to feel vaguely annoyed about the teacher's present collection?

[prettybutclumpy]

I have been collecting donations for my DC's teacher at school with another really lovely mum. She suggested that all the children should sign the card rather than just the kids whose parents had donated to the present. I think about half the class parents have donated, the others may be doing their own thing or not think teacher's presents are necessary. I don't have any issues with either of these positions. However....AIBU to be vaguely annoyed that the teacher, if she does her sums, might think the average donation wasn't much when most donating parents have given a fiver, and some even a tenner?

[parakeet]

Hi Awesome - no, I am in the London area, but not the SE. I wonder if this phenomenon (of the secondary whip-round for the class rep) is a London thing.

The PTA also gives bouquets to any "retiring" PTA chairs, treasurers or secretaries - paid out of PTA funds of course.

[Ragwort]

I think anything other than a token gift should be banned - totally agree with this, in most other professions it is not acceptable to receive gifts such a tokens etc (surely there is a tax liability on these anyway ).

Have you ever seen a school staff room - usually a box full of crap gifts that are recycled for fund raising tombolas etc !

[katydid02]

QueenCadbury, I think your attitude is appalling. I can barely afford to feed my children let alone contribute to a gift for the teacher. Thankfully it was the school fair recently and I paid £1 for the bottle tombola and got two bottles of wine - job done.
No doubt you will now be judging me.

[ButchCassidy]

Queen Cadbury
Do you not see how wrong it is?
All the children should be given the opportunity to sign the card contribution or not.
How cruel and awful. And really which teacher will want a card which only the rich kids sign.

Your attitude has left a bleugh taste in my mouth.

[musicposy]

Totally with the other teachers here who said they would hate a class collection.

All the parents doing this so the teacher doesn't get tat are massively missing the point. It's the tat that makes it special. It's the homemade stuff (and the odd bottle of wine ) that you treasure. It's the child who brought you in a small packet of their sweets or made you something unrecogniseable or collected a special shell for you - these things say so much. One present from a collection? Impersonal and lacking any thought, and unlikely to be anything you would choose anyway.

Luckily I teach in a very deprived school, so tat abounds! Those of you doing a class collection, I'm sure your hearts are in the right places but I'm equally sure it won't be what the teacher would choose.

[exoticfruits]

I can assure you that the teacher doesn't care and is not counting names and dividing!! The only thing that would upset them is that some children have been singled out and not allowed to sign- what a horrible idea.

[exoticfruits]

I agree entirely with musicposy- as a teacher I hate the idea if the collection which is impersonal. The things that I treasure are the homemade cards where the child has written their own message with something they wanted to say and not something dictated by the parent and the small cheap present that the child has thought about e.g. DS once gave his teacher a whistle because he knew he had lost his.

[MidniteScribbler]

I much prefer the personalised homemade cards. I keep all of them, and scan them on to my digital photo frame that sits on my desk. I also love the things kids select themselves. One of my favourites is a little statue of a pyramid. It's cheap, gaudy and completely tacky. It was from one of my students with special needs and one day I was doing some extra tutoring and had made a comment about it being my dream to go to Egypt. Her mum apologised when she gave it to me, saying that she was absolutely determined that it was the only thing she could give me and wouldn't be swayed. I love that little statue, it still sits on my desk and reminds me of why I teach.

[HorryIsUpduffed]

I swerve school collections although I could afford to put in.

This year DS(4) somehow remembered his teacher's birthday and proudly went in brandishing a fistful of mostly weeds flowers from our garden. She had tears in her eyes. DH and I were so proud of him.

QC, the collection isn't divisive; the sticker system is, and deplorable. And if you can't see that already, you never will.

I used to work in a school. My best end of term present was a washbag which I used until it fell to bits. Lovely Freddy, Y6, and his lovely mother with the enviable curls.

[exoticfruits]

I would be embarrassed if I got a whole class really expensive present that you sometimes read about- I would much rather have the pot of homemade marmalade, mug, flowers etc(although wine is nice!) one of the nicest was a shopping list notebook with a lovely wildflower picture on the front.

[TheFallenMadonna]

Oh, I 'm going to sent in a tin of chocolates next week as CaterpillarCara says. That's ace. And DD can sort out her own work of fleeing artistic genius at the end of term

I wouldn't know where someone was in the playground because we use wrap around care. I have no need with collections, but really, every child should sign. Otherwise you're teaching your children something a bit ick about present giving.

[TheFallenMadonna]

Autocorrect fail.

Towering genius.

And I have no beef with...

