AIBU to think people should put money away for DCs or have a 'college fund'?

[williaminajetfighter]

As it says in the title, is it unreasonable to think people should try to put money away for DCs or have some kind of 'college fund'?

Reason I'm asking is that I was on a thread yesterday where I said I thought it made sense as my parents really drilled this idea into me and I was pretty much laughed at. (My parents told me to wait to have kids until I had some disposable income then ensure I put that disposable income away into DC's savings).

I KNOW that not everyone can afford to put money away and many, many people are incredibly stretched. But am I so wrong in thinking that this is a good idea or is this another middle-class platitude that people laugh at?

I grew up in N America by the way where College costs an absolute fortune and many people start funds early on. It's the only way to be able to afford $40k p.a. tuition fees/living costs. Of course not all DC may want to go to college, but it's good if they had the option. And University aint free in this country any more ('cept Scotland).

But am I enforcing my american assumptions onto british mums? thoughts?

I won't be buying him his " first car" though! Particularly as I havnt had my first car yet..

DH & I do this since DD was born nearly 2 years ago. We're lucky we can just put aside her child benefit into a child ISA, plus money she's given as gifts throughout the year. DH & I both got grants for uni. We're both in agreement neither of us would've been able to afford uni if we were students now (both come from working class households). DD should have 18k by the time she's 18. Am hoping they'll see her through her education.

I wish the Government could see the tragedies of fee paying. DH & I prove social mobility exists when given help. God knows what we'd be doing if I couldn't have gone to uni (& the world would be down 2 highly qualified teachers).

Sorry about typo's - on iPhone with no glasses on!

I have mixed feelings about this. I grew up in a reasonably poor household - we never went 'without' but we never had luxuries like holidays abroad, or playstations or that sort of thing.

I chose to go into higher education later in life. If I'd gone into it in my late teens/early 20's I would have had to fund myself by working as the income my parents brought in covered the rent, the bills and food.

Obviously if you can afford to put money aside, that's a good thing, but then again, it shouldn't be expected that parents WILL financially provide for their children with regard to higher/further education (or other expenses like house deposits).

The problem is that education should be, and is not free.

We are saving for dd and already I think she's got about 15k in her account. I realise we're lucky to be able to this for her. She's 12yo now so by the time she possibly wants to go to uni there should be a bit more.

We staretd saving when I was pregnant and have added bits as and when we can. I think dh puts £50 a month in there at the minute. MIL puts £100 in every Xmas and birthday.

However I don't want her to use it for living costs at uni. She'll never have a lump sum like this again. I'd prefer that she took a student loan out, we help her out with living costs, she gets a p/t job, etc.

I'd like her to have that money for a house deposit when she leaves uni.

That is how I feel about the money that we are saving for our dc, Viva. I would far rather see it used towards a house deposit.

Why does it matter whether the money goes on a house or uni costs? (Provided it isn't all going to the student union bar )Yes it is wonderful to have a house deposit readily available. But if someone has no debt after uni, then they can begin to save immediately and build up savings quite quickly. Starting 'adult' life post-uni with no debt is also a tremendously positive thing.

Realistically unless you are a high earner (and so have personal savings on top of those for your child), or your family are, having more than 8k will cut you out of the benefit system, which could be a problem for most "ordinary" people.

When my DH became ill, we had to use our savings up, until we could claim any help. We lost out on the mis-selling of policies.

It is usually illness, or accident that cause those on a decent wage to have to rethink everything.

I know many people who have to sign on inbetween qualifying and getting the job that they have studied for, having enough savings for a house deposit, would stop them from being able to do that.

I think that you are lucky if you can start to plan from birth, but i would say that more cannot, than can. We have had numerous pension scandals etc.

The thing is, this is happening, the end of free uni. So, people like me can either open trust funds for their kids ( I dont think trust funds affect parental benefits- I hope not!)so that they are in with the same chances as their richer friends, or we can ignore it and the poorer kids will shoulder the massive debts later, for years and years to come. Of course its not fair. I think uni should be free, and very hard to get into, but as it is I think that if you refuse to contemplate the idea of at least trying to help pay for it, then the social mobility of kids like ds ( line parent family, low income etc)will be even worse.

YABU when you say should. Its a sensible idea of course but not everyone has the money.

Also I think perhaps there is a cultural difference in that many (most?)of us Brits see free education as much more of a right and don't like to let that concept go.

I think fewer kids should go to university. Many of us have been misled into believing we would earn more for having a degree. Most of my DDs friends who have graduated in the past few years are either unemployed or in low paid jobs. None of them have any chance of repaying their loans. The system is a mess.

