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To find people who like making a three act tragedy out of everything v annoying

163 replies

arabesque · 24/06/2013 13:38

One of my colleagues does this and she's getting on people's nerves. Last week her American cousin's husband died suddenly. Very tragic, obviously but my colleague barely knows her cousin and had only met the husband a couple of times. However, on Friday she wouldn't come to another colleague's retirement drinks because 'given her family bereavement it wouldn't really be appropriate and she didn't want to put a dampener on things'. I mean, FFS. Two colleagues have lost their fathers in recent months and she's making more of a fuss than they did.

Last year her mother had her credit card skimmed and this colleague went on as if the woman had been mugged at knife point, talking about how 'shaken up' the whole family were and 'you never really think it will happen to someone you know, do you'.

She took a day off work when her sister was having her appendics out (op in morning, home that afternoon) because she'd only be 'worrying and no use to anyone'.

AIBU to wonder how she will ever cope if she has something serious to cope with and also to feel that there are people in work with real worries and traumas and she should get over herself and stop being such a drama queen?

OP posts:
TheRealFellatio · 24/06/2013 16:59

God I really must stop the swearing. Honestly I'm getting a mouth like a sewer. Blush I don't swear this much in real life honestly - it's just something about MN that brings it out in me. It'e like having one of those squeezy stress relievers in your hand the whole time.

StealthPolarBear · 24/06/2013 17:04

:o chopin. He sounds like a proper drama llama.

Elquota · 24/06/2013 17:05

I knew someone like that. It was always all about her. This was the case with anything positive too - she'd get catty and jealous.

doingthesplitz · 24/06/2013 17:15

I think, in a bizaare way, some people are actually jealous of people who have something difficult going on in their lives. All they see, as someone upthread said, is the drama and the flowers being delivered and the sympathy of everyone at work and they want to be at the centre of all that fussing and attention; but don't understand that along with all that goes sleepless nights, feeling absolutely miserable, huge life adjustments, exhaustion, dejection, etc etc. You can't really have one without the other. It's not like some soap opera where someone is bereaved in one episode and two weeks later is down at the Rovers as if nothing ever happened.

youarewinning · 24/06/2013 17:21

It's just reminded me of another collegue the only ever pregnant woman in the world.
Her FB status is always something about how awful X was, how awful and vile someone is - never name drops though.
Off work with 'stress' after being signed off with an illness (not pg related) When off ill we sent flowers - as is the norm for anybody off for more than 2 weeks.

Resulting FB status about flowers? A huge picture and massive thanks to "those who did contribute" Hmm It wasn't really what was said but the intonation of it.

needaholidaynow · 24/06/2013 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SamuelWestsMistress · 24/06/2013 17:29

People like this do my head in. There are SO many about, it's terrifying. I think some people just like to be the centre of a drama because they are so desperate.

I agree with the FB status updates too.

"I can't believe what's happened to me, this is truly awful" usually followed by 6 people saying "you ok Hun? X" then no reply from the OP but a similar update several days later when their friends, cousin's, daughter's, teacher's, uncle accidentally dropped a pet hamster into a food blender while making water cress soup.

"omg never realised life could be so cruel"


SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter · 24/06/2013 17:30

I used to work with someone like this, she was very, very tiresome. She constantly talked about her 'serious heath issues', which included a tropical disease she'd somehow managed to catch despite never leaving the country in her life.

fishandmonkey · 24/06/2013 17:38

wow i've never heard of sympathy flowers for a healthy new mum and baby. weird. some people just really seem to attract this and, like others have said, i just don't get it. i have a "friend" who constantly has "dramas" and people all seem to indulge her and i want to shake them all and say "how can you not see how ridiculous she is being?" she once started crying because she her son had had a growth spurt and she couldn't see how she could afford to buy him any new clothes. everyone jumped up and started hugging her. what is going on?

Bogeyface · 24/06/2013 17:39

I have a story like this but its very very long!

In a nutshell the moral of the story? If you dont know a drama llama, thats because its you!

WafflyVersatile · 24/06/2013 18:01

I've been signed off since reading about a mumsnetter's missing terrapin. I'm shaking like a leaf just thinking about it now.

I mean, he'd turned up again by the time I read the thread, but still you can't expect to just carry on as normal when something like that happens.

Spaghettio · 24/06/2013 18:18

While my DH lay in ICU in hospital, he took a phone call from a friend who "couldn't possibly come to visit as he was so busy and upset as his west end show had been cancelled. He was so upset he wasn't seeing anyone (apart from all our friends)! DH said he understood, it was very sad.

When DH died 3 weeks later, he was the first to say he was so upset as it was so sudden and he didn't get a chance to say goodbye - and btw did you know his west end show was cancelled? So sad. Shock

He's still the most self absorbed person ever! Grin

Wahla · 24/06/2013 18:26

Urgh there is a women in our PTA that I am unjoining very soon who does this. In the last two weeks alone her BF joined the army without telling her, she was in court giving evidence about a flasher, her BF's sister died in a car accident and one of her kids has been referred to an educational psychologist because he is withdrawn and 'emotionally disturbed'.

