AIBU to think people should put money away for DCs or have a 'college fund'?

[williaminajetfighter]

As it says in the title, is it unreasonable to think people should try to put money away for DCs or have some kind of 'college fund'?

Reason I'm asking is that I was on a thread yesterday where I said I thought it made sense as my parents really drilled this idea into me and I was pretty much laughed at. (My parents told me to wait to have kids until I had some disposable income then ensure I put that disposable income away into DC's savings).

I KNOW that not everyone can afford to put money away and many, many people are incredibly stretched. But am I so wrong in thinking that this is a good idea or is this another middle-class platitude that people laugh at?

I grew up in N America by the way where College costs an absolute fortune and many people start funds early on. It's the only way to be able to afford $40k p.a. tuition fees/living costs. Of course not all DC may want to go to college, but it's good if they had the option. And University aint free in this country any more ('cept Scotland).

But am I enforcing my american assumptions onto british mums? thoughts?

I think it's a cultural thing. And, as other posters have said, in the USA you know when you have a baby that you need to save for their college fund. Traditionally, in England you stood on your own two feet at 18. I went to uni when it was free - it never occurred to me that my parents would contribute a penny. I got free tuition and did bar work to feed myself.

I'm now mid 40s and eldest DD went to uni on tuition of £3,500 per annum. She got a student loan. We were never going to be able to contribute anything with 4 younger siblings at home. And wouldn't have done if we could have afforded it, I don't think. To us, 18 is an adult. If you want to go to uni, you have to fund it. Or you get a job. Either way, I don't think it is good for either parents to feel they ought to be supporting adult offspring, or for over 18s to continue in a 'teenage child' role expecting their parents to keep financing them.

We have no spare money each month, barely keep a roof over our head. But I have brought my DCs up to value hard work and self sufficiency and to appreciate that if you want things in life then you need to make sacrifices. None of them are expecting anything to be handed to them on a plate, nor do they take things for granted. It would not occur to any of them that DH and I would be able to keep paying for anything for them once they had left home.

que?
in the US the loans are directly with the government
all uncollectable $100,000,000,000.00
of them
we in the UK hear about the private colleges - most US kids go to the state colleges

Even in the days of grants there were parental contributions. We were lucky because our two eldest DCs went to University at the same time and we were only required to pay one contribution.
Way back, my father was expected to make a contribution too. It was all means tested, so my friend's father paid nothing. When we went though you did not 'come of age' until you were 21.

No spare money for savings here for the dds who are now in their 20s, unemployed and will have to fund themselves via loans with some help from us.if we had been able to, we would have put money away, but it was just never possible

I know you are posting because of your US background. From my perspective, I feel the same way but it's driven by a real feeling of generational inequality. I had a free university education (and yes I am old) at a time when a university education was more valuable because such a small percentage of the population could have one.

It means that I now earn a lot of money that I would not have without it. So yes, I save for my DCs so that they can have a free university education and free professional training. I have done so since they were born and now that they are 13 and 15 I am most of the way there. I feel that it's only fair.

I'm old. My dad is terrible with money and he went bankrupt when I was 17. I went off to uni on a full grant two years later. In my second year at university I went to the US on a student exchange programme. Chatting to someone, I mentioned the bankruptcy. She looked at me strangely and asked how I could possibly afford an expensive university like mine if my father was bankrupt. Until that moment it had never occurred to me that my father's financial idiocy shenanigans would permanently affect my life chances in that way, nor had I ever thought that my choice of course or institution would be in any way a financial decision. I guess I got educated.

I do save for ds, we have one child and it would be daft not to. We don't have the income to save for him to go somewhere seriously expensive like Harvard. I'm glad that at the moment, the true 'private' universities in the UK have special purposes (Aston and the Open University) and that the financial playing field is still reasonably level, even if a lot harder to reach than it used to be.

I think you're being reasonable to a point. I'm only having as many children as I can afford to put through college and university.

I'm Canadian not American. Most higher education in the 'west' costs...

I'm 37 and as yet don't have any disposable income and a young family.

When I do (If I ever do) should I put my money into ownership of property, extra-curricular activities for the kids, private tutoring, a pension fund for me, a gym membership to try and improve my health, a sky subscription, into running a car so I can get my 3 children to swimming lessons etc., a college fund, or other?

williaminajetfighter I doubt very much that the government will remove all support for students within our children's lives.

The SLC will evolve.. but I'm confident that support for students will be there, if only for fees.

