Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

....to hate my IL's?

67 replies

gemdotcom · 10/06/2013 16:47

Ok, so I dislike them 80% of the time, but this just takes the cake!

DS3 had a football tournament on Saturday. DH was at work so we couldn't take him. The IL's volunteered!

After a lengthy phone call Friday night on directions and 'we're taking a picnic because you know how expensive the food is at those kind of places'. I got his kit ready and plenty of drinks (2 lucozades and 4 cartons of juice). I also slipped DS a fiver to get more drinks and an ice cream for the way home.

Sunday afternoon, when he came back from grandparents. I asked him about his day. to which he replied he didn't have an ice cream and he wanted another drink but Nanny didn't get him one! 'Did you drink all of those I sent you?', 'Yeah, and nan and grandad had some too'!!!!!!!

Turns out his nan had his fiver! While sitting in my house moaning that the bottles of water were £1 each and I had to give DS half of it as he was thirsty!!!!

WTF!!!!!!!

OP posts:
cornypedicure · 10/06/2013 16:49

are you sure she took the money? Shock

pictish · 10/06/2013 16:49

Think I would speak to them calmly about it first.

FobblyWoof · 10/06/2013 16:50

So she took his fiver? And then refused to get more drinks Confused

Yeah, I'd be totally pissed at this, even if it hadn't been such a sunny day or DS wasn't doing something active. That's awful

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 10/06/2013 16:52

So call them and say "since X didn't spend his £5, you can either pop it into my bank account or bring it round. Which are you going to do?"

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 10/06/2013 16:55

Is there any chance they thought the £5 was for petrol money?

Is it possible they thought that some of the juice was meant for them too?

I would calmly discuss the issue with them, and explain that you meant the juice to be for just your son, and the £5 was for treats for him only.

GlitterFingers · 10/06/2013 16:59

They wouldn't get him a drink because it was expensive Confused

MisselthwaiteManor · 10/06/2013 17:03

They took a picnic, didn't they have their own drinks? I can't see how they thought the juice was also for them. Or the money.

Ask for it back!

ApocalypseThen · 10/06/2013 17:06

Yeah, who do they think they are, supposing you might have packed a drink for them?

schobe · 10/06/2013 17:08

Did you not offer to pack them some food/drinks or give them some money after they hinted fairly broadly?

Ok they're tight, but they were doing you and your DS a favour.

ApocalypseThen · 10/06/2013 17:12

In fairness though, the OP is tight enough herself for all her complaints about what the in-laws bought or didn't buy. She begrudges them a carton of juice!

Jan49 · 10/06/2013 17:18

Surely if your ds took 6 drinks with him and there were 3 people, they'd have assumed the drinks were to share? I wouldn't expect 6 drinks to be for one child. As long as they provided some food, I would forget about the £5. It sounds like they saw it as a contribution to the picnic. Did you intend the £5 to be for all 3 to buy icecream and drinks?

3littlefrogs · 10/06/2013 17:22

TBH, I would have provided a picnic and drinks for everyone. I would have offered petrol money.

ComposHat · 10/06/2013 17:25

Surely if your ds took 6 drinks with him and there were 3 peoplethey'd have assumed the drinks were to share? I wouldn't expect 6 drinks to be for one child

Me too! If the in-laws were good enough to help you out by taking your son to the football, it would have been the bare minimum for you to make a picnic for all three of them or given them the money for the food. Why should they be out of pocket as a result?

Foisting your child on them and then expecting them to make provision for him and then throwing a hissy fit when they have a sip out of one of the SIX drinks you sent him with, isn't really on at all.

MaxPepsi · 10/06/2013 17:30

I wouldn't expect to be provided with food and drink for something I'd volunteered to do.

And 6 drinks when he was playing in a football tournament is not excessive.

I take my nephew and nieces out. They get given money by their parents. No bloody way would I keep it. It's theirs to spend as they wish. I might look after it for them but if it wasn't spend it would be going home with them.

Original poster
gemdotcom · 10/06/2013 17:37

Jeez, you lot sound like my husband! Can't anyone have a good old fashioned rant and be universally agreed with! Grin hahaha

I know how much he drinks, especially when being active. And it's not the first time they've 'shared' the kids tea or ate the flapjack I've made for school lunches!

They just grate on me!!!! I do appreciate them taking him, but I'm really annoyed that they had money and wouldn't buy him a drink!

Seriously, would most people expect the drinks were for everyone!?...... Better sharpie his name on next time haha

OP posts:
KittyPryde · 10/06/2013 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComposHat · 10/06/2013 17:47

Seriously, would most people expect the drinks were for everyone!?..

if I was going to be giving up my day as a favour and would have to shell out for drinks that I wouldn't have otherwise bought....then yes.

Jan49 · 10/06/2013 17:48

There's nothing wrong with ranting but I don't think they did anything wrong here. You need a better example of something awful they've done, then we can all agree.Grin

SgtTJCalhoun · 10/06/2013 17:51

As an ADULT It would not occur to me to consume drinks provided for a CHILD who is playing football that I had offered to give a lift. I am really surprised that people think this s ok. And to take his spending money too Shock

mercibucket · 10/06/2013 17:51

if it was a footie tournament, it should be clear the drinks were for him, but the fiver is maybe a contribution in general. better to give it to them and ask them to buy food/ice cream for him

CloudsAndTrees · 10/06/2013 17:54

I don't think they did anything wrong with sharing the drinks. I don't think they did anything wrong by spending the fiver on drinks.

They are weird if they begrudge sharing half a bottle of water with either I grandson who is playing Football!

ComposHat · 10/06/2013 17:56

It wasn't just a lift! It was spending all day saturday with him at the football tournament and feeding him throughout the day. The kid didn't come back home til Sunday which suggests an overnight stay.

The fact the op didn't give a second thought for the In-laws comfort or the fact they would be shelling out to feed her child didn't cross her mind, speaks volumne.

jkklpu · 10/06/2013 17:56

I certainly would think the drinks were for everyone. I'd have packed a large bottle of (tap) water for my ds and drinks and a picnic for everyone.

Original poster
gemdotcom · 10/06/2013 17:58

if I was going to be giving up my day as a favour and would have to shell out for drinks that I wouldn't have otherwise bought....then yes.

Objection Your Honour..... They volunteered! :)

How about showing up to a school play in matching soup stained jumpers! Blush

Well thank you Nm's for putting a different perspective on it, it was in danger of turning into a '.....and your bloody mother/father' nights hahaha

OP posts:
mynewpassion · 10/06/2013 18:00

If they hadn't volunteered would ds have gone to the tournament?

Swipe left for the next trending thread