Would you judge a family with very little furntiure/belongings?

[allinsunshine]

Dh and I are in the middle of a 5 year plan to get ahead financially/career wise.

Part of this plan means we are living temporarily for around a year at a time in different locations. We hope to be in our forever home by 2016 :)

We have chosen to live very lightly and simply during this time and not collect many belongings/furniture along the way.

At present we are living in a flat which has plenty of built in shelving/cupboards.

All we have as far as furniture is 2 chairs, one desk, one large bean bag, a toddler chair and table, a toddler flip out sofa, highchair, mattresses for ds (2yr) and ourselves and a tv stand with tv.

We dont mind as even though we could get furniture cheaply (through freecycle etc) we know it would be a chore to get rid of again when we move.

I have got to know a few mothers and their children and have been to a few playdates at their very nice houses/flats of varying sizes/budgets but all nicely furnished and decorated.

Compared to their homes ours is very bare and modest. I would like to reciprocate the invitations but I would worry they would judge us about it.

We are both in our 30s so not in the student lifestyle category either.

So would you judge us if you came for a visit?

Also do you have an interesting way I could explain away/embellish our lifestyle choice without going into the details of our 5 year plan which would be very dull indeed.

Probably already been said but why don't you get stuff off free cycle and then rpfree cycle it to get rid of it when no longer needed.

I just free cycled a 3k suite to get rid of it. Believe me people bite your hand off to take anything free. You won't be stuck with it.

And I've had no living room carpet and no bathroom flooring for ten years. I'm sure people in the village judged. I always used to explain that I was waiting for dh to finish some DIY before doing flooring. Which was true, but after ten years it wears a bit thin!

But I now have flooring for the first time in years, my neighbour came round last night and was gob smacked!

I think you're taking minimalism to ridiculous extremes, op.
If you were moving in five months I wouldn't bat an eyelid; but you're planning to live like this, two chairs and some mattresses, for five years? . Why?
When your toddler starts going on playdates he'll wonder why everyone else's set up is so radically different, and his friends will ask him why his house looks the way it does.

Also, where's the financial advantage in moving every year? Do you really save money this way?

If I visited you and had to sit on hard desk chairs or beanbag, I would hesitate to come again, sorry. I hate sitting uncomfortably, and I don't think i'd get up from a beanbg without the use of cranes.

I would wonder where you relaxed. A kitchen chair is comfortable only so long after dinner.

The lack of places to sit would invite the thought that you never have people round, and I would wonder why.

I don't really get why you would not want to make your surroundings pleasant and comfortable. Even if it is a short term home. You can get all sorts for free, as others have mentioned. And getting shot of stuff is really not that difficult.

Have not read whole thread but agree with posters saying do not put life on hold.

In this day and age there is no need too. There is so much nice stuff around.

You can and my friends have, furnished their homes for nothing or very cheaply.

It depends on your perceptions.

I was astounded by one friend, who I know has virtually no money, and her house is gorgeous.

She got everything from charity shops, car boot sales, freecyle.

Your flat could look very nice, right now, for nothing, with some imagination. Look to blogs for inspirations. You do not need to wait to save up for ten years. Just get some paint, some ideas and make it nice now.

You only get one childhood.

I think I'd be a tad judgey about mattresses on the floor rather than beds, surely you could take beds with you when you move? In respect of everything else I think I'd be impressed!

I can't help feeling a bit sorry for your DS tbh, and I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. Do you not want to make his home comfortable and welcoming for him? As others have said, as he gets older he'll notice that his home is different and wonder why. I think with a little bit of effort you could make it nice, a few posters up maybe, a cheap dining set from ikea and a sofa. A year is a long time for a wee boy. Just because you have decided you don't need 'things' doesn't mean that you shouldn't try and make your current house a home, for the sake of your baby.

I have got four beds for the Dc on freecyle.

And people come and get stuff, as you know - sometimes within a few mins if they are close to get stuff off you on freecyle.

I would find it unusual particularly as free cycle etc have so much good furniture. Why would it br a chore to get rid of it if you move ? We've moved a few times but taken our furniture with us - this was important when the DT's were little - the new house might be strange but their beds, chairs etc were familiar to them. Although the DT's are teenagers now we try and always eat our evening meal together at the table - this sometimes does take some work with everyone's different schedules. Meals on your knee - I can count on one hand how often this happens.

