AIBU to think people should put money away for DCs or have a 'college fund'?

[williaminajetfighter]

As it says in the title, is it unreasonable to think people should try to put money away for DCs or have some kind of 'college fund'?

Reason I'm asking is that I was on a thread yesterday where I said I thought it made sense as my parents really drilled this idea into me and I was pretty much laughed at. (My parents told me to wait to have kids until I had some disposable income then ensure I put that disposable income away into DC's savings).

I KNOW that not everyone can afford to put money away and many, many people are incredibly stretched. But am I so wrong in thinking that this is a good idea or is this another middle-class platitude that people laugh at?

I grew up in N America by the way where College costs an absolute fortune and many people start funds early on. It's the only way to be able to afford $40k p.a. tuition fees/living costs. Of course not all DC may want to go to college, but it's good if they had the option. And University aint free in this country any more ('cept Scotland).

But am I enforcing my american assumptions onto british mums? thoughts?

it is a good idea. unfortunately people are living day by day week by week in these times and savings are not possible.

That would mean education is only for the wealthy.

Yabu to think parents must or have to put money away for their children.

If they can afford it then it is a nice thing to do, its not mandatory or essential.however, its a nice bonus if you can do it.

Good idea, if you have the money to allow you to do it.

Most people I know are paying off debts rather than building savings! Plus paying lots and lots of tax which used to be how university was funded of course...

People already have to contribute to their children's education if they go to uni, based on their income. If you mean living expenses - it is generally expected that the kids will get a job and buy their own pot noodles!

Re general saving up for your kids- imo people should put away for their retirement before they put away for their kids lives!

Assuming, as you say, that they have the money.

many people live hand to mouth with not even a spare pound to put away.

But I think, where possible, your own old age must take priority over a deposit on a house for your kids or something. We must all make our own way in this world and pay our way too!

I would not like to see it become commonly expected that you have to finance your kids through their life. What's wrong with working and paying your own way?

I think it is slightly different here (culture wise), many parents are of the generation which got grants. Realistically there needs to be money now for higher education, although students can get loans and pay back when they are earning.

Added to this not all want higher education straight from school, I have relatives who worked then their employers paid for their degrees and post grad qualifications. There are lots of options out there.

We make investments where we can, with this in mind, but have not ear-marked the money IYSWIM.

The obvious problem is that not everyone has spare income.

The other issue is that in the U.S. it's known from the time even before the baby is born that they will need financial help for college/university. In this country the goal posts are being moved all the time.

I went to university at a time when full grants were available. By the end of my course they were being frozen. Then the tuition fees came in at up to £3k. Now they're up to £9k.

It's difficult to plan when you have no idea what's going to happen next.

I think YABU to use the word "should", as, as you say in your OP, a lot of people can't afford to.
Personally, I think it's always a good idea to be in the habit of saving, but I don't have a particular focus on it being for 3 x college funds anymore than any other purpose it might be needed for.
You could argue it's far better to pay down other debts - eg mortgage - rather than keep a long mortgage on which you are paying interest, whilst trying to save at the same time.
Then a lot of families would argue that it's better to invest in giving your children the best education or the best extra curricula opportunities whilst they are your responsibility, and let them take out student loans if they choose to go to college.
Or others will choose not to WOTH when they have children, believeing that gives their children the best start in life, even if it means reduced income.
Your argument is just one option of many.

I'm American too and I think it's normal. It's one thing if you don't have the cash and can't do it but I've been similarly surprised by how many Brits don't agree with the concept itself. I've assumed it's because until recently uni didn't cost very much and there were good student loan programs.

I hope at some point we will have enough money to start saving for DS (he's only 3), even if he doesn't go to uni he can use the money to start his adult life.

Yes. I grew up in Ireland so am used to a system of having to pay (astronomically large) fees up front.
Tbh, the system in the U.K. whereby you pay back the fees later over your working life still equates to "free" education to me, by comparison.

We put money away for the DC's each month. We are very lucky to be able to afford this and as we live in Scotland (if uni is still free when they go) the money will be used for uni accomodation, expenses, first cars, weddings, help with first homes etc.

