Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To feel a little sorry for the 7 children benefits Mum.

999 replies

MilgramsLittleHelper · 12/06/2013 11:19

www.itv.com/daybreak/hottopics/benefits-mum/

Is just seems like another bit of benefit bashing to me.

I know she shouldn't have had children she couldn't afford, but what hope of improving her lot???

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 12/06/2013 23:23

You said people like you and everyone else who goes out to work.

I'm not people like you, thank fuck.

forumdonkey · 12/06/2013 23:30

Read my post - I am a single parent who's exh doesn't pay a penny to, so I'm supporting my children.

its an absolute joke that this woman has the bare faced cheek to moan that 2k handout a month is not enough

I'm up in 6 hours to go to work so I'll leave you all to argue amongst yourselvesGrin

forumdonkey · 12/06/2013 23:33

usualsuspect

Quote my actual post instead of putting words into mouth! !

merrymouse · 12/06/2013 23:34

Struggling working families also receive benefits.

Legal aid is being cut back because apparently that kind of thing is a bit of a luxury for the poor.

But hey, there was this woman on TV with 7 children who said she needed a 6 bedroom house! That's what people on benefits are like! Bet she has a massive telly! Lets cut some more!!!

usualsuspect · 12/06/2013 23:35

I hope you never lose your job then

Wouldn't want to be a feckless scrounger now would you?

morethanpotatoprints · 12/06/2013 23:37

Forumdonkey

Most people except the very rich are struggling. We could all find people we feel sorry for, but that does not mean we should kick the boot in those less fortunate than ourselves.
What does it matter what other people have in comparison to yourself? If you are not happy with your choices it is not the fault of this woman or anybody else.
I read your last post after posting my last post and found you are a sp. It must be difficult for you in many ways, and you should be proud of your achievements. Maybe this woman isn't a strong a character as you, maybe she is not as well educated. Maybe she has been given a real rough deal in life. Do you really have no compassion

ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 23:43

donkey - I was a single (working) parent until about 3 years ago.

It was easier, financially, then.

Now DP and I struggle to make ends meet but I'm not jealous of anyone else Hmm

Dawndonna · 12/06/2013 23:44

No forumdonkey but she does have a child with Guillan Barre. It' s been known to kill, but of course living with that as a single mum is whoop de do.

ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 23:45

Also - Yawwwwwn!

There's no talking to some people.

I've some books to read. Night

bochead · 13/06/2013 00:02

These children have a father who is not deceased. He also chose to produce them. Why isn't his name also being dragged through the mud of public opinion? I'm just so sick of hearing the parent who does stick around being vilified at every turn.

Any parent can suffer a drastic change in circumstances at any time, sadly all it takes is one serious accident for themselves or one of their children (& it's shocking just how many exclusions these insurance policies seem to have when you come to claim!). There but for the Grace of God & all that . . . . .

I do have an issue with welfare scroungers - when are the bank bailouts going to be repaid to the taxpayer exactly?

OTTMummA · 13/06/2013 00:06

Is everyone just ignoring that she is a carer?
Even if she just had the 2 children with SN It would be very unlikely she could go into work again!
She may have been allocated the 6 bedroomed house if there was nothing else suitable, she wouldn't have had much choice about that as there are rules about refusing social housing.
It costs money to move, if she is on a tight budget then she will struggle to save for a house move.
Would she still be getting this vitriol if she only had the total of 2 children with SN? Who had been abandoned by the father and she was left to be their carer? She didn't start having babies on benefits, I can not see how she is using them as a lifestyle choice?

She had children whilst being supported by the father, he then fucked off and she rightly needed a support and she will probably need it for a long time, you have to understand that there will be some people who will always need and use the saftey net of welfare.

sashh · 13/06/2013 01:17

OTTMummA

I agree with most of what you are saying. But, big but, there is a 17 year old NEET in the house.

She says she can't work because childcare would be £45 a day, well get that 17 year old doing the school run and after school care.

But totally agree father should be supporting them.

Crumbledwalnuts · 13/06/2013 01:22

Forumdonkey, I sympathise and agree, and I hope you win the lottery :)

Crumbledwalnuts · 13/06/2013 01:49

"Most people except the very rich are struggling...What does it matter what other people have in comparison to yourself?"

Well a lot are struggling because they should keep a lot more tax-free income and aren't able to. And it's not just what other people have - it's what other people have which you are paying for them to have and are therefore not able to have yourself.

