To give up on controlled crying after just one night

[1Veryhungrycaterpillar]

My six month old has reverted to waking between 3 and 5 times a night and I am like the walking dead and need energy as he is one of three DCs. Last night my DH said that I had to try leaving him to cry it out which I couldn't bear but compromised on controlled crying instead. It was horrendous and I hated every minute of it but should I persevere, does it work? Or should I just put him in bed with me to get some sleep? Ididn't have a problem with the other two hence me being clueless Help!

You, asked, I answered. In any future posts, maybe specify that you only want to engage with people who agree with you.

If anybody really understood what baby-related sleep deprivation really looks like before they had a baby, the human race would die out.

Six or twenty-six months of the kind of sleep deprivation used at Gitmo is not what I understood by "babies wake up a lot". I had no fucking idea that it is normal for babies not to sleep through within a few weeks. I had no idea that each night feed might last an hour.

I don't want to inflame any existing arguments but just wanted to add, that I do find I sleep FAR better if I am in the same bed, or right next to, the baby concerned - having to get up and go to another room etc would probably make me about 50 times more exhausted than simply rolling over in bed.
As it is I don't even remember how many times he wakes.

Toys is that necessary> I don't think the OP needs to be talked to like that really.

Btw OP - what does he do when he wakes? Is he in your room...does he actually cry...does he root for the breast or bottle? (hungry etc)

Does he seem to have wind and be in that sort of pain? (I find jiggling mine helps a bit)

I agree that there is always a reason. It's dealing with the reason that is your answer probably.

Thanks Rooney. Toys, you are not disagreeing with me you are suggesting I find my baby an inconvenience because I attempted one night of controlled crying, I'm trying very hard not to lower myself to your vicious and frankly baffling verbal assault, now do one!

Well, OP, I DO disagree with what you're doing, but forgot to sugar coat it. Meh.

What I did not what I'm doing. In fact you are entirely right about all of it, happy now? Good, now bye bye x

We've just done it for dd who is neau one. I still give her one feed a night but she was getting up every hour crying.
I went in and settled her then left the room and sat outside. And repeat until she fell asleep.
I didn't think she was ready for it before now but looking back I had a few months rubbish sleep and could have done it a bit sooner.

There, there..

You poor thing x

We did CC but at 10 months. It took 3 nights I think, with each getting shorter. It worked and everyone (DS included) was much happier

I don't think he would have been ready for it any younger tbh

I really rated it and we got good results, but if it really doesn't feel right to you, don't do it.

We co-slept from about 3 months - 6 months which was a godsend, but I wouldn't want a child in my bed long term - some people don't seem to mind though and it really made a difference when I was breast feeding seemingly every minute of the night.

I'm trying to perfect the lying down feed as we speak Catgirl! Did you have any problems transferring baby to cot when the time came?

No he was fine going into his cot (which surprised me), he just didnt sleep through until a lot later but he didn't seem to mind the cot transition at all

Lying down bfing saved my life. Persevere with it if you can, it really does help.

DS was a terrible sleeper so you have my sympathies. It is hard, but you know it gets better x Do you ebf? Could you express a bit in a bottle so your DP could do some night feeds and give you a break?

Yes he's EBF but is a little tyke that won't take a bottle, I've tried several types but in fairness he might be more likely to accept one from DH

Ah :( That's tough

He might take one from your DH - it's worth a try

Once we had co-sleeping mastered it really did help as I barely woke up and he just snuffled around and latched on.

Funnily enough, I was always too scared to do it and my DM banged on about the dangers

Until one day she said "When you were little, I had a double bed in your room and I used to feed you lying down in that. Sometimes I fell asleep and stayed there with you all night. I don't hold with this dangerous, co-sleeping nonsense."

I guess they just didn't have a name for it back then :)

When I did breast feed lying down for the first time it was a real "why did no one tell me" moment. I had ruined my back spending hours hunched over at the edge of my bed :)

I really hope whatever you do works for you soon and you get some unbroken sleep. x

Thanks catgirl

Did you not get much sleep either Toys, or are you always this cranky when someone is struggling a bit?

Co sleeping is perfectly safe done properly I agree with catgirl I dont buy into the dangerous nonsense.

Dd3 was up every 30/40 minutes for 11 months co-sleeping reduced that hugely, then we started putting her I her cot at her bedtime until I went to bed then took her in with me for a couple of months then we just put her in her cot and she now sleeps all night. Broken sleep is horrible op I feel your pain but it does get better!

There are gentler methods than CC, and at 6 months old it's perfectly normal for a baby to want a night feed or two. Obviously if it's 7 times a night then I agree the OP needs to make changes, but I'd really recommend trying pick up/put down or No Cry Sleep Solution first.

Cat: You are right to point out that I'm maybe a bit too harsh on this individual OP. However, while I have understand her predicament, I am just pointing out that having 3 kids was never going to be a walk in the park.

I know many people enter parenthood with lack of knowledge of the realities, which is due to a general silence/censorship on important issues like sleep. However, the third baby is not any less worthy/needing of attention than the first, so unless you think you can hack 3 non-sleeping children, IMO, you shouldn't have that many (would be better for the planet, as well ). You are allowed to moan, though.

This is all theoretical of course and you are more than welcome to disagree.

Also, for an uniformly gentle approach, the Sleep topic would be better than AIBU.

Have you tried teething powders? My 2 dds really settled and calmed down after sprinkling them on!

Toys - I didn't point that out (although I think you have been a bit harsh)

I do sometimes wonder if a lot of the people who are very anti-cc (a lot, not all) have had relatively easier babies and haven't got to the stage the OP is at. I am sure there are some who have battled through with non sleepers and stuck to their guns and not used cc, but where the OP is tough as hell so a little support goes a long way. And a little criticism can really, really hurt when you are exhausted and feeling guilty to start with.

We all do our best.

cc is awful. we tried it with dd1 and sat gritting our teeth as she screamed and screamed. When it sort of shut off with a horrible gurgle we went in to find her choking on her own vomit. we never tried it again.
Its cruel and traumatising.

No, I didn't have easier babies. I had babies that woke up a lot during the night (particularly DS1 because he was a bit early and very small so fed little and often) but we co-slept so both of us had minimal disturbance and were able to get back to sleep quickly. No crying involved.