I also think that kids should earn their own money where possible, and from as young an age as possible.
I'm not talking chimneys or owt, but, say, reviewing apps, paper rounds, lemonade stalls and so on. Babysitting when older....

My two love doing lemonade stalls, it's fun, and they get a few quid for day trips and whatnot. Most importantly, though, they will (hopefully) realise that money doesn't just magically appear.

Agree with what Wuldric is saying as well, though. I think my generation ....the last to get grants.....should be wary of pulling up the ladder behind us. We are already thinking about university costs (DS is six, DD four) and what to do if they both go to uni.

It seems like we're being forced to pull up that ladder, but we'll certainly try to resist. Teaching our two about earning early is part of this plan, really. We'll have to pull together.

'Traditionally, in England you stood on your own two feet at 18. I went to uni when it was free - it never occurred to me that my parents would contribute a penny. I got free tuition and did bar work to feed myself. '

You mean you stood on the tax-payer's two feet. It was never really 'free' to go to university. The US has historically had lower taxation, which is why their state never really paid for people as our state used to.

Oh, and I speak as someone who also benefited from the tax-payer funding my university education. But when I went, only 15% of the population had a university education.

There will need to be a cultural shift, we still think of education as independent to parents post 18. While I'm sure there will be some financial help for dcs from the poorest households when my now preschool dcs are old enough to go, families like ours who earn enough that we could save will be expected to have done so.

Saying "they'll have to get a job" really assumes they'll be going to uni in a boom, a lot of us early 30's did just that, so think in terms of finding bar or shop work easy to do. Students going this year will struggle. Plus some unis and some courses don't allow term time working, I want dcs to be limited only by their ambition and ability, not by financials (and I'm sure by the time they are going we'll see very different prices for different unis)

I dont like the idea of children being dependant on parents post 18 because it really does create more of a divide between the have and the have nots. Student loans and grants do allow the poorest to go to university. Once they are adults, no-one should 'expect' parental support.

Allegra I honestly think the student loans company will only exist and be available for the lowest earning 20-30%.

I say that as a friend currently works there, says its a shambles, very few pay back, just a huge black hole. Not sustainable.

I'm going to try start saving for the DC once we stop paying nursery fees. Realistically I'm expecting to support them at university or in young adulthood out of income - our mortgage should be paid off by the time DS1 is 16 which then frees up cash for first cars, uni or unpaid internships.

I started uni in 2000 at the start of the tuition fees and loans regime. My dad wouldn't fill out the forms as he didnt want to reveal his income so I got the minimum loan which was substantially less than my rent, let alone any living expenses. I got by through a variety of part time jobs, at times juggling two or three jobs at the same time. I'm sure it affected my studies and at times it was utterly miserable. I came out of uni utterly broke so it was impossible to take an unpaid internship which would have helped my career path.

I will do anything (legal) to avoid my DC struggling through uni like I did. I would encourage them to have holiday jobs to earn their 'fun' money, but I fully expect to sacrifice some of my standard of living to make sure that they can enjoy uni rather than struggling.

Most student loans and grants are not paid back because the students who take them up cannot afford to complete their courses on that alone and subsequently become low/non-earners.

I am saving up for their house deposits but not for uni as thats what student loans are for.

ha!

i saved with the idea of covering the £3k pa costs. then when my dd was 14 or 15, this figure tripled overnight. i then stopped. dd1 is taking full loans. i am keeping any extra cash i can find for other stuff like learning to drive, buying a car, deposit on a house. basic maths shows that most will not pay back the loan in full.

Ds was lucky enough to get £25O at birth from the govmt at birth, which I put into a trust fund and pay a % of my income into. If he wants to study at 18, he won't have enough to pay for all if it, but should have a good chunk.
If I made more money, I would cover his fees. I think patents saying " after they are 18 they should stand on their own two feet" are being unfair. I had loans, but my fees were paid. I won't be paying off my student loans at 45, but this next generation will be, and if there us anything i can do to help my kid avoid that, i will.

I would like to support my children as young adults. They are going to have to support me as an elder, so it's only fair.

We put £100 a month of the Child Benefit into an ISA. Some months we really need it but have learned to just live without it and not count it as income.
It probably would be better spent on the mortgage as interest rates are so crap but I NEED to know that I am putting that money away for my boys.

A student loan will cover dds fees and she has two options for her living costs (1) work to pay for them.or (2) live at home.

Im.not scrimping all through her childhood missing out memories such as family holidays, trips out and other costly activities to save for something she may not want to do anyways.