"Did you mean to be so rude" yes.

[EliotNess]

Yes I did.
Whoever invented that as the ultimate put down? It's so jean Brodie.

It's become like anti pasta and Eton mess

Shade - you called it right first time, it is a love thread. Aww.

Fairisle I asked the question, but didn't get an answer.

Yes it is a shame I suppose that her sister (who wrote the book from what I could see) wouldn't have been able to get a publishing deal without Holly's name to support the publicity.

It's not really surprising though.

I can't find it again. Can someone link it?

Here

Whats wrong with eton mess?

I thought the HW and KW webchat was a load of old shite.

And mark my words, they'll be the first to be bleating on when the Financial Transaction Tax comes in, but would they offer a view on it? Would they fuck.

Jestrin: you're not the only one who is skeptical. Not by a long shot.

Afternoon. Do please feel free (if you have to) to be rude about the quality of today's webchat or indeed the opinions of our webchat guest.

But please don't resort to personal attacks: play the ball, not the player, chaps!

I like HW dresses.

I like you better than HW dresses, Sole.

Oh Liney :):):) luffs you

Are we having a drunk thread tomorrow please? I'm joining!!

I was an early exponent of 'did you mean to be so rude' back in the day, when it was all just fields around here. >

It was never meant to be a catch all comeback.
It was for my mother people who endlessly make critical comments about everything I do but always in the guise of casual conversation.
The 'did you mean to be so rude' was to overcome the situation where I one has to endure endless put downs because saying 'oi you cow' would be greeted with bambi eyes and confusion and 'but I never meant anything by it, you are so touchy' .
With my mother some people a 'did you mean that to sound quite so rude/unpleasant/critical' raised attention to the behaviour whilst reducing the ability of my mother them to make it all about you being tetchy.

Fwiw it worked a bloody dream.

Yes, Sole, I will be home from work by about 7pm tomorrow hopefully, if the trains are running nicely.

None of you are talking about the op anymore.
I am a twat.

Pag it did drift a bit, yes.

I don't mind. I can chat away on my own.

I need to read the webchat thread later I think.

Arbitrary oh good! Not just me then!

Hmmmm. I have never used it myself as I tend to veer between hit you between the eyes there is no room for misunderstanding type directness to just looking puzzled and not confronting and then kicking myself later whilst muttering jaw dripping come backs. As I age, I am tending on the former over the latter and I am totally non plussed who I offend if I feel they deserve it. In fact my reputation proceeds me on that front at work as I decided I would take no prisoners in this company after spending years walking about like a simpering weepy wuss far too many times in my last job.

On one hand I think it allows time to compose your self for the real put down. Often I will hesitate on saying something and the moment has gone whereas on the occasions I do confront it tends to be like opening a dam, once I start I am off. On the other hand, it is a bit weak I suppose. Why not say 'you are being rude'. Maybe depends on the situation.

I have an acquaintance who always makes "jokey" i.e. critical comments and I never knew how to respond - I want to yell fuck off but am too polite, then I end up feeling angry and weak. I have found a winning formula - I say "what do you mean?" with a puzzled frown. It puts her in the position of having to be overtly critical or to back down. If she wriggles, I just say it again .... and again ... She always has to back down. Might not work in any situation, but with her, it always does.

Its a ridiculous thing to say. From what I can work out its used so as not to offend someone who has done/said something offensive

Its a wimpy cop out phrase but appears to be loved by the abundant Smugs, so will remain in overuse.

Fair enough.

Fuck off you twat.

Yes, that's less wimpy

There is some rather inexplicable and unjustified nastiness on this thread

Can't put my finger on it

Are some people using it as a fairly opaque way to have a pop at individual posters ? It certainly looks that way, but perhaps there is another explanation that is passing me by

Nothing wrong with "fuck off you twat" if the situation calls for it.

At least its direct.

Of course.
And sometimes 'did you mean that to sound quite so rude' might be appropriate.
It's not withering or confrontational but relationships can be complicated.