To have put a note on my door telling my Mental Health nurse that I've had to go out at short notice and I'm very sorry...

[TrinityRhino]

even though I haven't gone out and I just don't want to see her today.
I cant ring her, I've lost her number.

Why don't you want to see her?

ring the hq place and ask them to let her know.

No unreasonable to not want to see her, but unreasonable to allow her to make the journey when you've no intention of seeing her.

Ring HQ and get a message passed on

I have no numbers for them at all
I don't even know where she comes from as it were

I'm tired, I don't want to sit and smile at her whilst she asks me if I've caught up with the washing (which I almost have) or if I've managed to tidy up anywhere (which I have, gutted and rearranged the front room yesterday)

she doesn't really do anything and shes effusively happy which is lovely and kind but wears me out

I just want to have a nap

this afternoon I have my bedroom in my sights to tidy, clean and reorganise
I have clothes to store in the loft
photos to frame and put up
memory boxes to add to
I'm going to put more flowers on neils grave from my sister
I want to skype my mum and dad which is always emotonally hard because of how ill my mum is

everything that I want to achieve is an emotional drain
I just want to have something to eat and take a nap
then I'll feel ready for the fight after a quick shower
I want to do as much as I can before the girls get home too so time is precious

Thats what I feel is the unreasonable bit
I dont know how to find out where she comes from and how to find a number to leave a message with someone
I only know her first name and she is handing me over to someone new whos name I have forgotten

YANBU but you should let her in - tell her what you've told us and say you want to keep it short today and would have preferred to cancel but had no contact numbers.

You probably aren't the only person she's knackering out with her cheery, chirpy demeanor. TBH you'd be doing her a favour by letting her know.

Not unreasonable at all if she's anything like my old one. I lost count of the amount of times I've sat in waiting for her only for her to fail to turn up. If she's more reliable then you really ought to ring and cancel. You'll be able to ge the number from somewhere. Your GP's surgery should be a good place to start or google local CMHT.

I think if you call your GP surgery they should be able to track down where she comes from.

Not unreasonable for you to want to put her off visiting today.

{{FentonHug?}}

Oh, that's difficult ... sorry, but I think you shouldn't. She's coming for a reason. By all means tell her you're struggling with her visits (she's a professional, she needs to know as mrsL says).

I'd worry you missing an appointment could ring warning bells - I'm sure you are ok, but she will know other people who don't necessarily see the signs that they're retreating into themselves, if you see what I mean? Hope you don't mind me saying that, it's just the first thing I thought of.

Nah, don't waste you're time searching for numbers and ringing round. Is knackering, I find. just have a kip until she gets there.

TBH I'd give her 10 minutes with you and not a second longer. Show all is well and shoo her away. Last thing you need is numpties claiming you're not co-operating or whatever.

Definitely let her in and don't cancel. You don't need to put on a front for a CPN.

You are lucky to have a CPN still cos i need one but don't have one any more.

I would meet her at the door and say you can't face it today. She should understand. If you cancel with no notice and without a reasonable explanation it could count as a "DNA" (did not attend) and possibly affect your future support. Any mental health professional worth their salt will recognise that you're having a hard day, and be happy to re-arrange if you are open about it.

...also hats off to you for all your hard work x

Meeting her at the door but not letting her in would ring massive alarm bells, IME. Makes 'em think you've something to hide.

right ok, I rang the social work office and they gave me the number, I left a message with the lady on that number, I feel better doing it that way
I wasn't happy with wasting her time

thanks everyone

I cant shoo her away or not let her in

not letting her in would definitely ring alarm bells as I have never done that before

and I'm not very good at shooing or telling people I need to get on and showing them the door

You're a star! Enjoy your well earned rest.

off for my rejuvenating nap, thanks all

you are wonderful

I think you should see her/him. It might even help. If you skip now it will be harder to see them next time. You do not need to pretend you're feeling any other way than you are.

Hmm, not necessarily MrsLettuce. When I say "meet at the door" I don't mean block access or anything! Just to answer the door and say energy is running really low today, so the session is unlikely to help.

I also agree that if she's trying to jolly someone out of a low mood and it's not helping, this needs to be fed back.

Well done Trinity

even better she just rang me and we have rearranged

You have done the best thing to phone her and to rearrange the appointment.