AIBU?
to take ds away without DH?
AaDB · 21/06/2013 20:31
I have been self employed until recently and have found a new full time job. They have been very understanding about arranging a delayed start date so that I can support my DM through cancer treatment and this also means I will have the school holidays off with DS (6).
I would love to take my ds away somewhere hot for a week. DH is gutted and doesn't want me to go away without him. We share money however, I am the main earner. My new job will mean long hours and stress and I would love to have a break with my lo before I start.
He has a few breaks away with friends arranged - this is fine by me. We have agreed to two trips away with friends a year; even if this means sleeping in a spare room in a different city.
I see this trip as one of mine. It is lovely that DH wants to go. It is easier and cheaper to arrange something for just ds and I.
AIBU?
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 21/06/2013 20:36
So your DH could get the time off to come with you and wants to come but you want to go alone with your child, is that right?
I really don't know how to answer, it would never occur to me to do such a thing and i doubt it would DH either.
Why don't you want him to come? I don't see what you being the main earner has to do with it, that doesn't give you the right to dictate spending.
Squitten · 21/06/2013 20:39
I would expect my DH to come on a family holiday unless he had a commitment that meant he couldn't and was happy to stay at home. Going away with your son isn't the same as a solo trip with friends - your DH will undoubtedly want to spend time with his DS too.
You seem very callous about it TBH - you're the main earner and it's easier to dump your DH out of it so off you go! I think I'd be very hurt if my DH thought that about me.
shockers · 21/06/2013 20:47
I've just been away with my DS for a week, DH paid for it as birthday presents for the pair of us, as he was booked up with work. He also looked after DD, as her SN would have prevented her from most of the activities on the holiday (watersports).
I loved every minute of it, but wished he was there too. I don't think I would have enjoyed it without his full blessing ... it was lovely sending him photos of our exploits and having him get excited with us!
Sorry... that probably doesn't help at all!
AaDB · 21/06/2013 20:48
Earning more money doesn't give me any right over spending money. However, I have my own money and this would not come from a family budget.
DH has limited time that he could take off because he already has two trips away arranged. I went away for two nights and stayed with friends earlier in the year. I would like to book something that DS would love.
The situation is a practical one in my eyes. I will never have as much time off as I do now (until we retire). I want to make the most of it and bag a bargain if possible. I couldn't go away to a holiday destination that ds would love and not take him.
.Yonihadtoask · 21/06/2013 20:51
YANBU if DH cannot get time off work or has other commitments.
YABU if DH wants to join you and DS on a family holiday but you are vetoing it as he has other breaks planned.
I have no issue with taking separate holidays with the DC - we do it a lot here, but only with full agreement of all parties.
dufflefluffle · 21/06/2013 20:53
Until I had DC#2 I took my DD away every year on holiday as DH was working. Usually I went with a friend but also just the two of us. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Dh never minded. Haven't done it in a long time though as taking two away on my own just doesn't appeal!
wendybird77 · 21/06/2013 20:55
I used to take trips with just one of my parents - all 3 of us did. It was great to have a parent all to yourself and I cherish those memories. I would go and enjoy every moment. You won't get many chances. As above, your DH should book a trip with DS too!
).dopeysheep · 21/06/2013 21:14
I have been away quite a bit just me and the children it's lovely. Quite a different dynamic that is fab.
I think your DH sounds a bit selfish and a tiny bit controlling. Apologies if that is wrong and I do see that he wants to be included but it makes things very difficult for you.
I think you should go.
BackforGood · 21/06/2013 21:39
I think YABU as a family to prioritise 'trips away with friends' over a family holiday together 
Not entirely clear if your dh has holiday he can take or not - if he can't get away, then it's not unreasonable to go just you and ds, but if he can, then it sounds strange to me, to want to exclude him
Mind, seems odd that your new employers have allowed you to delay the start so you can be with your Mum, but then you are not spending that time being with your Mum.
JackNoneReacher · 21/06/2013 21:43
A family holiday - where one member of the family isn't invited...
She's got the whole summer alone with their child before starting a new job.
The OP It is easier and cheaper to arrange something for just ds and I. If a man wrote this I think the replies would be very different.
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