to feel vaguely annoyed about the teacher's present collection?

[prettybutclumpy]

I have been collecting donations for my DC's teacher at school with another really lovely mum. She suggested that all the children should sign the card rather than just the kids whose parents had donated to the present. I think about half the class parents have donated, the others may be doing their own thing or not think teacher's presents are necessary. I don't have any issues with either of these positions. However....AIBU to be vaguely annoyed that the teacher, if she does her sums, might think the average donation wasn't much when most donating parents have given a fiver, and some even a tenner?

We run the same system as QC except it is absolutely explicit that the sticker in the card and the donation are entirely separate choices. We try really, really hard to get all the kids to sign as we don't want anyone left out because of money. The mums who organise it all work in school, so we know the teachers would far rather have 30/30 children signing than a who's who list of who has money to spare. The kids have been doing it for six years, and are very good at personalising their stickers by now!

If, as a teacher, I were to get a card with all but one or 2 names signed in it, I would discretely get those children to come up to my desk individually and sign the card saying something along the lines of, "oh look X you forgot to sign your name, come and write it here for me so I can remember all the fun times we had while you were in my class. I'll miss you when you go up into Mrs A's class next year!"

Much to my later regret, I organised a teacher and TA collection at Christmas. A thankless, controversial and frustrating task.

I gave a deadline as to when people could give me their chosen amount. If they didn't wish to contribute then that was fine, I left each family to sort their own card as that is more personal.

But I made sure not to have a list that I ticked off each time someone gave me some cash.

I never kept track, and don't have a clue who contributed and who didn't. Nor do I recall how much anyone gave (except for one who gave a showy amount double what anyone else gave).

Ah well fakebook it's just as well I've only asked this once. As I said we all take it in terms to be 'present monitor'.

Of yes, whattodo we make sure to never write down what money has come in.

In the class I work in, I got a printed list at Christmas of which family had donated to my gift! It was awful looking at who was missing and knowing that some of them would have been so upset. I threw the card away, as it just made me feel sad.

and about all these collections, who exactly gets to decide what the money is spent on, and who does the presentation?

year on year our staffroom and headteachers office look like a florist shop. And half of the staff are jetting off on holiday within a few days. What a waste! All so some parents can be seen arriving with their "mines bigger/better/posher than hers" bouquets!

We do collections at school, the class rep organises it. Having been a class rep, I know it can be a thankless task [violins]

But I collect the money and then just randomly get people to sign the card, I have never checked if they've contributed or not.

And it does feel a bit mean to not let a small child sign a collective class card because their parents didn't contribute for whatever reasons.

This thread reminds me of the huge amount of moaning I have done in the last four years.

Year 1: I bloody well did contribute to the class collection, 3 quid each - the organiser left my DD off the card
I had also got my DD to decorate a lovely cloth bag - she did herself and the teacher. It was beautiful. The teacher put it to one side and never said thank you to DD who was heartbroken

Year 2: We all contributed a poem to a book which cost two quid each - a different organiser forgot to put my kid's photo in it

Year 3: Class plant two quid each and we lso did own thing.

Year 4: Organisers asked for 18 quid - yes you read that correctly - per person...So 400 quid in total for a bespoke photo of the whole class printed onto posh metal so it was a photo but like a 'work of art'

We paid it - I think most did - the teacher was awesome and lived and breathed the kids, will never see her like again.
And don't get me wrong - the photo took ages as two parents photoed each child individually in a makeshift studio - mine of course had head against hand in a bored expression then another parent spent hours putting them all together in a row then the metal itself was sixty quid odd
But four hundred quid? FOUR HUNDRED QUID?
it transpired the photographer/graphic designer etc were working for scale so some (do not know how much) went to them and the teacher got this class photo...

IWBU but all I could think was - we could have sent her to a spa/weekend away for that much rather than a posh metal photo of class of 2012 - and will she realise it cost 400 quid?!!!

as others have said she no doubt did not care and probably treasured the photo look at our kids, they beat every other class past and future but I still ended up buying her something personal and getting DD to make her something - because I was worried she would not feel appreciated.

Bloody ridiculous I know.

