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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do I send him to school?

72 replies

mamateur · 24/06/2013 08:18

What has to happen for your child to take the day off school sick?

DS, Y10, has been bouncing around all weekend, now says he feels 'queasy', too sick even to get out of bed and have something to eat. We said he would have to go to the doctor if he was that sick, he says he will go. I haven't taken his temperature yet. HOping for quick responses.

OP posts:

redcaryellowcar · 24/06/2013 08:20

Think i would be inclined to believe him. Not sure why, but if he is thinking doctors is a good idea maybe you should go? Hope he feels better!

Xmasbaby11 · 24/06/2013 08:22

Let him stay home. If he feels sick I wouldn't rush to doctor, just let him stay in bed.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 24/06/2013 08:24

I would be asking myself what has happened for him to suddenly want to avoid sch

Keep him home today

Groovee · 24/06/2013 08:25

Keep him off but should he brighten up, send him to school. Mine have to stay in bed when poorly. Its amazing how many times they are able to get out of bed and dressed for school when they are told to stay in bed!

Original poster

mamateur · 24/06/2013 08:26

I was expecting you to be more hardcore.

So, if they say they feel sick you just believe them? I took his temperature and it's completely normal.

OP posts:

Yonihadtoask · 24/06/2013 08:26

Hard to say, without knowing the child. It sounds odd to have just come on overnight- if he has been fine all weekend.

My DS is in Y10 also, and I know that he has to be feeling really bad to feel ill enough to take a day off. He would have too mch work to catch up on (and have me over shoulder nagging him to check-in with his teachers to see if he has extra work, or do extra revision).

Yonihadtoask · 24/06/2013 08:27

how far away is school?

I'd probably send him - and tell him to go and see the Nurse/Matron if he felt too ill to continue the day.

Original poster

mamateur · 24/06/2013 08:28

I think he knows I won't have time to take him to the doctors.

For background, he missed 3 months of y7 (before he came to live with us) which started with him saying he didn't want to go to school. That was a long time time ago though, another life time for him.

OP posts:

spg1983 · 24/06/2013 08:31

Does he have a controlled assessment today by any chance?!

Original poster

mamateur · 24/06/2013 08:32

I don't think so, I'll log into the website and check though. Good thinking.

OP posts:

spg1983 · 24/06/2013 08:36

Sorry, I'm a bit cynical! I work in a high school so I see this thing all the time. Could be a real illness though...

Will the school's website show re-arranged dates for re-takes? May be worth checking with DS or even ringing the school when they open so they can pop an email round. Not sure how that helps with you getting him to school once you're at work though, sorry :(

Original poster

mamateur · 24/06/2013 08:40

I've checked the website and he doesn't have an exam. I believe he feels a bit sick but I don't think that's enough to have a day off school. I've said if he gets up and has something to eat he'll feel better but he won't try.

OP posts:

StitchAteMySleep · 24/06/2013 08:41

I would send him, if he gets sick he can be sent home. Year 10 is an important year.

5madthings · 24/06/2013 08:49

I say get up and have something to eat/drink and see how you feel. And see hoe they look, does he look ill ie pale and 'peely wally' iykwim? but if they dont seem ill i tend to send them to school. Esp in yr 10 as attendance is imp.

You could be nice and take him tea and toast in.bed to have and then encourage him to get up and go.

Original poster

mamateur · 24/06/2013 08:52

5mad I said that to him, offered to bring tea and toast. He is refusing. DH has said he will drive him to the doctors then on to school but he is refusing to get out of bed at all.

OP posts:

xylem8 · 24/06/2013 08:55

we have this sickness thing going round here that seems to affect women (stomach ache and vomiting) more than men (nausea and tummy ache).I hope he hasn't got that, it takes 2-2.5 weeks to go completely.Before then awful waves of sickness and feeling hungry but unable to eat.

YoniBottsBumgina · 24/06/2013 08:55

I think it depends. If you think he's just trying it on then send him anyway. If you think this might be the start of something like the Y7 incident then keep him off but talk to him, make it clear you know that he's not really sick but that you want to help with whatever's going on at school. It might have been another lifetime for him but really it was only three years ago and (I'm guessing he's fostered or adopted?) something could have triggered a repeat of the way he felt back then, or something's happened which he doesn't know how to deal with in a mature way (especially if he's a bit "I'm too macho to talk about my problems, especially to a mum figure" kind of thing, which is likely at 14!)

If you decide to send him anyway then I'd keep an eye and perhaps speak to his tutor or head of year - is it the same school as he was at in year 7?

xylem8 · 24/06/2013 08:57

If you believe he feels sick, what do you think he will learn at school? To say nothing of the fact that he will be spreaduing it to other pupils and staff.

xylem8 · 24/06/2013 08:58

..and as for taking him to the doctors?? For feeling sick? No wonder some people have to wait so longfor an appointment

Nanny0gg · 24/06/2013 09:01

He doesn't need to go to the doctor for feeling queasy!

Does he actually look ill?

If not, I suggest he may be trying it on.

PrettyKitty1986 · 24/06/2013 09:03

Why do some people think it's odd that it's come on overnight?

I had an awful 24 hour bug recently that i caught from the kids...I was right as rain Friday morning, went out to lunch with work at 2pm, fine. Picked the kids up, fine. Started to feel a bit icky about 4pm, by 6pm I was throwing up continuously and couldn't leave the bathroom.

livinginwonderland · 24/06/2013 09:11

Second Pretty that a lot of bugs come on overnight or within hours. A few weeks ago I was fine all day, felt sick around 3pm and two hours later was throwing up and was sick in bed for the next 36 hours. At 2pm of the day I was sick you'd never have guessed I was going to be ill - I felt absolutely fine.

If he looks ill, keep him off. He doesn't need to go to the doctors for feeling sick, though. Make sure he stays in bed - no TV, no video games, etc. Take the wires if you have to - ill should mean bed.

RoooneyMara · 24/06/2013 09:15

Doctors would be utterly pointless.

If he says he is ill, take him at his word, like you would an adult. Say he can come and talk to you if he is worried about something.

Either he is ill, or he is worried enough to pretend to be ill.

youarewinning · 24/06/2013 09:23

Another saying bugs can come on really quickly. I went for a meal Saturday evening as right as rain and stuffed my face.

An hour after getting home my right neck gland swelled, throat got sore and felt awful. Throat really swollen and covered in gunk.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 24/06/2013 09:25

You'd take him to the doctors because he feels sick?

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