DH and I both want to study to become a teachers at 42 and 45? Will be 47/51 by the time we've finished! Are we nuts?

[Lionessy]

I have always remembered my old dragon of an English teacher, who I thought hated me, telling me at my last lesson before I left school 'Lionessy, promise me you will go to university to study English, that is your talent'. The only compliment I can ever remember in an abusive and very lonely childhood .

Of course I did'nt. My self esteem has always been very low so I drifted from crap job to crap job, never enjoying them, always feeling like I was punching below my weight. I have spent 9 of the last 11 years of a SAHM (2 years in a short lived job local government role before DC4) prior to that I was a PA in banking in London where I was bored out of my skull!

After considering many new directions to have a last shot of a 'career', I've got it in my head to do an OU degree in English Language and Literature and then do a PCGE so I can use the degree to teach, preferably in a college or even use it to teach abroad.

I have mentioned this to DH and suggested he also does an OU degree in combined Maths and Physics which he always excelled at at school. English is not his mother tongue but I believe he can do it. He can then train to become a teacher as well which he would love (he is currently a lorry driver!). We could have weekends and school holidays free with the DC, the youngest of which is only 2 now and will be in the education system for the next 16 years and we will have another 15-20 years of working years left as well. Over the 4/5 years of training, DH will continue driving lorries and I will look for part time office work when DC4 starts nursery/school.

DH likes the idea but says I'm dreaming. It's not realistic and we are too old. We will also have student loans in excess of £30k. I am an eternal optimist though despite having much shit thrown at me throughout my life and really think this could a an achievement for both of us. AIBU and unrealistic?

You seem to know the downsides (lots of debt) and I am a firm believer that it's rarely too late to do anything, and that's it's better to try and fail than live with the regret of never doing it.

YANBU.

The debt is an affordable one, there is little pressure to pay it off, it will come out of your wages when you start teaching.

Go for it. You are passionate about English, we need you.

please do it, you sound like you'd be really good and there's a 20 year career there for you. You could consider a GTP (graduate teacher placement) rather than a PGCE after you have your degree. This means that you are directly employed by a school, as a teacher, with a lighter timetable and some release time to attend an HE institution every now and then. You qualify after a year. If you could find the time in the last year of your degree to go and do some observation and maybe even team teaching in the school that hires you (you'd want to be looking to apply for Sept jobs as early as Nov of the previous year) you'd be able to get some experience before the "real thing". The advantage is that you are working with a salary. The downside is that you are rather thrown in at the deep end. It works really well for people who are natural teachers, perhaps less well for those who need the extra support and time that a PGCE provides.

Tbh, most of the teachers I know in late 40s and early 50s are desperate to get out.

I've been teaching nearly 20 years. It's a young persons game. You need resilience,stamina and energy.

Sorry to rain on your parade. I would just do the degree tbh

Also you don't get school holidays free! Lots of planning preparation report writing classroom organising etc etc etc etc. long stressful days and if you teach full time you sacrifice every evening or your weekends for more planning preparation assessments and resource finding! If its your dream then do it but it will be tough!

You also don't have weekends and holidays free. Sorry I will go elsewhere now....

Go for it, I am your age and training to be a TA. I worked in management accounts before, found it stressful and soul destroying, with lots and lots of unpaid overtime. Plenty of worthwhile jobs are stressful and if you go into it with your eyes open, then why not? Good luck.

Don't go in to teaching to have your weekends free! When do you think teachers plan, mark and level work? English is probably the most marking heavy subject as well.
Go for it by all means but go for it with your eyes wide open.

Have you any recent experience of education? Before you do this I would visit some schools....times have changed

Weekends and school holidays free? Are you dreaming? Teaching is not a 9-3 career. There is a lot of overtime required to be a effective teacher, and if you think you're going to have all these blissful long holidys, then it's not the job for you.

I think if you can afford to do it, you should do the degree and worry about what to do with it when you have done it - teaching is one option.

I think it's brilliant that you want to do this :)

Why not do it so that you start ASAP and do your first year, then if your DH thinks he wants to do it too, he starts next year - a more gradual change of lifestyle - it will be hard if you both start doing it at the same time.

I think you are being unrealistic sorry. If you can slog through the OU degree well and good but I reckon you will find it tough getting on to a PGCE course and even tougher getting a job.

How are you going to support yourselves and four children if neither of you are working? It sounds like a recipe for stress and poverty to me.

