Jeremy Forrest verdict - aibu to be confused?

[noddyboulder]

Yep, I don't think even his own parents could deny he's a massive, hideous scumbag with no impulse control - but how can he have been found guilty of abduction when the girl he had an affair with said it was her idea to go to France and she went willingly?

Can somebody legal shed some light?

"she was in a position to make a free choice" - bollocks she was!
She was a child under the influence of an adult in a position of authority over her!

BTW I think that smug look that Jeremy was wearing on the way in/out of court was that predatory men generally believe that all men are like them.

He's probably kidding himself that men are looking at him in envy at the moment, because secretly they'd all like to have authority and control over 15 yr old girls in order to groom them for sex. That's how men like him justify their actions they're just doing what all men would like to do.

Which of course is utter bull.

You don't have my sympathy Berts you have my utmost respect.

Whatever I am a very balanced, reasonable successful person. I am sorry that if my opinion does not sit with your it is I who is in the wrong. I do not see what the problem is I just said she will feel like Bert did and MAYBE she will be OK that is all. If she is not then I hope she gets the help she needs.
Context.

She wasnt in a position to make a free choice at all! She was a child who was manipulated by an adult in a position of authority who dam well should have known better.

Its not a misguided love affair, this is a man who has manipulated and abused a vulnerable girl.

IMO this whole 15/16 thing is overblown, it's an arbitrary number

Why is it that in France the age of consent is 15, are French girls/boys able to make decisions of who to have sex with earlier? If they were French they would have not committed a crime. 16 seems a bit arbitrary in my opinion

Sigh. Arbitrary? I don't actually think it is particularly. It is designed to reflect an age when most children will be physically and emotionally able to deal with sexual relationships.

But more importantly, it is the law, not a basis for some kind of negotiation. How else are we to have an age of consent law: no sex with children under 13, but above that age you can argue the child was 'ready' and 'willing'? She was 'buxom'? How on earth is anything other than a set age limit 16 and not a day younger, supposed to be workable (and yes, I know other countries have limits that are different according to the ages of both participants, so do we in effect, if Forrest were 17 he would not be prosecuted)?

I this'll the sentence was appropriate - my fear was he would get a slap on the wrist.

Berts I think anyone who reads your post (and SomeDizzy's earlier) and still defends this awful man/victim blames - well there's something wrong with them. I appreciate your thoughtfulness, honesty and insight.

I think - stupid autocorrect.

Sad but exactly echoes my own experiences and those of many other victims Berts. Big hug to you x

Imnotmymum - you are essentially victim blaming here. Do you mean to?

You are implying that it's Bert's fault that she was not strong enough, or "realistic" enough to deal with her teacher grooming her for a sexual relationship when she was a vulnerable (underage) teenager.

Put the blame squarely where it belongs - with the groomer taking advantage - the teacher - the ADULT.

I never said that. Just do not presume she will be a wreck. I am sorry Berts for your ordeal and I was not saying sod the rest of you. Maybe you should read things properly and not read between the lines and come up with your own judgement.

imnotmymum
"Of course she was in a position to make a free choice."

This, is neither a balanced nor reasonable view, in context.

And no not victim blaming. Just saying I was as part of my relationship as he was. I was not a victim but a fundamental part. I could easily blame him for being older bit I do not. Not saying I am in a better position but that is just my personality. The girl may be the same-maybe not. Just do not look too far into the future.

Just do not presume she will be a wreck

It's a high risk among teenagers who have been groomed by older men. Especially when that man abuses a position of authority over them. Bert (and others) have illustrated that very eloquently here - but you dismiss it. Why?

I'd invested so much of my own identity in it, I had lied to everyone I loved, cut myself off from my family, lost almost all my friends and been horrifically bullied, so I HAD to believe that it had been worth it, that it really was true love.

But it wasn't. It was a teenage crush and, if he hadn't done everything he could to encourage it, it would have petered out like any other teenage crush. Maybe I would have dated boys my own age and had normal experiences of a first relationship.

Berts, I'm so sorry this happened to you. This is what the apologists don't seem to get. That 'relationships' like this turn the young person's whole world upside down.

When Forrest took this girl away, she became the subject of nationwide scandal. Even though her name wasn't mentioned during the court case, everybody knows who she is. The notoriety is going to follow her around for years. He must have known that that would be the inevitable result of her disappearing overseas with him. If he really cared for her, surely he'd never have made her the subject of public scrutiny in that way.

She's become estranged from her family because of what's happened. Ok, there may have been problems already - very common with teenagers and their parents. But this whole affair (sorry, don't mean it in the love sense) appears to have caused a complete breakdown in her relationship with her family. How can that not be utterly devastating for a young teenager?

And this was her GCSE year. A time in a young person's life when disruption, upheaval, stress, family breakup etc are the very last thing they need to be dealing with on top of intense study and worry about exams

He is such a selfish bastard to have set a bomb under a young girl's life like this. If he had a shred of decency, he'd insist that she didn't waste another day of her life on him.

Because as humans we all different. I am not, not, not dismissing it and have stated that if she needs help then I hope she gets it to have a normal fulfilling life. However I was just pickING up on the point that people were saying poor girl. She may be fine. Blown out of proportion my comments. Totally.

Of course she had free choice, as imnotmymum we can't presume her life will be ruined by this. 5 and a half years is too harsh

I'm not 'presuming' she will be a wreck, I'm saying that my experience and the experience of others I've talked to demonstrates that these kind of relationships are often exploitative and scarring. That's why they're illegal.

Even if this girl is fine and dandy, happy as a clam for the rest of her life and marries this guy and has fat babies, doesn't mean it shouldn't be illegal.

In the opinion of the NSPCC, and various other child protection experts quoted in the newspapers today, these kind of relationships are often exploitative and damaging. If there are exceptions, they shouldn't make the rules.

And for what it's worth, I'm not 'a wreck'. I'm upset today because this has been in the news and I do carry scars from what happened, but I also have a lovely husband, a gorgeous DD and a good career, and - as my DH puts it - 'the lucky capacity to be happy'.

Argh, got to go now, sign off, sign off!

So there you go Berts. My point I was not being unsympathetic was that all may end well for her-as for you as you sound like you have a lovely life. It was perhaps the terms you used that made it sound that you were still in a bad place.

Well her life is not ruined. She has a loving family.

It is really terrifying, reading some of these posts. Can't believe that people actually think this is acceptable. There's one hell of a difference between 2 teenagers having sex and an adult seducing a child.