AIBU to expect people to respect parent & child car spaces?

[Holly129]

This is something that has bugged me for a long time. I am constantly seeing men in vans in parent and child spaces amongst others. I would never park in a disabled space or a parent and child space if my dc were not with me!

Today I waited for a space at the GPs and when the person left a clearly signposted parent and child space someone cut me up and sped into the space. She then got out WITHOUT A CHILD. I wound my window down and said excuse me, I was waiting for that space and you don't have a child with you. Did she have the decency to back down or apologise? No, she gave me a tirade of abuse! There should be passes or something for those spaces, (like the disabled ones) to fine people who don't use them correctly.

ChunkyPickle Tue 18-Jun-13 12:58:53
"Hear me out here a bit, but, I have a being with me, who cannot walk very far, has poor extremely poor impulse control and understanding of both the world around him and how to follow instructions or communicate his needs. He is incontinent, doesn't deal well with loud noises, or change and must have a carer with him at all times.

Now I could be talking about someone with a severe disability, or I could be talking about a 2 year-old."

I'll give you a couple of clues:

does he weigh 2 stone or 16 stone?

is he small enough to pick up in your arms and plonked in a small buggy or does he need to be carefully rolled out into his adult sized wheelchair?

if he resisted you physically, which of you is the strongest?

could he be restrained by a firm grip on the reins or do you need to make sure he doesn't panic because you know you could not hold him?

if he does have a meltdown would it intimidate other shoppers?

will having to walk a little bit further cause him severe pain that may render him incapable of functioning for the next week?

I'm coming round shortly to lend you my severely disabled MIL. She only covers the first two of my points, but I think that would be quite enough for you to be getting on with.

I'm sure ChunkyPickle didn't set out to be offensive but she really was. I drafted a reply last night but it didn't sound right. Fortunately, there are some very articulate MNers who said it much better than I ever could.

As previously mentioned not all of those vans you see parked in a p&c will be without child

Had a lovely interaction with a lady in tesco a few weeks ago

Pulled my taxi into a p&c space jumped out and instantly got hit with a tirade of foul mouthed abuse about parking in said p&c space.

Promptly ignored her and lifted ds2 out his car seat much to her shock

People can have kids in works vehicles too, my DD used to love going out in my transit when I was. White van man

Also, it's just manners, surely? After all, there's no law to say I have to give up my seat to a pregnant woman, or an elderly person (for example) is there? But it would be pretty fucking rude of me, an able-bodied young(ish) woman not to give my seat to someone who needed it more than me. No difference here at all. [Quote]

The point is, though, on a bus you would also give up your seat to an elderly person or someone obviously struggling with an awkward parcel or somesuch. P&C spaces at the door mean no one else can park near the shop regardless of need. Again, why should an elderly person who's a bit unsteady on their feet come second to a fit young mum with children??

Oh sirzy I am s with you on the people assessing needs when you use a blue badge. A lovely elderly gentleman asked me two weeks ago why my son needs a badge as he can walk perfectly well. I didn't answer him as I know the air would have been blue. Such a shame the nice gentleman didn't see us two days later when in the middle of a crisis my son was in his chair and looking about 100.

P&C spaces annoy me purely because of the sense of entitlement some people seem to have towards them. However, as a parent I have found they are very useful and it really hacks me off when people abuse them. I don't think getting rid of them altogether is a solution but I think that having them at the front of the shop is a bit much. I use them mainly because they are wider and it's easier to get my LO in and out without battering the car next to me, the designated spaces would be just as much help to me at the back of the car park and probably less desirable to other people. YANBU, I wanted to shriek at the woman who got out of her brand new range rover that she had parked in the P&C space at my local supermarket, followed by her 'daughter' (I presume?) who was my age, talk about taking the piss.

P&C spaces are not the same as disabled spaces, if there are few disabled spaces then get rid of the P&C spaces and create more. It's not about 'rights' when it comes to P&C spaces, more about convenience and helpfulness. People who can't park in the P&C bays also get to do their shopping without it being punctuated by trying to cope with their LO as well as concentrate on the shopping. Fair trade off, I'd say! And no, if my LO is not in the car or if there are spaces on the end of a row then I don't park in the P&C spaces. I think I used them more straight after I'd given birth, less to walk!

I think I used them more straight after I'd given birth, less to walk!
[quote]

That's part of the point. I remember my SIL driving me to the supermarket shortly after I'd had a complete hysterectomy and I was praying there'd be a space near the door as I knew I wasn't capable of walking too far. I honestly think, if the only space free had been a P&C one, I would have asked her to park in it. I am sure there are many people in the same situation who a. really appreciate someone bringing to the supermarket and getting out of the house for a short while but b. really can't walk too far and need to be able to leave the shop and get back to the car asap once tiredness and breathlessness sets in.
Spaces near the door are convenient for parents with small children, but they are also convenient for other people as well and the supermarkets shouldn't be deciding that one group is more in need than another (apart obviously from BB holders.)

