I once went for a pee at work not realising that the ties at the back of my fancy knickers had come undone and were hanging in the toilet. I walked back through the office dripping piss on the carpet from my pants ties and on my seat. Everyone saw.

Curioustiger · 24/06/2013 22:34

My old and fearsome boss cried in a meeting once because her cat had died. None of the men round the table knew where to look. OP, it may seem more embarrassing to you because it was so heartfelt, but actually the more serious the need, the less people will be surprised by an emotional response. Many many people desperately want children. I hope you get your wish as you sound like a lovely person. Chin up tomorrow, ok?

monicalewinski · 24/06/2013 23:49

I'm pretty sure everyone at work will be ok tbh. Exactly what chocolate said a few posts up.

whatacrappyweekendthatwas Grin

lessonsintightropes · 25/06/2013 01:06

What tigerlillygrr says, with knobs on Grin I had pretty much given up on relationships and baby at 29. Met (now) DH at 30, married at 35 and now TTC. Don't give up but in a way stop looking - I had refocused on my career and being v involved with DNephew and DNeice and had stopped Internet dating (which was for me just rubbish) and had become quite philosophical about it all (but suspect might have scared off DH if I'd been too demandy/ strident about babies from day one. It'll happen, and if it doesn't then fostering / sperm donation are all possibilities. My best DFs are 40 and 41 and both starting the adoption process as single Mums. I know they will be awesome parents, you will be too however it happens.

McGeeDiNozzo · 25/06/2013 04:54

I'm just glad to hear that someone genuinely opened up at one of these 'team-building' gadabouts. Good on you.

larabanana · 25/06/2013 19:11

Thank you all for being so nice about it. Work was pretty tough today most people said nothing but there was a random baby picture printed out and on my desk and another pinned up on the mirror in the loos.

I don't think that I would be a good mum. It is such an important thing and I would just mess it up - pass on all my insecurities and lack of confidence.

Plus I wouldn't be able to afford it. I ended up moving back home and can't exactly have a baby living here. And yet I can't afford a mortgage - well I can't get one for enough to buy a place on my wages. There just seem to be babies everywhere. It hurts.

OP posts:
lessonsintightropes · 25/06/2013 19:13

Whoever printed out those pictures is an utter shit. IMHO. Ignore and chin up Flowers

raffle · 25/06/2013 19:15

Your colleagues did that? That is ridiculous behaviour in a workplace [Shock]

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 25/06/2013 19:17

Someone printed a pic of a baby and put it on your desk?? And on the mirror in the loos?

What kind of fuckwits do you work with? That's just goddam mean and pathetic of them.

Angry on your behalf.

Cravingdairy · 25/06/2013 19:22

Lara I would report that. There is a really nasty piece of work in your office and they need to be disciplined. If they get away with this they will likely do other horrible things. You have nothing to be ashamed of and should be able to go to work without being harassed.

It's impossible to br a perfect mum btw! Flowers

monicalewinski · 25/06/2013 19:36

Lara that's nasty. What Craving said, you should report it, and NO-ONE is a perfect mum - we all muddle through.

You're still so young, try not to overthink it all xx

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 25/06/2013 19:38

I agree. Report it.

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