to find it weird when babies and toddlers are collectively referred to as "she"?

[samandi]

Surely it should be "he or she" or "he"? While I don't like the latter, at least it is kind of correct. Or use "they" - while not technically correct, at least it sounds more appropriate.

Was going to say YANBU but considering you do find HE acceptable for a mixed group then YABVVU.

Well I don't like "he" when referring to both males and females at all - it's one of my bugbears when it comes to the English language. But it is at least correct. She is not.

I didn't insert that link Does mumsnet often do things like that - I've never seen it before?

Why is he any more correct than she?

Too complicated for me, can you rephrase please? I don't understand

What I find weird is that usually if people are talking about adults then the default with be "he" or "them", but sometimes people use "she" for children. It seems to be the case that it's ok to use the feminine as a default for infants, but not for grown ups.

I don't mind if people alternate pronouns, using "he" sometimes and "she" sometimes. I prefer "he or she" which is admittedly clumsy but more inclusive.

What I can't stand is when people use the collective "they" when referring to a single person. Drives me batty. If you are referring to one individual, use a singular pronoun.

What's wrong with 'they' when talking about a group? Why bother with 'he' or 'she' when both would suggest a single person? I've never heard of that before

Rhinestone - because English is not a gender neutral language. Male pronouns are used to refer to people when we don't know their gender.

What I find weird is that usually if people are talking about adults then the default with be "he" or "them", but sometimes people use "she" for children. It seems to be the case that it's ok to use the feminine as a default for infants, but not for grown ups.

I've noticed that a lot. It seems to be well-intentioned, but surely one of the consequences is that infancy and femininity are being linked with one another.

Urgh, sorry I'm not phrasing that very well, but hopefully you get the point.

I've never heard of a group of babies being referred to as 'she' in my entire life! Where have you heard this, OP? I'm baffled.

I've never heard them being referred to as 'he' either.

Catelyn - there are plenty of examples. The Cow and Gate adverts, and other TV adverts I'm sure I've noticed it. It seems to be quite common in articles eg

www.netmums.com/baby/baby-baby-development/talk-to-your-baby

opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/10/the-power-of-talking-to-your-baby/

Catelyn - sorry, I don't mean as a group! I mean when it's not known whether the baby in question is male or female.

Catelyn-snap!

A group called he or she??

WTAFß

Or have I completely misunderstood?

Eh?

He isn't any more correct referring to a group unless they're all male.

'Rhinestone - because English is not a gender neutral language. Male pronouns are used to refer to people when we don't know their gender.'

That's not really true. There was a fashion for doing this, but it's mega outdated, and previous to said fashion we used to have a gender neutral pronoun.

'Rhinestone - because English is not a gender neutral language. Male pronouns are used to refer to people when we don't know their gender.'

That's not really true. There was a fashion for doing this, but it's mega outdated, and previous to said fashion we used to have a gender neutral pronoun.

diddl like the adverts "follow on milk will give your baby all the nutrients she needs" rather than "all the nutrients he or she needs".

I've always assumed the adverts say 'she' because the baby in the advert is a girl. Maybe they should say "it"

He isn't 'correct' either though, is it? Just traditional usage.

I was always taught to pick either 'he' or 'she' and then stick to it throughout a piece of writing.
If I don't know the gender, or simply don't care because it is irrelevant to the discussion at hand (e.g. feeding a baby), then I will make my own choice whether to use 'he' or 'she' as I see fit.

Hmm. Perhaps I am a bit behind the times and it is no longer considered gramatically correct. (In which case, good!)

Using "their" seems to be acceptable according to this blog ... haven't read it all through but skimmed and looks quite interesting

blog.oxforddictionaries.com/2012/06/he-or-she-versus-they/

I have no idea what this thread is about

Oh right I think I get it now.

Do they use "she" throughout?

In which case I don't see a problem.

I suppose previously "he" would always have been used & now in the 21stC that's not the case!

I would have used "they"-which is probably completely wrong!

Don't get it, do you mean a whole group of girls & boys all being called she collectively?? If that is what you mean then yanbu, it should be the word "they" that is used.