Not all of it is true but why let the truth get in the way of a good drama?!

My parents also loooove to be ill and never let a sniffle pass them by without milking it for all it's worth. Funny because they are very dismissive of other people's ailments as a general rule.

StealthPolarBear · 24/06/2013 18:30

Spag, so sorry to hear about your DH. but as for the rest of your post you have to be making it up. Surely?

jessjessjess · 24/06/2013 18:44

Meant to say I have a friend like this - she once updated Facebook to complain that she had burnt her tongue and didn't know whether to go to the doctor.

Some people definitely are jealous of drama. Or they assume your life is perfect if you're not doing the whole drama routine. I had another drama queen friend who actually ended the friendship because I wasn't sympathetic enough about her many problems and didn't call her enough to listen to her moan. She started screaming at me for not being a good friend. I was signed off work with depression at the time...

thebody · 24/06/2013 19:00

Some people are drains sucking the life and fun out of everything and its all about them while others are radiators who flow with warmth and give.

In my experience those with the toughest lives are radiators.

AThingInYourLife · 24/06/2013 19:15

"If you dont know a drama llama, thats because its you!"

Not necessarily.

I'm not a drama llama at all, but I seem to have a very high tolerance for other people's dramas.

I find being the centre of a drama so unappealing that it rarely crosses my mind that someone is making a massive deal about nothing.

This is a typical conversation in our house
Me: "Poor Myra (a good friend) has such terrible luck with her health. It just seems to be one thing after another."
DH (has known Myra for years longer than I): " Hmm Myra is a hypochondriac you daft gobshite."


I'm the asshole who gives these people the oxygen of interest and sympathy.

I'm to blame. Blush

FruminousBandersnatch · 24/06/2013 19:15

Spaghettio that is awful, I hope you dropped said 'friend' like a tonne of bricks.

I had a boss like this. One day me and my colleague were sitting in the kitchen and she was saying how upset she was about her grandmother's death at the weekend. Boss came in and saw her face and said "what's happened?" When she found out she didn't offer sympathy or anything, just said "Oh when MY grandmother died I was SO upset. There's no way I would've been able to come into work."

lashesandflashes · 24/06/2013 19:26

I have a sil like this. Stamps her feet all the time. Has one dc and hates the fact she didn't provide the first GC. My youngest DC fell ill at 6 weeks and was admitted to hospital for lumbar puncture etc. vvv stressful.

We live far from family but thankfully mil and fil were visiting and offered to stay on for a few days. They were meant to go to sil for a few days. Her response? Lots of feet stamping and cries of showing favouritism amongst their GCs. Breathtaking really. I think she revealed more of herself than she meant to. Words fail me.

I just pity her. Particularly since her DH is made of the same stuff. Incredibly vain and never a nice word to say about anyone.

VonHerrBurton · 24/06/2013 19:38

I have a few friends like this. Yes, a few. We all turned 40 over the last couple of years. I've done a lot of thinking and talking, to some of the others one drunken night and realised that ok, we've been friends for years, 30, in some cases. But I reckon if I met these 'few' now, for the first time, I really wouldn't like them very much. Its all about them, their mid life crises, constant fb habit, tweeting absolute BOLLOCKS drama, drama, drama... Its just not me.

I need to move on.

kerala · 24/06/2013 20:28

My ILs were at it again recently. Their son (DHs brother) suffered the worst thing a parent can go through (don't want to out myself but you can guess). What did MIL stress over and go on and on about? A minor medical procedure FIL MIGHT have to have. Necessitated ILs cutting short their visit and racing off home after the funeral offering zilch support to the bereaved parents. DH and I were Shock and amazed how gracious BIL and SIL were I would have lost it. In the end FIL didnt need the minor procedure after all (a long solemn email was sent updating us AND BIL AND SIL!) about this. I think if I had received that email the day after my baby's funeral I would never have spoken to them again.

Spaghettio · 24/06/2013 21:27

I swear it's all true!

Unfortunately he has continued on in the same vein - he's a proper drama llama (especially as he's and actor/director!) still, so we don't see much of him. He's always been self absorbed, so we (all our friends) just kind of accept it as his way - if it really pissed us off we'd tell him. Don't think it would do any good, but it might make us feel better. Grin

Manchesterhistorygirl · 24/06/2013 21:27

I actually do live in the village where the female police officers were murdered and said acquaintance managed to get on the radio about it! Hmm

Dippyeggsrock · 24/06/2013 21:42

My SIL had 2 years off work when her Dad died- yes it was a sad time but 2 years!! - I had 5 days of when my Dad died!!! Shock

parakeet · 24/06/2013 21:47

Oh please, someone give us some more of this, I love it.

I am not friends with any drama llamas. Not because it's me who's the D.L. In fact I pride myself on my stoicism. It's because I have an extremely low tolerance for it.

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