AIBU to expect people to respect parent & child car spaces?

[Holly129]

This is something that has bugged me for a long time. I am constantly seeing men in vans in parent and child spaces amongst others. I would never park in a disabled space or a parent and child space if my dc were not with me!

Today I waited for a space at the GPs and when the person left a clearly signposted parent and child space someone cut me up and sped into the space. She then got out WITHOUT A CHILD. I wound my window down and said excuse me, I was waiting for that space and you don't have a child with you. Did she have the decency to back down or apologise? No, she gave me a tirade of abuse! There should be passes or something for those spaces, (like the disabled ones) to fine people who don't use them correctly.

[valiumredhead]

I have seen many abled people using disabled spaces too

You've seen their doctor's notes then have you? And studied their BB application forms?


chunky really not the same at all as a 2 year old as being disabled. Good grief when ds was a baby/toddler I used to walk and use the bus!

[WillSantaComeAgain]

Well, interestingly, there can be a legal similarity between P&C and Disabled spaces.

In a PRIVATE car park (so, supermarket car parks, NCP car parks etc) you are bound by the terms of the car park operators terms and conditions. It is a private contract and if a supermarket has designated a space as being exclusively for the use of a parent with a child, then you are breaching the contract with the supermarket.

Some disabled spaces in private car parks are not designated by law and in these circumstances, someone not disabled who is parking in them is breaking the contract in no different way to someone without a child parking in a P&C space. In a private car park, there is therefore no legal obligation to display your blue badge.

Obviously, if a disabled parking space is designated by law, then it is a parking offence to park there and totally different to a P&C space.

I am not new to Mumsnet and I have not yet come across a coherent argument as to why it is OK to park in a P&C space without a child (unless you are a blue badge holder). It is rude and VU to do so. Selfish fuckers.

So, OP, YANBU.

[HoldMeCloserTonyDanza]

I am 28 and there were definitely P&C spaces when I was little. They're not that new.

[Eyesunderarock]

Hey, maybe that's why I was thin and fit when I had mine? I used the buggy, and I backpacked my shopping.

[WillSantaComeAgain]

And don't get me started on the distorted use of blue badges - my college friend who was perfectly capable of walking 2 miles home after a night out because he was too tight to afford a cab should not get the same parking privileges as my best friend, who is a T10 quadraplegic. College friend liked parking close but needed no extra space. Best friend cannot get out of her car in a normal space.

[manticlimactic]

Move them to the back of the car park. Then only people who want the wider bays would park in them.

[ChunkyPickle]

Well, I'm short dumpy, heavily pregnant and happy to either walk to the shops with DS/rucksack it back (even in the rain) or park elsewhere in the carpark, yet, I still think that P&C spaces are useful, and that people should only park in them if they have a kid.

I think it falls in with my general "don't be a dick" philosophy of life.

But go-ahead, feel free to justify inconsiderate people parking in them for no reason, or have a go at people who are foolish enough to live somewhere where driving to the supermarket is the only feasible way to shop.

[gordyslovesheep]

Willsantacomeagain I have been shouted at for getting in my car without kids ...only when I parked I did have them with me ...there dad came and collected them. It's not always as simple as people assume when a childless person dares be seen using them

I manage quiet will in normal spaces with a mega bus and three kids ...p+c spaces are nice but not worth getting in a shitfit about

[arabesque]

LOL Eyesunderarock. Which one can I be?

WillSanta do you not think elderly people might like to park close to the door. Also, should people without children go home without their shopping if they are searching for a space and the only one that becomes available is a P&C space.

Whatever about extra wide spaces, the whole concept of P&C spaces being close to the door is quite selfish as it means other people who might need them can't use them. Why should a seventy five year old have to totter over to the far reaches of the car park so that some young fit mum can whizz into a space right beside the door?

[Sparklingbrook]

Now elderly peoples spaces. That would be very good.

[Eyesunderarock]

So, another MN campaign to have P&C spaces protected by staff, but for them to be at the furthest end of the car park.
Sounds reasonable, and as soon as they are less conveniently-placed, the problems will disappear.

[arabesque]

I agree. Just put them at the other end of the car park. Lots of extra wide spaces for parents, spaces at the door freed up for elderly people, disabled people and selfish fuckers.

[Thereonthestair]

I can't believe I am going to comment but here goes. I have a 3 year old, he has a blue badge.

I have actually only felt the need to use a P+C space within the last week. For the previous year at least I parked as close as I could to where I was going. I have only used a disabled space 3 times so far and the one time I used the P+C space I felt guilty even though i had ds with me, as an older person with a stick and a blue badge was parked slightly further away. By the time I had carried DS around the shop I felt less guilty. Bit I did carry him around as wheelchair trolleys don't work for children, and standard child seat trolleys don't work for a tall toddler wearing splints so they cannot get into the trolley to sit easily if at all.