If it doesn't matter what other people have, let's let everyone keep all their income tax free and abandon the idea of redistribution completely. That's the logic of what you're saying.

bochead · 13/06/2013 02:41

No sure many 17 year olds could adequately care for TWO SN siblings + the others as well. In fact my suspicion is that SS would frown upon it. SN childcare isn't easy.

I know a few 17 year NEETS - in reality they are out all day, every day searching desperately for that first break. On paper it looks like they doing not a lot at all, whereas in reality they are chasing those few apprenticeships, doing CV drop offs, studying part time to get the their GCSE grades up so they can do the college course of their dreams etc, etc. Sadly there just aren't enough opportunities out there right now. The young without work experience and the over 50's are always hit hardest in economic down turns.

Agree there's a lot to be said for learning to be content with your lot. Misplaced envy has got to be one of the most destructive emotions known to mankind. As a single Mum to one disabled child, I wouldn't swap places with this poor lady for all the tea in China.

MyBaby1day · 13/06/2013 06:39

I am sorry for the children, they had no choice to be born into it but not really for her, she was irresponsible. Why have so many, just one child is enough for many of my friends and was for my Mum. Crazy.

BeauNidle · 13/06/2013 06:54

Alot of peple are missing the point. People on this thread are not against the welfare state, or helping those in need. What they are against is a woman who is expecting to be housed by the welfare state in a 6 bedroom house, and moaning that 2k is not enough for her to pay her rent. Well, I have news for her. Not many people could support themselves in a 6 bedroom house if they are working, so we dont. Therefore, she can move to a 3 bed and live on the 2k.

I'm sure a great many of us would love to be in bigger houses, but their income does not allow for it. We budget and try to live accordingly. I have 3 dc, am lucky to live in a 4 bedroom house which we are working literally day and night for. Should our circumstances change, and our income drops, we shall have to move. Simple as that. I would not be going to the papers saying it isn't fair and can someone else stump up the difference, I would look rather foolish no?

Snog · 13/06/2013 06:58

This is a mere diversion from the fact that amazon, Starbucks etc should be paying millions in tax.
Instead they are competing unfairly with local cafes and bookshops who do pay tax and putting them out of business.

This is the scandal that we should all be jumping up and down about. Tax bills can fall if big companies and rich people pay fair tax.

BeauNidle · 13/06/2013 07:05

But this is not a thread about that is it Snog? This is a thread specifically about this woman and her situation.

Crumbledwalnuts · 13/06/2013 07:08

This is a mere diversion from the fact that amazon, Starbucks etc should be paying millions in tax.This is the scandal that we should all be jumping up and down about.

But what does it matter what other people have in comparison to yourself? If you are not happy with your choices it is not the fault of ..anybody else.

BeerTricksPotter · 13/06/2013 07:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crumbledwalnuts · 13/06/2013 07:12

They aren't really obligations are they though, if everyone should be happy with what they have in comparison with everybody else. If she is not happy with her choice it's not the fault of anybody else. Just channelling potatoprints here.

Crumbledwalnuts · 13/06/2013 07:17

There's really no need to feel sorry for her except that she has a child suffering from GB, which you'd feel sympathy for if she was a duchess or a dinner lady. She has a home, she has enough money to feed her children and keep them warm, clean water, free health care, free education and social services support. She'll be fine.

BeauNidle · 13/06/2013 07:18

So Beertricks, any family with say 3 children should be 'entitled' to be housed in 4 bedrooms? Any family with 5 children should be house in 6 bedrooms if they are being paid for by the welfare? Whilst the rest of the country struggle to get by with 5 children in a 3 bed and are working?

Can you not understand why the tide has turned on this. It is the expectation. Those children would not be suffering in a 3 bedroom house, like the rest of the country has to live. It is ludicrous how she can even dare to whinge, without a thought of where the money is coming from. I would be cringing if I were in here shoes. And many people all over the internet are feeling just as I am. Just google and read the comments. There are far far more people expressing the same viewpoint as me, and very few who feel like you about this particular case.

JakeBullet · 13/06/2013 07:20

I think we need to be asking ourselves about the children here. They did not ask to be born into this world yet they are here. Do we leave them to starve because their Mum is on benefits? No we don't and not should we.

Do we ask that those who CAN, share a bedroom? Yes.

Do we allow for the fact that some might NOT be able to share a bedroom? Yes.

If there are 7 children then the benefits she gets will not go far, especially if a large amount of it is made up of housing benefit. I am assuming that she is being hammered by bedroom tax (or whatever we want to call it) and the benefits cap as well.

Swipe left for the next trending thread