To be shocked so many women are defending Saatchi on MN?

[PoppyAmex]

Thread about a million other threads...

I'm disappointed to read the comments of so many women spouting apologist crap regarding Saatchi's heinous behaviour:

"he looks like he's checking her glands"
"we don't know what she said before he did that"
"we need to hear his side of the story"
"we don't know the background"
"she must be mortified"

YABU to be genuinely shocked with just how many women chose to align themselves with such despicable behaviour?

It makes no sense to me.

I was just commenting on the other thread about how I wrote to the Evening Standard two days ago asking if they were going to cease listing him as a columnist. No answer, unsurprisingly.

And now THIS

How shocking is this?!

Just comes across as really creepy Poppy.

As I said before, if there were nothing to it there would have been no need to consult a lawyer, the police wouldn't have wasted time questioning him and they wouldn't have cautioned him.

Whether or not they seemed 'normal' at dinner parties in the following week is neither here nor there.

Anybody who thinks you can make a point by putting your hand on somebody else's throat is a nasty piece of work, however much money they have.

The reason they seemed normal was because, by the light of their particular relationship, it was normal. I don't suppose that this weeks events were a one off, CS genuinely thinks this is OK and NL has presumably developed coping strategies to get through the abuse.
It doesn't make it OK.

It's the way he said that he only accepted the caution so it "wouldn't hag over their heads", effectively suggesting he has done nothing damnable.

Horrid.

Anyone else see anything in the fact that Nigella herself has not commented at all?

IsThisAGoodIdea your post saying "She could leave if she wanted to. She obviously doesn't want to. " shows that you clearly do not understand the dynamics of DV. Physical abuse never happens without accompanying psychological abuse which is in effect much much more damaging because while you can heal from bruises the emotional abuse can keep you trapped in the relationship for far longer than you "chose" to be with the person. I would encourage you to find out more about how the psychology of how this works because DV and EA are so common, there is probably someone in your family or circle of friends being affected by it, or if not now, then maybe later on in some point in your life or your children's lives you will come into contact with it. Please make sure you know how to help.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds I think it means she is just having a good think about what to do next. LTB Nigella!

Even after one has exhausted all the (reasonable) points that couples' rows may not be all they seem and some of the most loving relationships can involve loud quarrels ending in tears, there is really no getting away from the absolute indefensiibility of tweaking someone by the nose and grabbing them by the throat. He was bullying and humiliating her in public and hurting her - and whether or not he intended to, the throat grabbing might have caused her serious physical harm.

If, as was mentioned above, she was herself hit repeatedly by her mother during childhood - something which CS would presumably have been well aware of - this makes his actions all the more despicable.

I am more concerned that Nigella has a big Fuck-Off gagging order slapped on her by her abusive husband and his ass-licking lawyers, tbh

That is just appalling.

She needs to read this and see how many people think her sad act husband is a total shit.

Even if she does have a gagging order, it is difficult to think of anything that could incriminate him more than the rubbish that has already come out if his mouth.

Having said that, as the victim she is quite entitled not to engage. Although this happened in a public place - if you abuse your wife in the street you can't be surprised when people notice - I don't think we are entitled to blow by blow accounts of what happens next, particularly as the children involved are still quite young.

Eh? What has happened, AF? Has that actually happened?

The children aren't young. They're all teens.

I don't think we'd know, BIWI, if it was the kind that prevents you from even saying there is an injunction.

Here's something that might be positive though. Just read on Twitter that a domestic violence charity (it doesn't say which one) told the World at One that calls to them quadrupled after the photos were published.

I don't think mn are supporting satchi some like me just like to reserve judgement until the facts come out, and in time I'm sure they'll come out, until then i think we could debate about domestic violence in society but this case well if you like a gossip yeah carry on, its not my cup of tea.

Madbuslady Murdoch inquiry need i say more, tabloids can't be trusted, libel doesnt cost the, much it doesnt rewlly hit their coffers hard.

The law will prevail and I'm sure nigella will be forced to speak soon. I'd hate to be in the public eye like she is, I do feel sorry for her. I think the press should leave her alone.

I'd be willing to bet that a significant percentage of women excusing his actions have husbands who use similar expressions of violence. They have to play it down and minimise it because otherwise they'd have to take a harder look at what happens in their own home (and so many just can't psychologically bring themselves to).

There is also certainly another group of women (I have encountered often!) who will always side with men against women, because as far as I can make out, it puts them on the "winning" side. Aligning yourself with the more powerful and gaining their approval (and implied protection) can feel very safe.

Believing that women on the receiving end of violence are somehow "bringing it on themselves" or "doing something to provoke" also gives some women the illusion that they are in control over men's actions towards them. If they behave "right", none of that nasty stuff will happen to them!

justanuthermanicmumsday

The law has fucking prevailed. He has made an admission of being guilt of assault. That's what a caution is.

some like me just like to reserve judgement until the facts come out

What the fuck else are you waiting to come out?

Saatchi has admitted it and accepted a police caution!

What a stupid thing to say.

sorry, BIWI, I have just re-read and it looks like I know it for sure

I don't...it is just my personal opinion

Saatchi is a very powerful man...I think it very much possible though, don't you ?

I wonder if he could actually do that though, given that it's already been all over the papers?

Nigella will not, and should not be "forced to speak"
What the hell kind of comment is that ?

Nigella can keep her own counsel about this until Kingdom Come if she so wishes, as far as I am concerned

Don't know about anybody else, but if your mother is being hounded by the media, I'd put any child still at school and living in the family home in the 'still quite young camp'.

To those arguing that the media wouldn't risk making libelous, sensationalistic accusations... Remember Frankie Boyle.. Esther Ranzen ? The mirror group is no stranger to defamation hence the reason so many people have cautiously reserved judgement.

By thst token - Flat earth news, brilliant book - advised reading for those who blindly believe the heavily embellished bullshit served up to us by the press.

And likewise, I find the braying lynch mob utterly depressing. Individuals who have proffered an open-minded, objective, impartial stance from the outset and have been denigrated and/or labelled a "cunt" by those taking the moral high ground. Would be laughable, if it wasn't so hypocrital. Sometimes I think, rather uncharitably, that some arseholes aren't content with an innocuous explanation, instead preferring to zealously cling to the most scandalous, most opprobrious possibility whilst immediately disregarding anything else. Judge, jury, executioner all in one.

But there isn't an innocuous explanation. The police questioned him and he accepted a caution.

They do not caution you for checking somebody's glands or having a light hearted tiff with your spouse.

Another apologist, I see.