Vegetarian Question...

[MrsFruitcake]

Not an AIBU, but more of a was he BU?

Friend of many years came to visit for Sunday lunch. She has been a vegetarian since forever and we obviously know this. She also knows that we all eat meat.

Lunch was lamb with provision made for her in the form of nut cutlet or some such. She then proceeded to pour gravy all over her lunch and then was upset when it was pointed out that it had been made with the meat juice. She is still upset with DH weeks on as she blames him for this.

My Q is this - if you were a vegetarian visiting a family who you know are all meat eaters, would you assume the gravy is meat free?

I would have asked.

I am still in shock that my otherwise wonderful gp suggested good low fat sources of protein for me recently as: Chicken breast, fish & quorn. I am Vegetarian I do not eat bloody chicken!

What's wrong with eggs, cheese and pulses? Why does it have to be fake meat? tucks into linda mccartney sausage roll (you would have thought there was nothing left of her by now?)

Did she eat it op or did you make her something else?
I would have assumed the gravy didn't have meat in it if you had done veggie food, but. I probably would have checked first. Dry roast dinner is rank though, I would have made sure the gravy was veggie or made her some separately.

When I go to my mum's and there is a large dinner she will tell me what is what meat wise as we sit down to eat.

Holly, a sausage isn't shaped like an animal, is it? It's just a way of shaping food that's convenient to eat.

Some people choose not to eat meat for health reasons or on principle, but like the taste and choose to eat food that looks or tastes meaty. Sometimes people have come from a meat-eating background so food that is meat-like but not actually made of meat might appeal to them.

But if we had to watch a film showing how a soya sausage got from original plant food to plate or how a meat sausage got from live animal to plate, even many meat eaters would surely conclude that it's the meat sausage that is 'ghastly' not the soya sausage.

OP, she did eat it didn't she? That's the only explanation for being so upset - that, knowing she was veggie, you and your DH, who'd made it so knew its content, watched her eat it (or paid no attention to her doing so) before telling her.

Still, she's being silly but may be feeling her hosts were inattentive.

if you sat and watched her eat it knowing it was meat then that was bang out of order. If thats the case and it was me, then I wouldn't be speaking to you again, let alone a few weeks, for having such blatent disrespect for my beliefs.

I actually sort of think it's a bit unreasonable to invite a veggie for Sunday lunch and give them a nut cutlet as a kind of optional tie-in to the 'real' meal. And that you should all have had a nice vegetarian meal. But I may be unreasonable, of course. I frequently am.

I am not a vegetarian any more, btw, but I was for years.

In fact if my lovely veggie best friend came to Sunday lunch I wouldn't dream of giving her a nut cutlet while DP roasted a chicken.

Well, if someone had shouted 'nooo' as she poured, then given her something else to eat instead, there wouldn't be a question to ask, would there?

I have some bisto beef gravy n the cupboard, it is not labelled as vegi and the ingredients contain "beef extract"

No I don't suppose there would be lottie

When i was a veggie I wouldn't assume that the gravy was veggie and would always check.

However since i've been a meat eater, when i'm entertaining veggies & none veggies, i would always make sure that the gravy could be eaten by both.

I would assume the gravy is meat free if there was no alternative gravy offered. I would still check, but I can see why she thought it was veggie.

Why would you invite someone for lunch who you know is a vegetarian if you can't be arsed to provide veggie food? Gravy with a roast dinner is a must, so veggie gravy is a must when catering for a vegetarian at Sunday lunch.

I agree with MrsC, you are both bu. If I was serving food to anyone with a special diet, I would career for them. If I had a vegan for a roast, the gravy or sauce would be vegan.

If you didn't stop her from eating gravy made with meat yabvu.

I've had people hide tuna in a pizza to test if I could taste it. She should have checked. If you let her eat, I'm not surprised she is still angry at you.

It's a rookie error to not check gravy, she must have been a bit out of it to not check!

Er.. how could she be stopped? I'm assuming it happened fairly quickly, or should meat eaters watch their veggie guests like hawks to see they don't tuck in to the wrong stuff? Did she actually eat it? Not sure about "letting" her eat it; others may just have been busy eating/chatting and not policing the eating of food by a long-time guest.

Sorry if I've missed some clarification that may have happened upthread.

I would tell guests what they were eating. This, this and that are gluten free. That is vegan. Etc

No they don't need to watch them like hawks. Just point out that only meat gravy was available, or better still, cater for guests properly.

I can't tell what the circumstance is. I, wouldn't sweet the funny side to this being pointed out, especially if there was any schadenfreude.

I eat Quorn products because I've cut down on cheese, I don't eat eggs and I can't eat beans/pulses (at the moment) so it's hard to get enough protein in my diet. The Quorn 'chicken' pieces are very low carb, reasonably high in protein, are easy to cook and taste/look nothing like chicken - is that alright with you Holly?

I would eat the soy/quorn/tofu products if they were shaped like shoes/house/cars - the manufacturer chooses to shape them like some meat products to encourage meat eaters to eat them, so because of that I shouldn't eat them? Weird.

Possibly the veggie option didn't need gravy, so veggie friend wasn't "not being catered for".

AaDB when I'm catering for groups of people with different dietary requirements I aim for the common denominator so to speak - so the 'centrepoint' of a meal might end up being gluten-dairy-and meat free but I'd provide add ons for those that wanted/needed.

I do eat quorn, and I'm trying to reduce cheese. Although tonight I had egg butties with chips because I was hungry and in a hurry. Tomorrow will be falafel with coleslaw and salad in pita bread.

I do veggie 'roast' dinners sometimes - quorn slices or nut cutlets or whatever with roast potatoes, parsnips, any other roasty veg like beetroot, butternut squash, etc. plus lots of green things. And gravy. Oxo green cubes, fat out of the roasties, and some water from the green veg.

It was roast dinner echt. Normally served with gravy. Meat swapped for nut cutlet.