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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this wedding invitation is a bit odd?

75 replies

Mrsrobertduvall · 12/06/2013 19:21

I never thought I would be posting a wedding thread Grin

Dh plays golf with someone from time to time. We have just been invited to his daughter's wedding. Now Neither of us have met his daughter or fiance. I have only met this chap once briefly.

Why would a father invite HIS friends to his daughter's wedding? He has invited several other friends.
And it's not just the reception, it's the whole ceremony...everything.
Now it's in a lovely venue, upmarket, and local.

But just a bit...odd.

OP posts:
MortifiedAdams · 12/06/2013 19:23

Usually at posh dos, esp where the parents are paying, the parents have sort of say over who goes and some brides let their parents invite all and sundry in return for their wedding being paid for.

scarlettsmummy2 · 12/06/2013 19:23

I thought that was perfectly normal for traditional weddings. My parents paid for our wedding and invited lots of their friends- as did my friends parents when I attended their weddings.

Optimist1 · 12/06/2013 19:25

It sounds quite an old-fashioned arrangement to me. When the bride's father was responsible for paying for the wedding, a substantial proportion of the guests would be those that the bride's parents wanted to invite. There were friends of my parents at my wedding whom I had never met before (and from whom we got great presents!).

Bearbehind · 12/06/2013 19:26

If the fathers of the bride is payng he might be trying to show just how rich they are and make it look as if they have loads of friends. (Think the Harry Enfield 'considerably richer than you' sketches)

I wouldn't over think it. If it sounds like a good do, I'd go!

petra27 · 12/06/2013 19:27

Yep, normal here too. I look at my wedding photos and think who are all these dreadful people?? .....dh and I had about 50 guests between us out of 150 all day invites and another 50 we didn't know in the evening

Original poster
Mrsrobertduvall · 12/06/2013 19:28

I've just never come across it before (I do not have wealthy friendsand we got married as cheaply as we could!)

Well I shall have to angst now about what to wear...over to S and B!

OP posts:
HildaOgden · 12/06/2013 19:31

The father of the bride and the one with the big wallet is a networker,simple as that.

Optimist1 · 12/06/2013 19:31

Great minds, Scarlettsmummy2!

TheCraicDealer · 12/06/2013 19:32

My parents have been to several of their friends' daughters' (their offspring all happen to be girls) weddings, seems to be the "done thing". Especially when a lot of cash is being flashed by the parents.

When I suggested that I may get married in England, my dad shit himself and said he wouldn't be contributing at all as he couldn't invite his friends and expect them to go all that way. We live in Belfast btw, not Outer Mongolia. I'm still trying to locate the shit I don't give.

olivo · 12/06/2013 19:40

Ann, the very reason we decided to pay for our own wedding! Grin

EugenesAxe · 12/06/2013 19:41

I think it's often common practice for friends of the parents to be invited. It's a bit odd given you are only loosely friends with them though; unless they are smarming up to you or something.

I had many of my parents friends at our wedding, but to be fair half of them I was close enough to, to want to include them in the day.

Gingerandcocoa · 12/06/2013 19:42

Sounds normal to me

SauvignonBlanche · 12/06/2013 19:46

Daddy is clearly paying.

mum11970 · 12/06/2013 19:47

Definitely was pretty common when father was paying for the wedding. My parents have been to loads of friends' children's weddings and grandchildren's christening too.

CloudsAndTrees · 12/06/2013 19:50

He's paying for it and hosting it, so he wants to show off to his friends.

It is quite common, and to be fair, if I was spending a fortune on my children's weddings, I'd fancy the idea of enjoying it with a few of my mates too.

I find it more weird that couples go along with it so they can have the venue they want.

overmydeadbody · 12/06/2013 19:51

Very normal common practice when the parents pay for the wedding.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 12/06/2013 19:51

Nothing unusual about that at all.

Parents are celebrating the marriage of their daughter and they want some friends there to celebrate with them - it's nice, not weird.

HollyBerryBush · 12/06/2013 19:55

Because he is paying for it?

Brides parents traditionally do the inviting. Especially when footing the bill.

spotscotch · 12/06/2013 19:57

Are they Irish? My parents have been to quite a few weddings where they have met neither the bride nor groom.

Original poster
Mrsrobertduvall · 12/06/2013 19:59

I am in my fifties and the concept of parents paying for weddings is alien to me....all my friends paid fortheir own weddings.
I understand having close friends there, people who might know your daughterand have spent time with her but not random people like us!!!!!

OP posts:
diddl · 12/06/2013 20:00

Gosh-am I old-because I don't find it odd at all!

I would just assume he is paying & therefore wants to celebrate with his friends!

Bearbehind · 12/06/2013 20:01

It is a bit weird. All day wedding invitations aren't cheap and to invite 'someone you play golf with from time to time' along with their wife, is closer to weird than nice IMO.

ceramicunicorn · 12/06/2013 20:05

Oh God my dm did this. My wedding was about 200 from where me, dh and most of our friends live so we were expecting a fair amount of people to not make it. Every rsvp that came back declining my dm invited one of her friends.

She wasn't paying for our wedding but had insisted on being in charge of invitations. We ended up with a whole table full of random people from my mums office at £100 per head.

mrspaddy · 12/06/2013 20:09

My dad invited everyone .. and we paid.. unfair but that is what they expected.

cosydressinggown · 12/06/2013 20:11

I wouldn't go to the wedding of someone I didn't know. Sounds like the bride's father is a big shot trying to look popular with dozens of guests.