[jamdonut]

A TA here...staff, in my experience,much prefer the children's homemade items,because it means that child has put some thought and effort into it. I would rather receive a scrawled thank you note on a piece of paper than some fancy gift,because it means so much more.

Every day children give me little pictures or daisy chains they have made,anyway, and I always make a big fuss of them. Its the thought that counts.

[drfayray]

I organised a class present for DS's kinder teacher when he was 5. She was simply wonderful in that class of 19 boys and 4 girls . I collected whatever money the parents gave and actually all contributed but different sums. I did not bother to check. And got the teacher some vouchers to spend on herself. She was thrilled with the gesture but liked the poem I wrote for her on behalf of the class better!

As a former teacher (and one who is hoping to return to teaching) I remember receiving a lot of gifts and this was in secondary too. My best gifts were the cards and a 5 pound book voucher from a child who said I made her year bearable by being me . She had lost her mother and went off the rails a bit. But a lovely beautiful child. I still have that card and spent that voucher on a book that I still have. Oh and also some spangly earrings (!) from two lovely girls who noticed that I like jewellery. Sweet children.

I hate hate hate the idea that some children, through no fault of their own, will be left out...I think the sticker system is awful.

[southeastastra]

blimey i only got ds to make a card for his teacher when he left primary school. parents are crackers theses days, no wonder they're so stressy

[TalcAndTurnips]

I remember (this was fecking centuries ago) donating to a collection for my eldest's Reception teacher - a kind and zealous fellow parent organised it all and bought the present.

We gathered in the class on the last day - children all clutching their homemade cards - kind and zealous mum produced elaborately wrapped gift and the much loved teacher opened it, with all around craning their necks to get a good view.

Much loved teacher pulled out the most hideous Argos-stylee domed clock I have ever seen - all ghastly shiny brass tat and clanking dangly bits AND the dome was plastic.

The kids all cheered, sharp intakes of breath and winces from the parents -and much loved teacher's eyebrows went up her forehead and disappeared into her hairline as she gushed her thanks. She was a stylish, tasteful lady and would have almost certainly hated it.

It didn't really matter; the children thought it the best gift ever and the mum responsible had done all the collecting and donkey work.

But really.



It was shit.



I wonder if she still has it - or perhaps she knocked it off the mantelpiece when dusting one day shortly afterwards. Whoops-a-daisy.

[dingit]

One of my friends is a teacher and she has had the pleasure? Of teaching my DC three times. The class collection was used to buy her monsoon vouchers. She doesn't have much spare cash to spend on herself, and was delighted to receive these. I'm sure she would have been delighted with homemade gifts too, but I appreciated her honesty! What's not to like about gift vouchers for your favourite shop?

[TarkaTheOtter]

WTF is all this gift buying about? My dd is only 16 months so hopefully this trend will have passed by the time she is at school! I don't think we ever gave more than a card.

Can't you just write a heartfelt note to the teacher acknowledging if they have gone above and beyond? Or does it not count unless its said with John Lewis vouchers?

Seems like one up-manship about how "invested" you are in your child's education.
I'm another who thinks its a grey area ethically too. Especially in areas where teachers earn significantly more than the average.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Because vouchers for your fav shop set up expectations,one upmanship and place the children whose parents cannot afford to contribute in the position of being told that gifts only matter if they cost more than they can afford and thought does not count.

Its selfish and if you really feel the need to do it should be done outside of the classroom.

And when I worked for the LA caused a lot of pain in the arse paperwork and having to show you wouldn't prioritise the children belonging to the parents who did use gross displays towards you.

[ENormaSnob]

I find class presents unethical tbh.

[Fakebook]

MidniteScribbler, I've never said this before to anyone, but that's a really lovely post.

[harryhausen]

It's so nice to hear from teachers who say they like the homemade cards and a bit of tat.

When my pfb was in reception, I was the parents who did a collection to buy the teacher (and TA's) a voucher. Parents still brought in their own stuff anyway. I wasn't thanked for it and it was big hassle

Pfb is now in y3. For the past few years they have drawn and written their own card with their own message and we've left it at that. I sometimes feel a bit anxious when I see huge boxes of Crispy Creme, champagne and huge flower bouquets going in, but have brushed it off.

This year, dd has had the best teacher ever (for dd). I will let her tell her in her own words I think I be happy

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

You all know that the crass, gushy wannabe.teacher's.pet posters won't be back on this thread, don't you?

I really like reading about the fab personal gifts... 'fistful of flowers - mostly weeds!'

[Lancelottie]

Horry, DS (who's 14) somehow found out he shared his Geography teacher's birthday, and took her some biscuits on the day the big softy. Apparently she nearly cried as well.

[HorryIsUpduffed]

::sniff::