"Did you mean to be so rude" yes.

[EliotNess]

Yes I did.
Whoever invented that as the ultimate put down? It's so jean Brodie.

It's become like anti pasta and Eton mess

Its not a comeback i would use as it just invites further rudeness.

Fuck off would generally be my comeback to somebody being rude

It riles me as soon as I see it. As does all the stuff about popcorn and biscuits and 'sits back and dons flak jacket.'

And, yes, on the HW thread, I did. I'd be rude to her if she was sat here having a cup of tea.

Lol. Good point.

All that too.

Yes I did mean to be rude about holly willoughby. Why did she want to be an author? For money.

Morning, Eliot

Bet her publicist is busy posting Hun type questions.

Yes - there are some suspiciously gushing posts there aren't there?

Actually, maybe it's all her sister . . .

I agree! With all your points.

It's one of those mumsnet fallacies, people think they are being witty, funny and oh so cool using it but in reality they sound like a cunt.

I don't think for one minute any of the key board warriors passively aggressively trotting it out at every opportunity it and advising posters to use it, actually use it in real life.

I think they do probably use it in real life when they think they've found someone even more pathetic than them.

Then they have an orgasm at their own brilliance.

Snigger

It's like "no is a complete sentence". Bull.

Inspired by this thread, I went and read the HW thread.
You Monkeys.
You were all asking questions rather than kissing 'sleb arse as I saw it. Am I wrong? Is asking tough questions rude now?

It always reminds me of what we were taught as children:

"Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me"

I never understood this, because words are bloody hurtful!

(Sorry, bit random)

Such a person has no business at all being a TA. Please calmly tell her so, adding that you would not permit her to work as a TA with your child. If that doesn't register, goodness knows how terrible she must be at her job.

I hate it - it's so passive aggressive and makes me feel all ragey every time I read it.

Miemohrs: I think a better response would be, "that is a really vile term. Why do you think it's ok to use that word?" Then just wait silently for an answer. It's direct but not rude and demands that she justify herself.

omg at the TA who is a support worker for SN
I would report her to school anonymously
that's disgusting

I think "Did you mean to be so rude" is a great line, though I've never had the wherewithal to use it at the appropriate time .

The reason is because -

(a) It is assertive i.e. you are overstepping the line here!

(b) But it is also actually getting them to pause and consider - they may not actually realise they are being so rude.

So it is not totally confrontational and gives a chance for them to re-consider, whilst at the same time makes it clear you don't likey and will not put up with!

I've never had the occasion/presence of mind to use it, since I first read it on here, but it seems really brilliant to me. A wonderful alternative to just smiling and pretending I didn't hear in a slightly embarrassed fashion.

After reading it multiple times, you may be thinking "I'd just answer yes", but that's probably a poor model for how an Unpleasant Person Being Unpleasant In A Social Way would react to being called on being unpleasant, quite possibly for the first time.

One of the best things about it is that it should allow a backtrack on the part of the offender, whether real or pretended, and thus shouldn't escalate the incident into food- or glass-throwing straight-away!

I've always found it a little bit too... 'weak' sounding, sort of like someone asking "Why are you doing this to me?" Not that I would judge the person using it as weak, but it doesn't come across as a particularly strong way of dealing with somebody probably more forthright.

I do however use, "That's very rude!" Said with eye contact and appropriately disgusted expression depending on just how bad what they said was. Maybe I come across too hostile.

I agree with ARealDame although will admit to never having used it myself IRL. If it's subtle enough to ignore I will, and if not I'll come straight out and confront it directly.

Miemhors you could just cut out the question and go with "that came over as incredibly rude SIL" instead.

It cuts off the possibility of her just saying "yes" and carrying on.

Agree with OP (grin)