I wouldnt judge at all. I used to live with dh with a living room with 2 directors chairs and an overturned milk crate with a telly on. We lived liked that for a year. Things like that dont phase me at all.

I would judge, but not because of the lack of stuff or how the house looks - but the act that as others have said you are putting your life on hold so very much during your son's formative years when you should be enjoying it. Life is a gift to be enjoyed! You don't have to live on hard chairs and beanbags just because you may move - just take the lot with you for goodness' sake! That is what removal vans are for!

I want you to imagine how you would feel if in 2015 something happened that meant your dreams were not going to be as you planned - how would you feel then about your 3+ years of living this way?

It's good to have a long-term plan but surely you should be enjoying your son, your DP and your lives now too?

I have lived in Japan where the furnishings you describe (minus the chairs) would be absolutely the standard in many middle class families.

It is simply not necessary to have so much stuff!

I would not judge at all.

Popcornia - possibly. How awful if I'm outed on MN by a post about my lack of carpets!

I would definitely notice and be wondering why you were living like that. I think I would wonder if you had money problems or something like that.

I do think your life sounds very disjointed. Never eating meals together, always moving, and the lack of furniture seems to add to that.
You have your mattress, DS has his - but you have no communal furniture. No sofa, no dining table or even a kitchen table to be a family together. Perhaps that doesn't seem important to you now, but children need some stability. Your DS won't care about your plan.

And I too think it is very strange to put your life on hold in this way when your DC are so little.

I don't think your son minds at all, he needs love and attention.

The mattress issue is a real one though, the slats in the bedframe are there for ventilation, if the mattress is flat on the floor it can't air.

We have always had a table to sit round and we have had meals together even before we had kids. Our eldest is a teenager now and we all sit and eat and talk together. Every day. It's part of our family life I couldn't inagine being without a dining table.

No, I wouldn't judge on lack of furniture. I would not even be put off by knowing you won't stay long. But then I've moved around a lot.

Think it's a great shame this master plan coincides with your childs early years. Is a "forever house" (is there really such a thing) so important that your child has to sleep on a mattress for five years.

Tell us the plan. I am so curious. Or pm me.

Talk of a 'forever home ' and 5 year plan sounds to me like you're waiting to live. Which I find sad.

Df and I have a '3 year plan'. This time in 3 years we aim to be married (and had a lovely wedding) and moved to a much better area. So we are compromising on how we live over those three years. However...that three year plan could easily be a one year plan. If we wanted to completely sacrifice any standard of living for the next year

Personally I don't think it's worth it.

We had loads of clutter and stuff. Even my mind was cluttered. Keeping a house tidy and organised was next to impossible. I felt overwhelmed despite trying hard.

Then in 2012 I took about 13 car loads to the skip, 13 bin bags to the charity shop and freecycled tons. My life is simpler and more straight forward. I can't tell you just how much happier I am.

I there for conclude that the less stuff I have the more happier I am. Saying that, we do own a lovely home.

A sofa and dining table are not clutter, they're reasonable accoutrements to civilised living.

I like a mattress on the floor. Always have. Life long student I am.

I think if you told people you were saving for a house deposit, many questions would fade.

You could always pick a sofa up on freecycle if need be.

However I love how people live so differently - whole families living on boats, or in those tent things.

A sofa and dining table can be picked up via free cycle. Free.

I think a dining table and sofa are desirable but not essential. Obviously a dining table is practical/social but many people world over don't own one.

I'm a little bit shocked at how much value so many people are placing on stuff. Living with very very basic furniture doesn't mean a dour and miserable existance. It can be great fun. Being warm, being able to get clean, having healthy food, spending time playing and being surrounded by love - that's what a small child needs. A sofa really isn't vital.

We live pretty frugally, and actually have a lot more fun with less expenditure and less stuff. Our kids have a better time, too, and will hopefully have the very big benefit of having plenty of time with us as we will soon be pretty much financially independent, and able to spend lots of time with them as they gow up.