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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was a waste of police time?

212 replies

FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 12:29

At 10pm last night I answered the door to a police officer. He asked about my car, and whether I and it had been at a particular gym earlier in the week. We had. While there I committed an offence.

I made a mistake parking and scraped the plastic bumper of the car next to me. I did not report this. The policeman was off duty in the carpark and witnessed the offence. He took our number plates and went to visit the owner of the other car. She was unaware of the damage, but upon inspection there is indeed scuffing to the bumper.

This in now in the hands of our insurance companies. Was it really worth the police persuing this? No charges are being brought. I did something wrong, but we live in a congested city. My own car is covered in scuffs that have not (all) been caused by me. Should a scuffed bumper be seen more as part of the give and take of city living rather than a potentially criminal matter?

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 14/06/2013 13:14

Funnily enough this happened to DH last Friday - except it is a really bad scrape on his bumper. Pretty new car. We were parked opposite the entrance to the main police station in our town, which is covered by CCTV. He went to report it and they are scanning their CCTV. If they find out who did it, we will want to take action action them.

I cannot believe you OP. I did this once to a car that was covered in bumps and scrapes, but I still told the garage who were servicing it.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 14/06/2013 13:14

Similar happened to my car when another driver decided it was OK to hit someone else's property and drive off. It too was reported to the police who took paid a visit to the driver involved. The police officer's opinion was that if you are happy to hit another car and drive off in a car park then chances are you'd do the same if out on the highway. You said it yourself, you committed an offence you caused damage to someone else's property if you'd left your details I very much doubt you would've had a visit.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 14/06/2013 13:18

OP, my friend at school had a bunch of Mum's gang up and try to bully her into paying for one of their scuffed bumpers. The one who owned the car cornered my friend on the school playground and accused her of bumping in the car park. No such thing had happened. My friend denied all knowledge - she would have left a note had it been her, very honest person. Said Mum then got one of her gang friends to say she'd witnessed it happen. My friend said 'no, you didn't see me do that because I didn't do it'. Other gang members friends piled in and THREATS were made! All on the PRIMARY school playground.

Because someone had scuffed a car (although I suspect the Mum scuffed it herself) and not left a note. This is what it can lead to. Glad to say my friend stood her ground and they all backed down.

Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 13:19

It does seem from these tales that is Mumsnetters, and Mumsnetters alone, who leave notes on every car they touch.

OP posts:
plainjaney · 14/06/2013 13:21

I dont think its down to Mumsnetters exclusively, more down to people who have morals Wink

StayAwayFromTheEdge · 14/06/2013 13:22

Flowers - it is people with morals that leave notes. It appears that you don't have any.

Maybe you should just learn to park?

Birdsgottafly · 14/06/2013 13:23

From a different POV, the other driver could of reported it and when the police scanned the CTTV, they could have spotted their off duty collegue.

He would then be repremanded for not taking action at the time.

I wouldn't risk my reputation at work, to cover up any wrong doing by a stranger.

ComposHat · 14/06/2013 13:24

You left the scene of an accident without reporting it, that is a criminal offence. Get off your high horse, YAB very U.

Sparklingbrook · 14/06/2013 13:24

You are a Mumsnetter Flowers. Grin

I just think that if you leave your car in a car park you should come back and find it in the same condition you left it. If another 2 cars had come by and put some more scuffs on the other side would that be ok?

Gingersstuff · 14/06/2013 13:26

Christ OP, so I should be laid-back about someone scraping their car door along my brand new Mini because it might have happened to them at some point?? You're having a laugh surely??
I think I'll go and poke some random stranger in the eye because, you know, it happened to me yesterday Hmm

Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 13:29

I can park. I was distracted by some bad news I got the day before. It was running through my mind. I have morals I promise. I drive at the speed limit. I have never had points on my licence. I have never had the police at my door. Some major leaps being made as to my character here. I did not feel that the damage was sufficient to warrant leaving a note. Everyone else feels differently.

OP posts:
hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 14/06/2013 13:31

Maybe the person who took off your wing mirror did not feel that damage was sufficient either?

StayAwayFromTheEdge · 14/06/2013 13:32

I am still bitter about paying £200 to have a dent knocked out of my two week old car last month. We live in a town with more CCTV than residents, but they were being used to follow someone and not pointing at my car.

Had they identified the driver I would have wanted criminal charges brought against him / her.

LittleDirewolfBitJoffrey · 14/06/2013 13:33

My DH scraped a car a tiny bit once while parking the numpty. He left a note. A few days later we had a voice-mail message from a lovely woman who was commending him for leaving a note, but really it was alright and the scrap would be easily fixed, but how nice to see a good citizen etc. Really lovely to hear that as DH was very embarrassed to have scuffed the paint on her vehicle.

So yeah, OP, I would leave a note and so would my husband. As far as I'm concerned you should have done the same and all those scuffs other people left on your car should have had notes from them.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 14/06/2013 13:35

But there was damage to the other car, it's not up to you to decide whether it's sufficient enough to warrant a note OP!

And living in a city has nothing to do with it.

rockybalboa · 14/06/2013 13:36

It is not the point whether your own car has been damaged in similar circs and no action taken. If you'd left a note then the owner probably still wouldn't have minded and the policeman would have been pacified. I'm glad he's come after you.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 14/06/2013 13:38

A few days later we had a voice-mail message from a lovely woman who was commending him for leaving a note, but really it was alright and the scrap would be easily fixed, but how nice to see a good citizen etc. Really lovely to hear that as DH was very embarrassed to have scuffed the paint on her vehicle.

That is exactly how I would've reacted if the woman who hit my car had had the common decency to leave a note. It was the other driver's decision to make, not yours.

StayAwayFromTheEdge · 14/06/2013 13:39

You hit a car whilst distracted - I suppose we should be grateful it wasn't a pedestrian.

LtEveDallas · 14/06/2013 13:40

If you were that distracted then you shouldnt have been driving Flowers.

Look mate, this is one of those threads where you need to accept you are in the wrong, dry your eyes, hold your hands in the air and say "OK, I fucked up, sorry". You don't have an excuse mate, I know you might be pissed off, but you have to suck this one up.

Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 13:42

I am actually surprised that you all feel this was an appropriate use of police time. I wouldn't waste their time reporting the various bits of damage that have been done to my car, even though each one is technically evidence of a criminal offence.

OP posts:
Kendodd · 14/06/2013 13:44

Another question OP as you appear unwilling to answer my first question.

Why didn't you leave a note?

You have said that you thought the damage was too small to bother about, you may well be right, and the car owner may agree with you. But why didn't you leave a note anyway, just to let them know who had done it and that it was an accident?

Oh and my first question, just in case you do feel like answering.

And if a off duty police officer had seen your wing mirror being knocked off would you have liked them to do something?

Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 13:46

I didn't know that I would be distracted by replaying a sad conversation in my head while parking when I set off on the journey. These things come into the conciousness uninvited.

OP posts:
StayAwayFromTheEdge · 14/06/2013 13:46

But it was you that wasted police time. You caused criminal damage and left. If you had left a note there would have been no need for the police to get involved.

Please accept that nobody is going to agree with you.

Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 13:49

Well, the wing mirror was actually knocked off on the pavement side. I doubt the pedestrian had insurance to cover the damage. I guess he/she should have been arrested though, yes.

OP posts:
Original poster
FlowersBlown · 14/06/2013 13:50

I do get that no one agrees with me funnily enough!

OP posts: