We encourage children in our cafe BUT

[childfriendlycafeowner]

I hope you don't mind us asking any readers for their opinion on child behaviour in public places.

We run a small cafe in a small town, and we love doing it (opened up 4 months ago). The previous owners did not encourage children and families, we do, we bought high chairs and do what we can to make families feel welcome. But today two girls came in with a baby and a toddler, my guess is the toddler was 2. From the moment she arrived the screamed, not crying because she was upset but screaming because I guess she liked the sound of her own voice. We made comments to the mum in the hope she would take the hint that the child was disturbing all the other customers but her comment was "she is a little tinker isn't she" The other customers threw their food and drinks down their necks and left as quickly as they could, some complaining as they left. She did go quiet for a little while but she was screaming for probably at least half of the 1 hour plus that she was in the cafe.

When the lady came to pay we said to the lady that we are very sorry but unless she can stop her little girl disturbing all our other customers and driving them away perhaps she could sit in our outside seating area with her or not come in. We felt terrible to say this but it really was a terrible din that upset many people.

Are we being reasonable or unreasonable. Would you tolerate your child no matter how young being so disruptive to other people in public

I wouldn't just grumble- I would avoid- a small town doesn't mean you put up with everything! In my experience small towns have lots of charity shops and lots of coffee shops. If there was only one I would go home!

Yes...you're lying. Or rather, embellishing for effect.
You wouldn't boycott a local cafe because on one visit, someone had a screechy kid.

PMSL, so you've known me personally and IRL the past 6 years in this dinky town with less than 10000 people so this is a fact, or I'm a liar.

BANG goes your credibility!

'I disagree with you, so you must be a liar.'

0/10.

There are two cafes we have never been in again, and they are thin on the ground here. One of those had a kid like it the OP's 'customer' in there. Once.

Haven't been back since.

I don't think we realy know what the child was doing OP says "probably at least half of the hour she was there" which could mean anything also OP states "eventually she did go quiet for a little while". What is not alluded to is when in this sequence of events the order was taken or how quickly the food arrived.

Try this scenario woman with toddler lets call her A arrives to meet woman with younger baby B at 12:30pm for lunch. The toddler usually eats at 12 but B is finding it diffcult to get out of the house so had suggested 1pm.12:30 is a compromise. B is late so A orders a coffee while she waits. Toddler is hungry. B arrives at 12:45 peak lunchtime for the cafe, she sends the waitress away cos she ccan't decide. Their order is finally taken at 1:10pm an hour and 10 minutes after toddler's lunchtime.IIt's busy so the food only arrives at 1:30pm by which time the toddler has gone beyond hungry and is being disruptive. A throws the food down her neck, pays the bill and leaves, on the way out the cafe owner tells her if she can't keep her toddler quiet she should have come.

TBH over an hour seems a very long time. I suspect the service was slow or they would have been out of there much quicker.

Agree with others either you are child friendly (super quick service) or you''re not I suspect the later.

Nope, not a liar Pictish. However, if it pleases you to be factually incorrect then go ahead. As I said, if the parents weren't doing anything about it, and the parent was just shrugging their shoulder then I would wonder what else they would tolerate and I would think twice about going. Honest, truly, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.

I don't know how you speak for us all pictish.

I go into cafes all the time. Most of them have children in them. I have met my parents for coffee for in the same cafe for about 5 years, there are TONs of children there, rarely, if ever do I hear children screaming in the way described in the OP. Of course they don't have to choose. A few parents are selfish and don't control their children. They don't care if that impacts on other people I wouldn't them returning if I had a cafe. Most parents aren't like this at all.

No you wouldn't.

I know I'm annoying you all now, but you're saying stuff you don't mean, for the purpose of illustrating a point on this thread.

People do not boycott local cafes because they didn't like a customer once.

Second parent in that should have been owner - if that makes sense!

Yes I would.

'I know I'm annoying you all now, but you're saying stuff you don't mean, for the purpose of illustrating a point on this thread.

People do not boycott local cafes because they didn't like a customer once.'

No, actually, it's pathetic, to assert again and again that because you don't agree with what a poster is saying, they are lying.

People can and do boycott cafes, restaurants, pubs that have shite customers in them. In small towns, in lots of places.

Come on OP how quickly did you get this toddler's food out and how long after did the mother leave ?

And you're not Pictish???

How do you know that this woman's friends don't ALL find her Dd very screamy and also find it annoying! The fact that she didn't apologise to the cafe owner for the noise shows that she didn't see anything wrong with it at all. Some parents are selfish like that.

If the cafe is otherwise acceptable, and there just happened to be a screechy annoying kid in there once, you would go back.

Get sarky and defensive about that as is your want...but you would.

I agree - some parents are complete arseholes, but encountering one in good local cafe on one occasion, would not put you off going back.

No I wouldn't.

You can say I would for as long as you like, but I wouldn't if I felt that the owner didn't give a shit what the customers were doing.

I don't go back to cafes for all sorts of reasons- maybe people would call them silly but I do have choice! I am quite happy to be in cafes with children- I just expect the parent to impose appropriate behaviour and remove if they can't.

So do I exotic.

And if the parent doesn't do either I would expect the cafe owner would say something.

Sorry, pictish, I usually agree with you, but I can also honestly say that I have not returned to a specific cafe where I live following an occasion where the staff did nothing about children running around, almost tripping up an OAP in the process, or screaming. I found it hugely annoying and decided not to risk it again.

Just saying that they are not necessarily doing themselves any harm by putting off one selfish customer that seemed to show no awareness of how irritating her Dc's behaviour was to others. Not a great loss!

Pictish, you are right.
But this is Mumsnet, so you are wrong!
Meanwhile, back in the real world..

Most people are able to overlook one unpleasant encounter with a loud toddler, if the cafe is otherwise acceptable. Even if it really annoyed them at the time.