I have a DD who is still a toddler but has disabilities.

You cannot compare the need to open the car door fully for a disabled person as opening it so u can (in preference as opposed to using suitable trolley) take a car seat out.

I have to open the door fully for my DD as she has splints and gets into mobility pushchair.

I cannot understand why people think its the same!

Wow, I have never parked in a P&C space - but now I think I will!

Now the argument for generally wider parking spaces is useful - especially as my car is wide and sometimes some tossers park so close that I can't even open the door properly without bashing their car let alone actually get in.....

I agree with the view that they should be moved to the back of the car park. As for the poster who claims that because parents spend more in the supermarket they have 'bought their right to a space by the door', what a load of rubbish. In fact it makes me want to borrow a minibus and park it sideways across several P&C spaces.

I also hate this view that people who object to the self entitled behaviour around these spaces are 'sour', 'bitter' etc. No, they're not. I don't think anyone would object if the spaces were reserved for elderly people or converted to BB spaces, or simply had a sign saying 'we would respectfully request that spaces by the door are left for those who really need such spaces' or somesuch. It is the selection of one group of people at the expense of other equally deserving people such as old people or, as Arabesque pointed out, people who are temporarily not very able bodied, that most people object to.

I find it astonishing that anyone would be so crass as to deliberately use a space in order to make others cross or upset. Whatever the rights or wrongs about p&c spaces, that is just infantile.

Hi Miaow, it was me . Our Asda's lovely. The disabled bays are right at the front door (as they should be). To the side is a big long walkway with parking either side. Vans can park there, 4X4s, pick up trucks, it doesn't matter, you can always get in and out, and then at the end of the walkway's a crossing so it's actually safer than P&C up the back. I don't know why people park anywhere else.

I don't think people deliberately park there just to piss people off - but if it's busy and all the other spaces are taken up. Why the hell now? I will in future.

"'we would respectfully request that spaces by the door are left for those who really need such spaces'"

While a bit wordy, I like the sentiment in this.

I think there's a common misconception on this site that p and c spaces are used by people who want to park close to the shops and are too lazy to park further away.

In my experience is that cars tend to be a bit wider nowadays compared to those of 20-30 odd years ago so spaces in some car parks aren't very wide. Also, because we use car seats now, you need to britax able to open your passenger doors quite wide to get your child in and out.

I am more than happy to park where no other cars are in a car park so I can get my kids in and out of the car easily but someone always seems to park next to me and not give me enough space to open the door wide enough to get my toddlers in the car and my body in far enough to strap them in. It drives me mad. Don't even talk to me about the times when I had to get an infant carrier out of both sides of the car, they're heavy enough either a sleeping baby in them without struggling to get them out of the car.

That is why people need p and c spaces. Not because they are entitled or lazy. It's just common courtesy to only use these spaces when you actually need them.

YADNBU OP.

be able to not britax!

At my local supermarkets the P&C spaces are where they are because that's where they keep the various toddler and baby friendly trollies with the wee seats. If you have to park a long way from these when you have a baby or toddler in tow it can be a pain in the arse. This is why people parking two-seater sports cars there without DCs in them can give me the hump: unnecessary buggy deployment or baby portage required.

Yes, I agree with moving the spaces further away from the shops and I expect that they will then be used for the people that they are intended for.

It is the really easy answer TokenGirl- can't see why it isn't done.

Moving the spaces is fine - but it's a bit like saying people can't be relied on to be kind. We have to make it in their own interests to do something helpful to others. Sad.

I've been there shifting 3 children under 4 across a carpark on my own in the rain. My mum was too. That's why she'd rather I had a bit of help. Why wouldn't you want to make it easier? Would you rather it was harder, made the family more stressed, wasted time that could be spent better ways? (I say "you" because saying "one" would sound ridiculous.)

The world would be a nicer place if people weren't selfish or lazy.

P and c car spaces are for the lazy, whether you have a kid or not, if it's pissing down with rain and a howling gale, we all want to get in and out as soon as possible.
Personally, I.ve never used them, I don.t drive, but when ds was small my ex just parked wherever and ds came out unscathed.
I want a 'person who hates getting their hair wet' space myself.
I also agree that there should be spaces for the elderly, many don't have a blue badge, but they struggle way more than fit healthy mums.

Agree with manic on social norms and basic manners.

I don't understand why p&c parking should be done away with, sorry must be missing something here.

It's not fun keeping one, two or more babies and toddlers safe whilst pushing a fully loaded trolley across a large supermarket car park with lots of stressed out shoppers who are in a hurry.

Nah, the p&c brigade would be up in arms to have to cross a car park.
It's not about space, it's about entitlement.
They have small children don't you know.