TBH, I'd say go for it if you were in my position, I'm 52 and my youngest is 18. So I can please myself now.
Your age isn't a problem if you could cope with the demands, but to want to do it because a teacher told you so, twenty years ago? Not enough of a reason.
But you need a much better understanding of the reality of what you are getting into, what it looks like as a job and the reality of the workload and the pressure, especially if you suffer from low self-esteem.

Oh and 'by afford to do it' I meant if you can still pay all your bills while doing it, even if you end up with a student loan for the course itself.

cerisier - they both plan to keep working. (Though I think that will be a bit of a mission with 4 kids and 2 degrees being done - which is why I suggested the OP starts first then her DH if they think, as a family, they can cope with 2 degrees being done.)

I like your enthusiasm but make be sure you fully understand the role before making such a big commitment.

Do you know any teachers? If so, please quiz them on their jobs (or ask on here) and make sure it is the right choice for you. Teacher training (and life as a teacher) is fast-paced, demanding and unsustainable for many, many people. As someone said upthread, it is tough and with the education system changing (pay being linked to children's progress etc) the pressure is ever increasing.

I don't want to discourage you, you sound like you have alot to contribute, but it's important to make a really well-informed decision. Personally, I love teaching and encouraging children's learning but I know I haven't got the discipline or organisation to maintain the lifestyle and paperwork that goes with it. DH is a teacher and is well suited to it (very thorough, well organised etc) but I know I am much better in a TA/support role.

I think you are being unrealistic as well. All new teachers at DD's high school are being asked for a high level of commitment in order to be able to take after school activities. The teachers also have to take part in parents evenings, school trips, work weekends to do planning and marking and often use up holidays for planning. One of my friends recently left teaching because of the pressures.

And if you have self esteem issues do not go into teaching

How will you cope when you realise that you are failing your own children due to the pressures of the job?
I felt like shit.

Please please do not get misty eyed about teaching. The HSE now identify it the most stressful job there is, and it has a high suicide rate.

The being with the kids is great, it just the micro inspection of your performance in the classroom all the time, and the constant threat of requiring improvement, which then leads to capability, potentially on the observation of one less than outstanding lesson, when no one can be outstanding all the time

A lot of good things about teaching and doing what you love but it is physically and mentally so tiring and I am dreading being stuck there till 70 to get my pension! No way I can see myself controlling a class of 32 14 year olds on a Friday afternoon at 69 years old.

I love teaching but I am carrying on doing it now I have DS (2.6) because I can already do it and because it will fit with school hols. I wouldn't take it up at my age (mid thirties) because I am already tired out by it.

I wish it were an easier profession but I wouldn't even recommend it to most new graduates, TBH, I could have been making three times as much money for the same stress and job satisfaction.

If you want to teach abroad, what about a degree and then a TEFL qualification? Then you would have a great deal of flexibility. Pay is not good but it is generally less work than UK school teaching.

OP I'm in a similar position to you. I'm looking into doing a degree at 42. I currently work in a school, not teaching, but have been told I should teach as I have a natural rapport with children but although I really would like to get a degree under my belt I do not want to teach. I see how challenging it is and how it affects morale especially with the constant changes and demands on teachers.

Only do it if you are 100% sure and don't be fooled by long holidays. Teachers carry on working even when their pupils have gone home and this includes weekends and school holidays.

Of course you're not too old but I think you have to have a real passion for teaching otherwise you'll hate the job. Both my DSis are teachers and yes they get great holidays but it can be pretty stressful, they need them.

I think you need to separate the two things. Actually, the three things - you studying, you teaching, and DH's plans.

Start the degree with an open mind. You will have to do a faculty-based foundation course first, where you study a broad range of subjects. I did this with Humanities, determined to study Eng Lit, I then ended up falling passionately in love with History and Philosophy so planned a joint degree in that. DS then came along, so I dropped my studies. 2 years ago I went back and did creative writing, now I'm a published poet and halfway through my first novel.

So you never know where study will take you. Start your course, keep an open mind, see what happens next.

If your DH isn't keen, there is no point in pushing him. It's hard! Very hard to study, especially with four DCs and a day job. It may take you much longer than the four years to complete a degree. And if you are both studying, there will be a lot of give and take to sort out.

Start your own path, let DH work out his, but don't worry about the teaching for now. Plenty time for that once you're near the end of your degree.

And good luck, it's the best thing I ever did.