Sadly too many people live hand to mouth and this is not possible for everyone :-(

I don't think it's about funding your kids throughout their life, just giving them a good start as they leave the family home, whether it's for school or work.

I'll also encourage DS to save up his own money when he's old enough to work as a teenager.

Interest rates are currently pants.... makes much more sense to pay down any debt or mortgage -

but we save the child benefit for them.... well we save it, not necessarily FOR them, who knows what emergencies the future may bring, but it is kept with that in mind....

I think its a nice idea but in reality i know most of the people i know wouldnt be able to afford to do this. They ate not on the breadline but other things come first eg bills/car breaks down/washer blows up. There is hardly anyone i know who has 'spare' money of any great amount.
I also believe children should fund themselves through university, i had to. My parents were not poor enough for me to go free, and not rich enough to pay for it, so i got a loan and worked 2 jobs. They helped me out eg buying the od textbook / buying me a laptop at the start, but i was basically told "go for it if its what you want, you will have to work, we will help where we can" which i think is fair enough. At the end of the day you are an adult at 18, i looked at costs and couldnt justify paying rent etc so went to my local uni and stayed at home. My parents didnt expect 'board' as i was in education but i had to pay for my own stuff.
I think too many children are overly financed by their parents, which is only putting off growing up tbh. If and when i have kids i wont be saving for years for them to go to uni, i will spend on them growing up etc and if they want to go they can get a loan like the rest of the world has to.

Nice idea, but I'm still paying off my own uni debt...
We also only have a couple of hundred pounds for food a month after paying bills so just not going to happen at the moment.

Personally I'd prefer to have the money saved for the DC's to put down a deposit on their own home. I think long term this will probably more of a stability and boost than education fees.

I always assumed my DC would pay their own way through uni and work at the same time - this is what is expected for the majority of the country as most parents cannot afford the full university fees. I am also biased as I have always worked alongside studying, to help pay the course fees and earn a wage.

If the dc know how to budget etc then there is no need to help fund them through uni the loans can cover it. Parents are not obliged to assist and not having savings does not stop dc going to uni which is a big difference to the american system. Yes it would be nice but its not essential.

Got to save up a deposit for a house for us first!

We live in Scotland but we are doing this, I agree OP. I think people over the age of 40 haven't had it forcibly drilled into them how expensive uni is nowadays. I did 4 years in London (from 2000-2004) and my loan was £25k! Nearly paid off now, but still.

Also, students working during term is detrimental to outcome I believe and is not allowed at some places such as Oxford or some courses such as medicine. I was very lucky I didn't need to work, got a first and am doing well now so want to save so my DC get the same chance.

Obviously some people can't, fair enough. But if you have spare cash I don't know why you wouldn't. I put 100 aside each month each.

In answer to your thread title, YABU

In answer to your question in your post about whether you are unreasonable to think its a good idea to save, YANBU.

But then, lots of things are good ideas aren't they?

Jacks the loans do NOT cover full costs including rent. Parents are expected to contribute.

I think the culture in this country will shift to be more like that in America, but it will take time. I lived in America for a few years as a child (6-10) and every little thing (birthday, good test result etc) resulted in a few dollars in the college fund from a range of family members. It was just viewed as another 'bill' that had to be paid: water, electric, college.....

But that was 12 or so years ago and the fact that TV show is now being broadcast makes me think maybe even more people cannot afford to save for their child's education.

I've always saved. From my very first wage onwards. Sometimes it was only a couple of quid a week (that went into an old Smirnoff bottle), now it's a lot more. When I got promoted I put the extra money aside - I was used to not having it, so I didn't miss it.

When I had DD I started saving the CB too.

With that, and with some good fortune I've got enough for a large deposit on the first house, and the DD fund is steadily improving. Hopefully she will have enough at 18 to fund Uni or another large purchase. I think it's a very sensible idea to save as much as you can whenever you can. You never know when you might need it.

YANBU. I'm a single parent on a low income and I put money into an account for ds every month as a priority. Some months it's only £10 but it'll add up over 18 years. I also have a birthday/Christmas fund and a school fund. I've been saving for his school uniform for 2 years and the rest will go towards future school trips.
There's no way I could pay for any of these things outright so saving is the only way I can assure he won't go without.