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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DH would want to spend Father's Day with his children...

32 replies

MrsHelsBels74 · 13/06/2013 18:17

rather than buggering off on a shooting day at the range? DSs are 3 & 8 months so it's still a fairly new event & his first with DS2. If he shoots its pretty much an all day event so no chance of doing anything before or after. AIBU?

OP posts:
CAF275 · 13/06/2013 18:22

YABU, although I'm pretty sure most folks on here will shoot me down in flames!

I really doubt many fathers give a hoot about a commercially driven day in their honour.

If it helps, my DH is 4,000 miles away and hasn't been home since the end of January, although we did meet up with him during the Easter hols. He has no clue it's fathers day and wouldn't care less if he did.

mrsjay · 13/06/2013 18:23

TBH i know you are a bit miffed at him but isn't it fathers day he can do what he likes iyswim, I dont go in for all that dh doesn't even know its fathers day and I am sure it is a new hallmark gimmick, as long as you do something on mothers day then I am not sure id care

SenoritaViva · 13/06/2013 18:24

Yabu, he should spend it how he wishes. Disclaimer though we don't make a huge deal of it in our house. I think it's all pretty commercial, but we do something small.

Ragwort · 13/06/2013 18:24

Agree with CAF - my DH is off for a day's fishing, it's the first day of the fishing season.

It is Father's Day so I am happy for him to do what he likes. Likewise on Mothering Sunday I expect to get the day of my choice Grin.

livinginwonderland · 13/06/2013 18:26

YABU, my dad never did anything with me for Fathers Day because it's just commercial rubbish. He spent time with me everyday anyway, so what was the point in singling out one random Sunday for it?

phantomhairpuller · 13/06/2013 18:26

My DH will be away on Father's Day. Not that either of us are bothered, it's a load of commercialised bollocks. An excuse to drag more money out if people. And our DCs are too young to know its Father's Day anyway.
Very similar ages to your DCs actually Confused YABU

mrsjay · 13/06/2013 18:28

I would rather stick pin in my eyes than spend the mothers day doing something the DC wanted to do ,

Startail · 13/06/2013 18:28

YANBU if he spends Saturday and Sunday shooting.

My DDs like a special meal/tea or something with their DDad, but we don't always use the Sunday.

This year it's Indian on Friday night.

HeySoulSister · 13/06/2013 18:29

Yabu!

It's just another day

ShabbyButNotChic · 13/06/2013 18:34

The question you have to answer is, would you want to do what you wanted on mothers day? If you are going to go in for the whole fathers day rubbish, surely that means it is his day and he can do what HE wants?
Dont believe in it myself...money making shite grumble grumble

LIG1979 · 13/06/2013 18:37

My dd was around 7 months on Mother's Day. I got a card, lie in and breakfast in bed and went to the gym. So most of my present was spent away from dd. Putting it like that I now feel bad!

For Father's Day - I was thinking about giving dd to dh and then going out for the day Wink

MrsHelsBels74 · 13/06/2013 18:37

Ok so IABU but in my defence he's always making himself out to be Superdad & bemoaning the fact that he never gets to spend enough time with the boys. Plus I didn't get to spend Mother's Day doing what I wanted either, it was just another day.

And I look after the boys all week & kind of begrudge doing it at weekends too whilst he has time to himself (which I rarely get).

OP posts:
wankerchief · 13/06/2013 18:39

Yabu
We dont do gifts on mothers\fathers day. We get to do what we want and be child free for the day.
The gift of no whinging kids.That and a fry up

I went to lunch and the cinima on mothers day. It was great

LIG1979 · 13/06/2013 18:39

Ooops - didn't finish. So in a way yabu as time away from the kids for the mum on Mother's Day would be considered fine so why not for the men on Father's Day.

mrsjay · 13/06/2013 18:40

I thinkt hats your issue not fathers day tell him it shouldnt be all up to you to look after the dc all weekend too if he is off galavanting, you have to tell him how you feel ,

ItCameFromOuterSpace · 13/06/2013 18:41

I dont think yabu, esp if your 3 year has been looking forward to spending time with their daddy.

Bunbaker · 13/06/2013 18:42

"I really doubt many fathers give a hoot about a commercially driven day in their honour."

I agree. OH wouldn't give a toss. As it is, he is over 5,000 miles away and won't be back until the end of next week.

susiedaisy · 13/06/2013 18:49

Can't he do the shooting and spend a bit of time with his dc on Sunday ?

Whether you get free time on a weekend generally is a whole other issue and one that seems to cause no end of trouble in a lot of marriages

sameoldIggi · 13/06/2013 19:00

I don't think fathers day (or mothers day) is about getting to do what you want, the way a birthday might be. It is about celebrating your role as a father. So yes, I think he should want to spend it with his children.

ShabbyButNotChic · 13/06/2013 19:01

I think the issue is the amount of time he spends with the kids then rather than specifically fathers day? As that alone shouldnt be that much of an issue i wouldnt think?

MrsHelsBels74 · 13/06/2013 19:06

Sameold, that's my thinking but I think this is just symptomatic of the numerous things that need fixing in our relationship Sad

OP posts:
mylovelymonster · 13/06/2013 19:08

I think YABU, but you need to communicate with him and arrange when you can have time for yourself now & again. My DH will be off cycling for the day. He doesn't get to go out much on his bike so am very happy he gets to go on a decent organised event once in a while.

Mrsrobertduvall · 13/06/2013 19:22

YABU.
I don't want to spend time with my dcs on Mother's Day Grin

trackies · 13/06/2013 19:42

YABU - let him enjoy his fathers day as he wants.

sameoldIggi · 13/06/2013 19:44

Trackies - what if every weekend is just about him enjoying himself as he wishes?

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