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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was a waste of police time?

212 replies

FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 12:29

At 10pm last night I answered the door to a police officer. He asked about my car, and whether I and it had been at a particular gym earlier in the week. We had. While there I committed an offence.

I made a mistake parking and scraped the plastic bumper of the car next to me. I did not report this. The policeman was off duty in the carpark and witnessed the offence. He took our number plates and went to visit the owner of the other car. She was unaware of the damage, but upon inspection there is indeed scuffing to the bumper.

This in now in the hands of our insurance companies. Was it really worth the police persuing this? No charges are being brought. I did something wrong, but we live in a congested city. My own car is covered in scuffs that have not (all) been caused by me. Should a scuffed bumper be seen more as part of the give and take of city living rather than a potentially criminal matter?

OP posts:
Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 17:34

I have some support at last! He wasn't off duty when he came round, just when he witnessed the offence. The police are not usually as amazingly efficient here, I assure you limitedperiodonly.

Obviously I have no choice but to suck it up. But I am complaining about it a lot.

OP posts:
EmmelineGoulden · 14/06/2013 17:39

A scratched bumper doesn't need replacing Stay. At least not what I consider to be a scratch.

StayAwayFromTheEdge · 14/06/2013 17:43

And that is where we have to disagree Emme - I like my car to be clean, polished and scratch free.

limitedperiodonly · 14/06/2013 17:44

Whoa there! It's not unqualified support, OP.

I need to make that clear because I have a need to make people like me even if they don't know me Wink

I'd never park next to someone with a beaten up car but I've no control whether they park next to me so I tend to be quite sanguine about it.

For that reason, I've never chosen a car with self-coloured bumpers. And I do come from Essex.

50shadesofpink · 14/06/2013 17:50

It's absolutely not a waste of police time! You hit someone's car and didn't report it. I would have left a note even if damage wasn't obvious at the time. Did you even get out of your vehicle and look to see if any damage was caused? If not YAwevenmoreU.

I was involved in an accident this week. I had my young DC with me and I was stopped at the zebra crossing giving way to young school children when someone smashed in to the back of me. He then sped off after lying that he was about to pull over!! Unlucky for that scumbag his number plate fell off right behind my car and I was able to report him to the police! He has left me injured and my child a nervous wreck to be in a car!

Anyone that leaves the scene if an accident however minor is breaking the law!

Hope that answers your question.

Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 17:51

I am gratefully accepting your qualified support limited.

My car isn't beaten up. It's actually quite new and you would feel very safe parking next to me. However as we all now know, that confidence would be misplaced because I would be sure to cause hundreds of pounds worth of damage and then run off laughing without a care in the world.

OP posts:
Coconutty · 14/06/2013 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 17:55

50shades, I do not think the circumstance you describe bears much resemblance to the case discussed here. I had a woman go into the back of me once. She got out and apologised, she was driving in slippers and her foot slipped. So that was fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 17:56

Hey, not everyone coconutty. I have qualified support from at least one poster.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 14/06/2013 17:57

No problem, OP

EmmelineGoulden · 14/06/2013 18:06

Stay I think those kinds of standards are inappropriate for the type of driving situation we have on British roads. Thankfully most people ignore scratches on their bumpers - the four cars I can see out of my window all have minor scratches on their bumpers and I suspect that would be true of 99% of the cars over a year old on the roads. Having pristine standards for this sort of thing will push up costs for everyone's driving. If paintwork is scratched it needs dealing with because it can cause rust and lower the value of your vehicle. That's not true of a scratch on the bumper.

Mass driving requires a lot of compromises from everyone and a certain amount of give and take. There are all sorts of costs that other people incur when someone drives a car - but they don't stop to compensate them individually. Some costs we assume even out, others we think provide bigger returns in other ways, and others we just expect everyone else to suck up. Having a scratch on a bumper is one of the ones I would expect other drivers to suck up since it doesn't impact value or function and the impact of "repairing" it is completely out of proportion with any benefit - thus driving up costs for all motorists.

OP I wonder if there had been other problems at that gym that the officer had heard about and that's why he was so "keen". If that's the case I can see why he might have followed up on something trivial.

50shadesofpink · 14/06/2013 18:09

Flowersblown - you still hit a car and left the scene - the Law is very clear about the consequences of this, whatever the circumstances.

Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 18:16

Thank you emmeline. At last some sense. There is a reason cars have bumpers. If everyone was able to claim on the insurance of every driver who caused minor damage to their vehicle, it would indeed push up the cost of insurance considerably. So actually I was doing you all a favour by driving away and not making a fuss.

OP posts:
Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 18:17

No idea about any problems at the gym. I'm not a regular there.

OP posts:
StayAwayFromTheEdge · 14/06/2013 18:19

Emme - we have different standards and I will not agree with you. You obviously have less respect for your own and other people's property than I do.

crashdoll · 14/06/2013 18:20

Someone caused damage to my back bumper outside my house. It's a ratty old car and I wasn't pissed off about the damage but I was pissed off that they didn't write a note.

YABU and so if your morally misguided DP.

IneedAsockamnesty · 14/06/2013 18:20

Op you need a reasonable expectation of privacy then you should be ok in the woods.

50shadesofpink · 14/06/2013 18:22

It's courtesy to leave a note if you damage someone else's property. Who knows, the owner of that car may have just thanked you for being honest and not taken it any further. It's the fact that you just didn't care less and drove away thinking you had got away with it.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/06/2013 18:24

I have been on both sides of this - I have been the one who damaged someone else's car (in the gym car park, funnily enough), but I stayed until the chap came out, owned up, and we paid for the damage to be repaired.

I was in the pool at the gym, and heard a call over the tannoy for the owner of my car, and when I responded, I was given a note from a lady who had scraped my car in the car park, with her details. The scuff polished out, and we rang her to tell her this and to thank her for her honesty.

FlowersBlown - you were dishonest.

HarrietSchulenberg · 14/06/2013 18:28

If the incident happened in a private carpark, i.e. the gym, it is a civil matter qnd is not a criminal offence. Had it happened on the road it would have been an offence worthy of police investigation. I think the officer that spotted you was overstepping his duty and shouldn't have abused the police national computer to stalk you to your home address. I bet there's no recorded complaint with the police and that he's acting as little vigilante.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 14/06/2013 18:28

Could you drive round with some kind of marker on your car? Maybe a "Secret Woods Wanker" sticker? Just so we could ID which car not to park next to?

BIWI · 14/06/2013 18:32

So you not only left the scene of an accident, you also admit to driving without due care and attention?! I hope you didn't tell the policeman you were distracted.

The whole point about this is whether or not you're parking in narrow spaces, driving in a busy city, and on busy roads, it's not up to you to decide that the damage you have made to someone else's car is not important.

I have a new car, and I would have been massively pissed off if you had marked it like that.

kinkyfuckery · 14/06/2013 18:38

AIBU?

Yes, YABU.

No, I'm NBU.

Erm.... yes, you fucking are!!

You damaged someone's property then drove away without leaving details. That is illegal. And fucking immoral. Stop the whinging and learn to fucking park/drive safely.

VivaLeBeaver · 14/06/2013 18:43

Flowers you are totally nuts.

You might lie in some dog shit in the woods if you wait till its dark. Go now, quick!

EmmelineGoulden · 14/06/2013 18:54

Stay I doubt that I have less respect for other people's property than you. My understanding of economics may drive my decision making to a different conclusion than you, but that is not the same thing.