Realistically, how many people can afford to save £50,000 per child to pay for higher education. Most people are lucky just to cover their bills each month. Better to encourage teenagers to get work experience and decide if they actually need to go to university and get into debt.

Birds, it really is a shitty set up when the govt penalises you for saving and that you can't get support until you show that you're penniless.

The whole premise of paying tax and NI is that everyone should have equal access to help when they need it. It is not like that at all which is partially why people are getting fed up with 'the system'.

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

DD has declared today I should buy her a car and pay for her driving lessons when she's 17.

Let's see: education thru Uni, wheels and housing. Is there anything she's supposed to do for herself?

Nice try lijk DD.

Eldest Dss is 17 soon. I think he is expecting the same.

he will be v disappointed

Ill pay for my children to learn to drive, if we can afford it. I can't drive and its a real barrier. I'd like to learn myself first of course!

bue - The reason it makes sense to put any save / won / inherited money towards a house deposit rather than university fees is because, if you don't earn above the threshold, (around £21K) or if you have a few years out of work through choosing to be a SAHP, or through illness or some other circumstances, then you don't continue paying back your student loans, but you would still have to be paying your mortgage, or any other loans.

Our ds is 17 tomorrow. He's getting a voucher I made for 10 driving lessons, to be redeemed when he has saved up enough money for the other lessons, the test, the licence, etc. I think being able to drive is a really important thing, but he also has to understand that he can't fritter away all his earnings on gigs, etc., and expect other things that are expensive - such as dr lessons - to just be there waiting for him.

Going onto benefits due to job loss or disablity will wipe out any savings, even if its in the child's name. ANY savings. We were saving ds's DLA once to get a powerchair. Its his DLA. His. DH lost his job for a few months and they counted that few grand as savings even though that money had been paid to ds for his disability equipment and was being saved for a large and expensive peice of equipment.
So put your child's university money in a sock

We are trying to buffer ourselves financially as best we can by paying off the mortgage faster than expected, we're less than 2 years from that so then we can start thinking about the best way to save for whatever the future brings, be that university or anything else.

I never intend to have a pot of money thought of as 'university money' but we did intentionally have a 4 year age gap between the two children to reduce the likelihood of them being at university at the same time.

My grandparents gave the children some pocket money which over the years I've saved, as my now late grandfather was absolutely into cars and the figure is about right we have nominally designated it as 'learning to drive' money as that is a life skill that seems harder to gain if you don't go for it young.

I do think the whole process of education is undergoing a huge change though, if you look at things like www.coursera.org/ where you can access free university level courses, I think online education will boom and fees for that will be much lower as it will be international. I think far fewer young people will be going away to university, more will stay at home, work and study.

Great if you can afford it but no reason to feel people are wrong if they can't.

Also - all this talk of it being normal for the US - well there are vast amounts of people who will never be able to afford to save in the US - would rather have a system that is the polar opposite to the US for that reason. The same with the health service - people dying as they don't have enough money or can't afford the right insurance - a fucking disgrace.

Yabu.

University is a choice not a necessity and one that those to choose to go should pay themselves,as debts are now mandatory.

I went to university,graduated in 2010 and then did an eye wateringly expensive post graduate course. I wouldn't dream of asking my parents to pay it off for me. I'm not exactly rolling in cash either.

Yabu. If your children really want that further education then they should be prepared to pay for it themselves. I had to pay for my own degree, which mean i actually went to work hard and gain it, not muck around and drink myself into a state every night like a lot of friends whose parents footed the bill did.
My dcousin happily took money from her parents for her degree and now royally looks down her nose at them because they are not educated enough. It just strikes me that in some cases the more you do for your children the less they understand the value of what they have. It's good for a person to have to budget, struggle and make ends meet, and the best time to learn life isn't easy is when you are young and robust.
I honestly believe that if a few more politicians had had to pay their way in the same way I did then they'd have more respect, empathy and understanding for the people they govern!

but maddening we don't have much control over the 'system' and how it's changing so while we can hope it's not going to be as it is in the US it may very well change in a way that we don't like.

I'm not from the US but from Canada (sigh - it's a different county, really). However I think one of the differences though between UK and N American culture is that in the UK one could easily be a school leaver at 16 which was quite normal and thus 16, max 18 kids are considered adults. There's much more a feeling here of a 'cut off' point and a point at which kids no longer get parental support. Not so much in N America - 18year olds are still in high school, living at home. Some don't start Univ til 19 or 20 (unlike 17 here..) and parents tend to support for much longer. That said if Univ was free over here then it was easier to push the bird out of the nest and hope it would fly....