to be sick of the inverse snobbery about Grammar Schools?

[MummaEss]

I live in an area which still uses a Grammar School system. I understand that the system is highly controversial to some people and I do not start this thread with the intention of it turning into a heated debate about the pro's and con's of said system.

My issue is that having a daughter who attends the local High School, I am often left feeling almost embarrassed and apologetic about this fact when talking to people who's children attend a Secondary School. So often when I talk to other mothers about schools, the minute they find out that my daughter attends a Grammar, I get a long speil about how Grammar Schools are hothouses and put too much pressure on the kids, the fact they are often single sex will leave the kids socially awkward, the rumours of Grammar kids who 'burn out' or go off the rails etc etc etc. This is then followed by raving reports of how amazing the Secondary is and how fabulously their offspring are doing. These are often (but not always) the same people who eagerly looked round the Grammars before their children took the test.

Now don't get me wrong, we are indeed lucky to have some very good Secondary schools in my area. I myself passed my 12 plus many years ago and opted for the Secondary over the High School as I felt it suited me better. I do not think either type of school is better than the other, just that both suit different children.

If I were to turn the tables and slate the Secondary schools to a mum who's child attends and then rave about how superior the Grammar School that my daughter attends is and how well she is doing, I would be branded a horrendous, arrogant snob and rightly so.

Soooo aibu to expect a bit more tact and less venom from non Grammar Mums?

I would just keep out of all discussion- smile, nod, ignore.

People are too polite- they always feel they have to explain and justify when really there is no need. Just say vaguely 'it suits my DD' and change the subject.

Sorry if my posts have been confusing. In my area the girls Grammar is know as a High School.

Why should Grammar mums be smug?

I am slightly suspicious that you started this to cause a bunfight, personally.

landofhopeandglory - when I took DS to see our local state high school he was in a blazer and tie. He had come straight from school, this is his uniform. One of the teachers said "why are you looking here, you clearing go private and want private". I couldn't believe it - she made that judgement just by looking at his uniform, which is a state school uniform anyway!

It was bound to start a bunfight.

Totally agree with op, all my three go to single sex grammar schools and some of the stuff people say about those schools is ridiculous.

Call it inverted snobbery or sour grapes, it does exist, but these are probably the same people who would give their right arm to have one of their dcs attend grammar school.

I've learnt to have an inward chuckle and smug smile because of one reason...jealousy.

Grammar school kids are in an elite club and their dcs aren't, simples!!

That was a spectacularly smug post, fifty.

Well done.

I went to Grammar school and never thought of myself as in an elite club. Things must have changed a lot.

YUNBU they're being ignorant and pretty obnoxious.

Portofino, no absolutely not. Like I said the secondaries here are fab. I would have been more than happy for my kids to go there. I went to one myself and did well.

I just hate being made to feel guilty that my child is at a Grammar. It is just a school. They all take the same exams at the end of the day, but because it is selective people think they can slate it. I think its unreasonable, thats all.

Why should you feel guilty? It wasn't you that passed the exam.

Grammar schools are only the best for the kids that they're designed for. High schools / secondary moderns are the best for those that aren't all about the academia and university. If there was a grammar option here I would not want my boys to go as they've a more vocational bent, whereas my niece is hugely clever and would do better at a grammar.

Only the parents seem to bother with the snobbery & reverse snobbery!

From MN you would not imagine that there are very few grammar schools left in the country, and they are irrelevant to most DCs!

Usual, the op posted about being fed up of the inverted snobbery against grammar schl kids and their parents, but grammar school parents can't be openly pleased about our dcs achievement?

If we show some pride about the school or the dcs we're called smug but other parents can be vocal?

Not exactly fair

Well, it would be a bit pointless if the majority of posters, ie those who don't have grammar schools, posted, and a bit boring.

Yabu. A lot of people consider the Grammar school system to be a bag of wank.

Why is it wank property?

Wank? because from experience your dcs go to a grammar?

exotic I know, it's such a non-issue where I live

MammaMedusa, DS2 wears a blazer and tie as a school uniform. These children were not in school uniform, I am able to tell the difference.

YANBU. It's wrong that selection in this country is nearly always by money. I think selection by ability is a good thing, and I'd like to see grammar schools reintroduced in all areas.

It's a myth that a bright child will do well anywhere. OFSTED has said very recently that schools failing the brightest students is an issue of national concern.

www.guardian.co.uk/education/2013/jun/13/state-schools-pupils-ofsted-chief

www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/schools-are-failing-brightest-pupils-more-than-40-of-comprehensive-schools-are-not-challenging-the-most-able-ofsted-warns-8656266.html

I failed the 11+ and went to a comprehensive and did well. I've got no issue with it either way.

If my area had grammars, I'd let my DCs have a go at the 11+ if I thought they had a good chance.

It's a shame there isn't the choice in more areas. Where the system failed in the past was under funding and under valuing the secondary moderns. Socially schools get polarised to parental wealth and catchment to some extent- not many are genuinely comprehensive with a true balance of ability.

The grammar/ secondary modern system stinks. Its is very dividive by its nature. It very public labels primary school children into the bright and frankly the not so bright. No one likes to see their child get rejected from a school at a young age because they aren't deemed good enough. Rejection by postcode is less personal.

The worse thing is that grammar schools work against bright working class children whose parents cannot afford the tutoring. Consersely a middle ablity child from a wealthy family may well be tutored to death to get into a grammar and not be able to keep up without more tutoring. It is not easy to transfer the thick hothoused kid to the secondary modern or the bright EAL child to the grammar.

I am glad that my son is going to a comprehensive where teaching is tailored to the child's needs. There is good provision for gifted and talented children as well as those with special needs.

I would like ablity banding to ensure that comprehensives all get their fair share of high, middle and low ablity children. Our nearest comp does not have enough bright children to run a decent top set.