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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take our children to Australia for 3 weeks without DP?

55 replies

Elouie · 19/06/2013 13:25

My nan will be 90 in January and my mum and dad are going to visit them, I'd love to go, I haven't seen my Australian family for about 10 years. DS is 5 and DD will be 3 and I'd love them to meet my family.

DP doesn't want to go. We have been before pre children, he runs his own business and doesn't want to take that amount of time off work to go back to Aus at this point and his idea of 3 weeks in with my family probably fills him with dread Grin.

He says he doesn't really mind me going, but I know he will miss the kids terribly, and them him. I feel a bit torn as I desparately want to go, but can't quite decide whether I'm being selfish. Obviously I would rather he came with me, but he doesn't want to????

OP posts:
SantanaLopez · 19/06/2013 13:26

I really think he is being selfish to not want to visit your family, 3 weeks in 10 years is not a lot.

But it is far away and it is expensive, so YANBU.

Northernlurker · 19/06/2013 13:27

He could go but doesn't want to. You have a pressing family reason to go - just go. He'll miss the dcs yes but perhaps he could fly out for a week's holiday with you all - you could travel elsewhere in Australia. he doesn't have to be stuck with your family all the time.

just go.

squeakytoy · 19/06/2013 13:29

the kids will be occupied by having fun with relatives, they wont miss him..

he will be busy with work and probably enjoy a bit of freedom to do his own thing too

just go!!!

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 19/06/2013 13:29

DH has longer holidays than me so he takes the children to visit his family in North Africa without me. I do miss them but I don't think its fair to stop him and the children going just because I can't.

takeaway2 · 19/06/2013 13:31

go! I did that with DS who was 3 at the time, and DD who was 4 months old.

BeCool · 19/06/2013 13:33

go go go!

Jenny70 · 19/06/2013 13:43

Spend his airfare on icecreams and pool visits!! Yummo, and agree if he wants to stay, then would be fine with me... his loss.

Technotropic · 19/06/2013 13:44

YANBU but this is a biased opinion as we are doing the same thing. One wants to go and one doesn't.

IMHO families don't have to holiday together. It's great when they do but being together doesn't mean being joined at the hip.

Just go and enjoy yourself Smile

complexnumber · 19/06/2013 13:45

I think you should go, I also think the idea of him joining you out there for a period of time sounds good.

However, "the kids will be occupied by having fun with relatives, they wont miss him.." is a totally crap comment from someone who knows nothing about you, your relatives, your dc or your DP

McGeeDiNozzo · 19/06/2013 13:47

Just go! My wife is going to England for 3 weeks soon to take DD to meet MY parents (my SF is ill and may not get another chance). In my case I do really want to go, I'm just in my first six months in a new job and am not allowed to take time off.

kelly14 · 19/06/2013 13:49

When my dd was little and me and her dad still together I would take dd to my parents in Dubai for up to 3 months sometimes without him. He was ok with this but obv missed us, I did this for years until we emigrated to oz in 2008.

DD now only sees her dad once a year, as we have been back in uk for 2 years. I took her in march for a month, and we will move back to oz in coming years as have PR and so dd can grow up with both parents in the same country.

so yes I would go, its only 3 weeks!

Have fun x

livinginwonderland · 19/06/2013 14:00

Go! My mum used to take me to Australia to see her family without my dad every couple of years. I didn't miss him really because I was having so much fun with my cousins :)

differentnameforthis · 19/06/2013 14:03

It's 3 weeks, it will (sadly) fly by. Of course you can come without him.

nappyaddict · 19/06/2013 14:03

There's always skype!

Original poster
Elouie · 19/06/2013 14:09

Thanks all, I think it's just such a long way and for a number of reasons DP likes to be with the kids as much as possible so he will feel it. He has however worked away for the same amount of time and although that's slightly different we did all survive.

I think because its a holiday it feels different, and because its so far away. But as you say it's 3 weeks so not too long. And is likely to be my last chance to see my nan and grandad

OP posts:
squeaver · 19/06/2013 14:11

Go! Skype every day. Time will fly.

MortifiedAdams · 19/06/2013 14:11

Tbh if he is that bothered about missing the kids then he would come. Even if just for ten days. Go, and enjoy it!

WafflyVersatile · 19/06/2013 14:22

Just go. 3 weeks is a lot more out of your DGPs lives than out of your DP and DC's lives. It will be amazing for the DC too which will make them miss him less. DP can make his own decisions on whether to come or not.

primallass · 19/06/2013 14:29

Definitely go. I took DS abroad to see my family for 3 weeks when he was 6 months old. Your husband is probably looking forward to getting through a ton of work while you are away (mine would be).

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/06/2013 14:39

I'm taking DD for a month to the UK to see my DParents without DH. They will miss each other but my DParents miss us too and I miss the UK. It will fly by. I personally think that three weeks out of ten years is a tiny thing to ask but that's me.

Crinkle77 · 19/06/2013 16:05

You must go. You have not seen your family in 10 years. Yes you will miss your husband but you have got all the time in the world to spend with him when you get back.

MooseBeTimeForSpring · 19/06/2013 19:30

Do it. The sooner you book the tickets, the cheaper they will be!

leelteloo · 19/06/2013 19:36

Go go go!! Enjoy

ScarletLady02 · 19/06/2013 19:47

Can he not come out for one of the weeks? I'd miss DH like mad (as would DD), but I think I'd go.

HerRoyalNotness · 19/06/2013 19:54

YANBU. I think you will regret it if you don't go.

I took my 2 off to NZ for a month while DH worked. While it would have been nice for him to come too, he was super busy and work and could work all the hours he needed to without feeling bad about us sitting at home. Win-win.