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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To feel a little sorry for the 7 children benefits Mum.

999 replies

MilgramsLittleHelper · 12/06/2013 11:19

www.itv.com/daybreak/hottopics/benefits-mum/

Is just seems like another bit of benefit bashing to me.

I know she shouldn't have had children she couldn't afford, but what hope of improving her lot???

OP posts:
musicismylife · 12/06/2013 12:41

Well said davsmum

BaconKetchup · 12/06/2013 12:41

I am pleasantly surprised that this hasn't turned into the usual "hilarious" flatscreen TVs and goats jokes thread Grin

BaconKetchup · 12/06/2013 12:42

quite a few people christina

Kafri · 12/06/2013 12:44

The other lady who was on that article made a good point - I work and earn what I earn. I wouldn't earn any more if I had more children, I'd have to make what I earn cover everything. I'm a TA so certainly not on mega bucks but is just have to make changes like the rest of the working population.

Davsmum · 12/06/2013 12:46

dreamingofsun.

So you KNOW she has a 'strategy'

Like others you have made your mind up on absolutely no evidence - other than its what you choose to believe.
Once you know all about her and her life - all the facts - then you can decide about her and her reasons or 'strategies'
You can't make up your own reasons!

I really do hope that some of the people on here never sit on a jury because they make their minds up before they know anything much at all. No evidence required for a verdict?

I sometimes wonder who the sensible people are.

abcdangel · 12/06/2013 12:47

Davsmum - I should maybe rephrase that then - she does not GO TO work. And she has chosen to have 7 children so should suck it up - I found 2 hard enough but I made sure I didn't have any more by using contraception.

I don't know anyone who when pregnant didn't have to analyse what they were going to do post birth re paying for the child, where they were going to live and whether they were going to return to work.

Those people who didn't got back to work (in many cases because it wouldn't pay for childcare) acknowledged that their financial situation would be affected and took that on the chin. They did not expect to be paid by the state to look after their own child.

And I agree that she could do with some help to budget effectively because £2,000 is a lot of money.

ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 12:47

Davs - I never wonder that Wink

burberryqueen · 12/06/2013 12:48

Or get a job
how is a single mother of 7 one with sn supposed to do that?
ok she could work 20 hours at minimum wage i imagine in which case she would still need state subsidy in the form of WFTC, CTC, HB, and CB. so what would be the point? she might as well stay with those who need her for now.

ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 12:49

abc - you really don't know that she chose to have 7 children. You assume.

BeauNidle · 12/06/2013 12:49

Well, the background is that the area she comes from has a very high rate of unemployment apparently. She needs to retrain in order to get a job.

So, if the prospects are that bad, let's just have another baby? No, stop having babies, and get on the course to re-train.

Of course ItsallFeegle, we do not know the background apart from what we are reading. You as much as me. So to presume, there are a multitude of reasons for her situation, is just as bad as me presuming she is just whinging about her situation and expecting people to be in uproar on her behalf.

And if the father's are not providing, or working, they should have their money stopped.

There are many people who suddenly find themselves out of work, single parents etc. This seems to be a little different, from what I can gather, she has chosen this life.

ophelia275 · 12/06/2013 12:50

Hmmm. So because Thames Water has not paid any Corporation tax it is ok to keep giving people with big families that don't work lots of money? No, it's not! Both issues are wrong and both issues (tax avoidance and out of control welfare) are the reasons we are having austerity. Both should be stamped out imo.

Bonquers · 12/06/2013 12:50

Great news. About time all scroungers got hit.

ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 12:52

Beau "Of course ItsallFeegle, we do not know the background apart from what we are reading. You as much as me. So to presume, there are a multitude of reasons for her situation, is just as bad as me presuming she is just whinging about her situation and expecting people to be in uproar on her behalf."

How so? Hmm

Also - what I've described could be one of a multitude of 'reasons' for this woman's situation.

Davsmum · 12/06/2013 12:53

Beaunide,
She chose for her husband to abandon her?

This woman is not YOU - she did not have YOUR parents - your education - your qualifications?
She had HER life - A life you know nothing about - or I know nothing about.
She may be all you say - however, You don't know and I don't know.
Difference is you choose to condemn through ignorance - because you ARE ignorant about her - What you know you have made up to suit your disgust and anger at her getting money from the state.

AmberSocks · 12/06/2013 12:53

i dont see why she needs to live in a 6 bedroom house?7 kids and 1 adult could fit into 4 bedrooms surely?she lives in birmingham its not exactly expensive to live up there!I think she could get buy on that if she really wanted to.

BaconKetchup · 12/06/2013 12:54

ophelia275 I will never understand why people sometimes act as though situations like this are okay purely because there are other issues like tax avoidance.

Davsmum · 12/06/2013 12:56

Probably because the country loses lots lots more through tax avoidance by very well off people who are just greedy?

ItsallFeegle · 12/06/2013 12:56

What it's really like living on benefits

Davsmum · 12/06/2013 12:57

BTW - no one said situations like this are 'OK'

noisytoys · 12/06/2013 12:58

I feel bad for the children. Me and DH work full time and take home a little less than 2k (in the south east). We have 2 children and its really hard making ends meet. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to make 2k stretch to meet the needs of 7 children

BeauNidle · 12/06/2013 13:01

I don't get the £54 per week business anyway. Are they saying that £54 is difficult to live on after housing benefit, tax credits, fsm, child benefit, council tax paid, blah blah. Or are they saying they have to pay rent, council tax, gas elec, food, clothing? And is this per person or an entire family?
One hell of a difference.

Kaluki · 12/06/2013 13:01

These stories and programmes such as Skint are all emphasisiing the extremes of benefit ?scroungers? but they always miss the main issue. Minimum wage is so low (assuming you can get a job in the first place) and rents and living costs are constantly rising so with the best will in the world it is becoming impossible for some families to live without claiming some form of benefits.
DP and I are lucky to be in jobs which pay above the minimum wage. We manage to pay rent and all the other bills ourselves but if we were on £6.30 an hour we would struggle and we live in a council house which has comparably low rent.

bettycocker · 12/06/2013 13:01

I don't think 2000 per month is much at all if you have seven children.

I would love to have another child, but I can't afford to do so. Still, that doesn't mean that I'm all bitter and hateful towards this woman and others in similar situations.

People who get all sanctimonious over things like this seriously need to get a grip. If they think their lives are worse because of a minority of people who have large families and are on benefits, they are very naive indeed.

Politicians will tell you that these people are the reason why you pay so much tax, but they will find any excuse to grab as much of your money as possible.

BaconKetchup · 12/06/2013 13:01

ItsallFeegle all of those people receive significantly less than the woman the thread is about.

ghayes · 12/06/2013 13:02

I don't see what tax avoidance has to do with this issue.

I can hardly blame people for getting annoyed about paying tax when they see that their money is going towards people like this, and they know that the children are statistically quite likely to go on to do the same thing.