However we managed, he didn't melt and I still think perhaps the older person's need was greater because I can walk, and i can carry my 15 kg plus son and push a trolley.

It is very hard to get the blue badge for a three year old. And it was impossible for him when he was 2 despite the fact i carry a buggy and a walking frame everywhere with us. Maybe some people have distorted use of blue badges but I have not seen it. And those who are entitled to them use them less than you might think.

Now if I could have a blue badge cycle space for my son's disability trike I would be happy....

[Thereonthestair]

mind you i will also shop online whenever I can

[SirRaymondClench]

YANBU Op

[Holly129]

ballinacup you are a very respectful and NORMAL driver, I commend you!!

[Sirzy]

Move them to the back of the car park. Then only people who want the wider bays would park in them.

Exactly.

But then people would complain they had to walk their children in a car park and they couldn't possibly control their child and a trolley!

[allmycats]

Why not just have wider spaces and place them in various different places throughout the car park ?

I have a child he is 25 when he goes shopping with me can I still park in the parent and child place because he is my child and I am his parent ??

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

No, some daft twat would sue the supermarket when their child got run over as they walked from the back of the supermarket.

If you're the type to get properly riled up by someone without children using a P&C space, then I'm going to suggest that you change to online shopping. It'll save your blood pressure.

[Rhiana1979]

I never understand the vitriol leveled at P&C spaces on Mumsnet. Most of us are parents, why wouldn't you leave the spaces free for other parents and make their lives a bit easier?

Yes, I know that newborns don't melt. I also know that P&C spots are not the same as disabled spots, but do you know what? When I was childfree, I wouldn't have ever considered parking in either because I didn't need them. Why should a childless adult park in a P&C space just because they can?

Does doing so seriously not smack of utter, total asshattery? There is a car park outside my office, one bay is marked out for use by disabled people. However, it's a private car park so there is a large sign in front of it saying that people without a blue badge can park in it. Would I? No! Because I'm not a douche so, even though I could why would I choose to make someone else's life that bit more difficult?

^^ this

[arabesque]

I presume all of the parents who fear for the life and safety and dryness of their children if they have to walk across the car park always go home if there is no P&C space available and never, ever take their children anywhere where they might have to walk any distance in the rain or be steered across a busy road?

[Twattybollocks]

Yanbu. It is annoying, and people should leave them for people who actually need them, for example people trying to fasten kids into car seats, or getting an infant carrier out of the back, or disabled people who can't find a blue badge space. They are not for people who drive a huge posh car and don't want it scratched, people who can't park full stop, and of course the idle entitled selfish fuckers who just can't be arsed to walk.
I know they aren't essential if you have kids, but in reality, who wants to traipse across the car park in the pissing rain with a baby in the car seat, have to put the trolley back, lug the car seat to the car, put it on the floor behind the next car, reverse out 6ft, get out, put car seat in car, get back in and drive off? Or like my friend had to do recently, put her 18 month old in the boot while she reversed out so she had enough room to strap him in, and listen to all the abuse from people trying to get past the back of her car in the car park.
No in the scheme of things it's not that important, but it can make the difference between a fairly stress free shopping trip (as much as it can be with small children) and a bloody nightmare with a wet child who whines or cries all the way round the supermarket and all the way home.

[arabesque]

In reality, Twatty, lots of people don't want to traipse across the car park in the rain, some whose need might actually be greater than a parent with a small child.
A lot of your argument could be resolved by putting extra wide spaces at the back of the carpark. No, it's not nice for babies to get wet. But neither is it nice for elderly people, people vulnerable after an illness or surgery etc etc.

[OrangeLily]

But then why should the childless be made to park further away from a shop just because they have decided to (or possibly can't breed).

But then I don't actually think or follow that just because I don't mind the extra 5 seconds it takes to walk.

I'm just waiting for someone to mention 4x4s....

[PrincessScrumpy]

I get frustrated when I see parents with older children parking there but I don't think they quite get the reason for them. If I take one dc shopping I never use them but it's a nightmare trying to strap all 3 into their seats without bashing the car next to us with the car door. I have resorted to putting dtds into their rear facing car seats through the boot before.
My gp doesn't have them but my gp told me to use the disabled space when dtds were tiny as I had to carry them into the surgery in their car seats (pushchair wouldn't fit) and I had a hernia.
If they just made normal spaces a bit wider there would be less of an issue.