We do a class collection.
Every child gets to sign the card, regardless of if their parents have donated or not, regardless of reason.
Anything less is not fair on the children involved.

As an ex teacher I would have hated parents to have a collection for me each end of year, and receive a card which did not have all the class on it. Not every child gave me a present at the end of the year, but I am still using mugs, magnets etc that I received 15 - 20 years ago. I astonished an ex-parent the other day by saying I used the ladybird mug her son gave me when he was 7. He is now 20+. I still have some lovely letters thanking me for all I did for their children. These things mean far more to me than a class collection.

My dh does most of our school drop offs and has been asked to donate to a class collection. I wanted our ds to choose a small gift to say thank you as I believe just handing over a fiver completely misses the point. If we can't be bothered to choose a gift and write a card ourselves then we are not really saying thank you.

Anyway my dh is now worried about offending if we say no to the collector and just wants to keep life simple and hand over the money. We did this at Christmas and didn't even know what was bought in the end - pointless!

I heard of one nursery class where, when one of the parents refused to contribute as she didn't see eye to eye with the teacher, the collecting parent marked the envelope "From all Class X, except Sebastian".
Petty bitch.

I understand the benefit of a 'sticker system' but why can't every child just be given a sticker to go in the card, whether money was donated or not?

I think the teachers know who the brown-nosing parents are, as does everybody else.

And do you know what they do at my children's school too? The class rep organises everything for the teacher (£5 contributions requested which is usually spent on John Lewis vouchers, how personal, not). Then someone else organises a secondary whip round to present the class rep with a bunch of flowers on the last day of the year.

I am just waiting for a third person to organise a tertiary whip round to give the second person a bunch of flowers too. And on and on ad infinitum.

I don't take part in any of it...just ask my child to make the teacher a home made thank you card.

Don't worry- the teacher will know exactly who gave the large amounts. You won't need to do any more to advertise it.

I think your system sounds horrible and divisive QueenCadbury, even if you are at a school where you know all the parents can afford to contribute it's still not nice to knowingly exclude some children.
I love what phantomamechanger said above about getting the excluded children to sign.

I did too, Sauvignon, I thought it was lovely of phantomnamechanger.

I wonder that an instruction doesn't go around to the organisers to say that they get every child to sign or don't bother doing a 'group thing' at all.

"Is that an annual thread subject? I wasn't here last year."

It comes in many variations on the same theme. It is a sign that the school holidays are fast approaching.

I'm feeling the need to thank the parents who organise class collections. I certainly couldn't be arsed to worry about it in the playground every day for weeks before the end of term, so I'm very grateful to those that do!

We like doing personal things as well, but class collection is just so convenient to many of us who contribute.

Collections for teachers should be banned, end of

I think that this whole think is OTT .. We have a whip round and this year we asked for ?3 off everybody . With that money we have bought something for the classroom... At Christmas a puppet theatre and this summer a printer - to go with the classroom printer ,then the kids MADE a card signed by them all and we put a photo in of them. Over the whole year the parents have given a total of about £5 each child .Some families just can't afford it and the teachers have said they would prefer something for the clas so they can all benefit from it.

As an ex teacher I would have hated parents to have a collection for me each end of year, and receive a card which did not have all the class on it. Not every child gave me a present at the end of the year, but I am still using mugs, magnets etc that I received 15 - 20 years ago. I astonished an ex-parent the other day by saying I used the ladybird mug her son gave me when he was 7. He is now 20+. I still have some lovely letters thanking me for all I did for their children. These things mean far more to me than a class collection

I'm an ex teacher too and I agree with every word of that.

I also agree with helopoly A small gift made/chosen by the child means something: a class collection is divisive, impersonal, unnecessary and often ethically questionable. Teachers get paid to do a job. I don't see why a class collection is necessary.

Oops sorry for typos- to go with the computer !!!!

we used to have two lovely mums who collected a donation of your choice. after bunging in £5 a couple of times, I learned that they went round bad mouthing anyone who put in only a fiver. Lovely mum put in £20! After that, we did our own thing and when DS left primary we donated a book to the library instead!

I tell you what, reading this I am dreading DD starting school.