AIBU to expect people to respect parent & child car spaces?

[Holly129]

This is something that has bugged me for a long time. I am constantly seeing men in vans in parent and child spaces amongst others. I would never park in a disabled space or a parent and child space if my dc were not with me!

Today I waited for a space at the GPs and when the person left a clearly signposted parent and child space someone cut me up and sped into the space. She then got out WITHOUT A CHILD. I wound my window down and said excuse me, I was waiting for that space and you don't have a child with you. Did she have the decency to back down or apologise? No, she gave me a tirade of abuse! There should be passes or something for those spaces, (like the disabled ones) to fine people who don't use them correctly.

Okay I will do that next time sparkling! Unless I can get a p&c space

Yes probably best to avoid ALL shops at xmas with a baby I think!! I'm dreading the idea of xmas shopping with a buggy, and we still have over 6 months yet!

Haha, miaow, that sounds like a VERY good idea!

That's far too sensible Miaow.

It'll never work...

Start your Christmas shopping now then Doodle.

Like my friend

the incredibly smug one

Oh no, that is FAR too organised! I am incapable of organisation!

So am I...

"Hear me out here a bit, but, I have a being with me, who cannot walk very far, has poor extremely poor impulse control and understanding of both the world around him and how to follow instructions or communicate his needs. He is incontinent, doesn't deal well with loud noises, or change and must have a carer with him at all times.

Now I could be talking about someone with a severe disability, or I could be talking about a 2 year-old."

You could be talking about my son who has severe multiple disabilities. Do you think that a 2 year old who can't walk very far raises the same difficulties as a 12 year old who can't walk very far?

Physically never mind in terms of the stress?

Do you think that stopping a 12 year old with poor impulse control From going in front of a car is as easy as stopping a 2 year old?

Do you think that the temporary difficulties a toddler experiences communicating his needs are in any way comparable to being unable to communicate your needs for all your life?

Or the difficulties of a toddler who has not yet been toilet trained are in the same realm of someone who is actually doubly incontinent but much bigger?

Never Mind the myriad other issues caring for a disabled person raises that looking after an NT toddler does not.

I found that was an incredibly inappropriate comparison to make. I'm sure your point was not to compare severely disabled people to toddlers but that is what your post effectively did. I found it quite a kick to the stomach to read:

"Now I could be talking about someone with a severe disability, or I could be talking about a 2 year-old." at the end of your description and I wish you would rethink leaving that post here.

Twenty years ago P and C spaces did not exist. And those mothers managed just fine. YABU. Just be glad you have a car.
And I agree with the other posters re your comparisons with disabled spaces.

I found it very upsetting too decaff

Well said, decaff.

The other day we came to the supermarket car park with our disabled 12 year old DC...couldn't find a disabled parking space as all were full. One or two of the cars in these spaces were missing blue badges (as frequently happens). One of them had a scribbled note under the windscreen wiper: 'Sorry no P & C space free so I parked here'. We can't get the wheelchair out of the car without the extra space of a disabled parking bay so we had to leave.

I'm afraid 'sorry' is not good enough. Disabled people NEED these spaces while parents of young children (and I have been one) do not need P&C spaces, they are just a useful convenience. Please, please be careful in even seeming to equate the two as it just encourages the less sensitive to regard them as much the same when they are not. There is only a small minority who are selfish and bloody minded enough to park in these spaces;unfortunately there are still in enough numbers to make things very difficult indeed for the most vulnerable among us.

Oh dear is it P&C space time again already? Try Asda. Tesco are pants. Asda spaces are lovely and big without having to be P&C. Sainsbury are quite good here too since they added about 30 into their car park :).

Definitely no comparison with p&c and disabled parking spaces - p&c are a nice to have.

However I do think that the well I coped in the 70's /80's etc argument is shite - we did /didn't do/have lots of things that we do/don't have/do nowadays - it doesn't mean that they are a bad idea.

We also didn't have such massive carparks with so many cars zipping around then, less people drove etc p&c spaces aren't necessarily about being nearer to the shop - they are about safety for dc in busy car parks (eg space to get dc out of car and usually next to a foot path so small dc not walking in traffic.

So yanbu to feel people who don't fit the criteria or have parking exemption rights (eg blue badge) should use another space.

Also though - the woman who barged in front of you was out of line whether it was a p &c spot or not - you were there first and she pushed in so she wbu.

Also - why are there not more cars with sliding doors - surely they would help parents getting dc out of cars?

Since they added 30 P&C spaces :).

PS - if they don't leave enough space to get the car seat out, they don't want you buying your families shopping there for the next 20 years. So don't.

Bloody hell. Not again. They are a customer advantage. Not a right. Get over it.

In my (almost) 5 years as a mother, I've from raging to exasperated to angry to cross to a little bit annoyed to not giving a fuck. I generally avoid the P&C space as I just can't be arsed to worry about them. All this with three kids and 'fun' bus....

Who cares? It is quite possible to walk 20 feet into a store while pregnant and/or caring for a child or two, or three...P and C spaces are bollocks; walking is good for you .

Chunky that is possibly the most offensive, idiotic post I have ever read on here. You should be ashamed of yourself. Idiotic.

think everyone should be allowed to use them after 9pm apart from that they should be afforded same respect at disabled spaces.

Having a baby / child is not the same as having a disability. Simple. Anyone with half a brain can see that. Having a child in the car does not give you some divine right to a parking space. Having a toddler is no way near having a disability. Believe me I have coped with both.

they are about safety for dc in busy car parks (eg space to get dc out of car and usually next to a foot path so small dc not walking in traffic

I struggle to understand this argument for them. How do these people who struggle to keep their children safe in a car park without P and C spaces cope in the vast majority of car parks which don't have P and C spaces? or when they have to walk along a section of road with no pavement?

Surely it is better to teach your children to be safe next to the road, and make sure you are holding hands/reins and keeping them close besides you so they develop the sensible ability to keep safe around traffic?

Twenty years ago P and C spaces did not exist. And those mothers managed just fine.

Did they? Have you canvassed every mother from then to ascertain this? Because I know that my mother always comments on how useful things like P&C spaces are, and how she would have liked them to have been around in her day, instead of being sour-faced and bitter about it and saying, well if we did without it so should you.

It's worth remembering too that car park spaces have not widened much since then, unlike cars. If I park not in a P&C space, but come back to my car to find a mahoosive wagon on either side, damn right I struggle to get the door open.

Also, it's just manners, surely? After all, there's no law to say I have to give up my seat to a pregnant woman, or an elderly person (for example) is there? But it would be pretty fucking rude of me, an able-bodied young(ish) woman not to give my seat to someone who needed it more than me. No difference here at all.

If my baby falls asleep in the car seat I'm bloody well getting it out!

Until I joined MN and read threads about P&C spaces, I had assumed they were there because if you have a small baby in a seat it's hard to get it out unless you can open the door wide, hence the extra width of the bays, not that it was so people with children could park closer to the shops.

When my DD was in a baby seat, there were two memorable instances where (when having a 3 door car) I had to pull DD out of the boot by putting a seat down in the back to get her in the stupid travel system as I couldn't get the door open wide enough!

I stopped using the spaces when she was out of that seat.