Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have taken my DS back to the shop he stole from to confess?

90 replies

ElectricSoftParade · 10/06/2013 19:37

My DS stole a bar of chocolate and a Turkish Delight from our local shop, I think at the weekend.

I found the wrappers under his bed today as I was cleaning his room. Asked him about them (as I knew we didn't have them in the house), he confessed straight away and appeared ashamed.

I decided to take him down to the shop to apologise and to pay for the stolen stuff. Spoke to the manager (who I know) and he gave DS a right talking-to. DS has apologised and is, now, ashamed.

DH reckons I went over-the-top. I don't. I think DS will certainly think before doing it again and just hope he doesn't. DS is 8.

WIBU to do this?

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 10/06/2013 19:38

Excellent idea. No way over the top. Stealing is not a victimless crime!

HeadFairy · 10/06/2013 19:39

Definitely not over the top. Absolutely right he should learn that stealing is shameful and wrong.

BarbarianMum · 10/06/2013 19:40

I don't think so, but I'm sure lots of people will be along in a minute to tell you he's just a baby and your a terrible mother Smile.

Things like this, best to nip them in the bud I think. Being told off and made to apologise to the person you stole from seems pretty fair. Now you can just put it behind you.

DramaAlpaca · 10/06/2013 19:40

Well done you.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 10/06/2013 19:40

I think you played it exactly right and I'm sure he won't do again! Did he say why he didn't just ask for chocolate rather than stealing it?

Goldmandra · 10/06/2013 19:40

No I don't think you went over the top as long as the matter is now considered dealt with.

He has done something that he knew was wrong, he has suffered the natural consequences, apologised and made amends.

That seems fine to me.

Blu · 10/06/2013 19:41

Not at all!
Good move.
If you had'nt gone back and made him pay it would have suggested that the lack of actual payment was less important.
But now it is done leave it behind and let him enjoy the feeling of being good and trustworthy now he has learned his lesson.

Stressedtothehilt · 10/06/2013 19:41

I did the same to my dd when she was 6 but she had only stole two penny sweets , mean mother I am

freddiefrog · 10/06/2013 19:41

No, I don't think it's over the top in the slightest

I did the same to my DD around the same age. She stole a packet of Haribo, which I made her return to the shop and apologise to the manager. The manager was a friend of mine and I got her to give DD a talking to.

BabeRuthless · 10/06/2013 19:42

This is exactly what I would have done. I'd be absolutely mortified if it happened to us as the owner is so lovely to ds. You did the right thing & he'll have learned a very important lesson.

LeoTheLateBloomer · 10/06/2013 19:42

Absolutely right. He'll not be doing it again in a hurry.

NumTumDeDum · 10/06/2013 19:42

Absolutely the right thing. My sister got caught and my mum did the same. Thereafter mum insisted she had a receipt for every single thing she brought home.

littleducks · 10/06/2013 19:43

I think you did right, lucky the shop keeper knew you (though probably very embarrassing) and was able to have a word too.

invicta · 10/06/2013 19:43

Well done you!

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 10/06/2013 19:43

No, you were right.
The fact he hid the wrappers shows he knows what he did was wrong.

Maybe the manager was a bit more stern because she knew you and had your authority (rather than some parents who would be Shock because their PFB wouldn't DO such a thing)

In a while, you can bring it up with your DS to see if the message has hit home.

(MY DS 'lifted' some lipsticks when he was 2.6yo and I brought baby DD home from hospital. He was in his backcarrier and I guess he thought they were pens. DH only realised when DS drew on him.
We still wind him up about him kleptomaniac ways. Thankfully it was a one-off)

Original poster
ElectricSoftParade · 10/06/2013 19:44

He said he was really, really hungry and needed the sweets Hmm.

So I asked him why he didn't just ask me and he said he knew I would say no to the sweets. To bloody right, we had been out for lunch on Saturday and he had had a pudding as well. Little toad.

So, I have said it is done now but that I am so disappointed with his behaviour. He is now in bed and, with any luck, tomorrow will be a better day.

OP posts:
SanityClause · 10/06/2013 19:44

What ^Goldmandra* said.

SanityClause · 10/06/2013 19:45

Ooops. Bold fail.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 10/06/2013 19:45

70isa, that made me laugh!

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 10/06/2013 19:48

Loads of kids try it Electric, don't be too sad about it. My brother once decided to steal sweets from various shops that my mum took us too and she didn't realise until some dropped out of his sleeve, he didn't even have an explanation and he was usually angelic!

mikkii · 10/06/2013 19:53

I think you did the right thing. If a few more people set a good example and/or stamped hard on the small low level offences, perhaps there might be a few less big offences.

Sunnywithshowers · 10/06/2013 19:55

YANBU. That's exactly what my DM did when my DB stole sweets.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/06/2013 19:55

My mum did this to my brother when he was about 11.

I would do the same.

Stanislas · 10/06/2013 19:56

Well done!

MrsDeVere · 10/06/2013 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.