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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these so called 'people in need' are taking the piss??

128 replies

HenriettaPye · 07/06/2013 16:16

I'm on a group in Facebook which helps each other out with giving away things you no longer need, which others might. I've gave away some of my old baby things to people who have genuinely needed them. However there are some people taking the total piss on it! Just been on a wee look and today alone someone has posted
'anyone giving away an iPod? Not the shuffle one, I want one with a screen'
And-
'Anyone a laptop they don't want anymore?

AIBU to think this is not asking for help, but fully taking advantage?

One did make me laugh though- someone wrote 'anyone giving away any size 5 sandals? I only have boots and its too warm to wear them in this weather.' And someone replied 'go to primark and buy a pair of £1 flip flops!!

OP posts:
lottieandmia · 07/06/2013 16:18

YABU - nobody has to give away anything unless they actually want to.

You know the saying - if you don't ask you don't get.

morethanpotatoprints · 07/06/2013 16:21

Maybe the laptop is for the dc to do homework.
You used to be able to get a brand new one from gov, if you were low income, for this purpose.
If you don't have the money those things are expensive.

GoodbyePorkPie · 07/06/2013 16:24

Is it for 'people in need', or is it 'giving away things that you no longer need', because you've said both.

I've used Freecycle to give away and receive things, I'm not really 'in need', I thought arrangements like that were simply meant to give away/receive stuff, regardless of how much you earn or have.

Cloverer · 07/06/2013 16:27

If it's for people to give away things they don't want to people who do want them, then who cares if people ask for things?

Unless it is specifically some kind of charity thing Confused

I've given away and received things on Freecycle and am not particularly in need and haven't quizzed people who've had things from me.

Original poster
HenriettaPye · 07/06/2013 16:34

No it's not a charity, the group is called A Helping Hand, and the info is 'a friendly helping hand for those in need. Please if you find someone has accepted something on this group- do not be judgemental as you may find yourself in this position some day.'

This just makes me think that it's for things people actually need- like I gave my Moses basket and bedding to a girl who's having a baby young and just moved out of her parents so doesn't have much money to spare. I don't think iPods or laptops are a necessity, and think its rather cheeky to ask for them! These are t

OP posts:
Original poster
HenriettaPye · 07/06/2013 16:35

Things which are expensive to buy- just comes across as people wanting something for nothing IMO!

OP posts:
BridgetBidet · 07/06/2013 16:36

I've given away a PC before via one of those sites. Incidentally if you are unemployed and looking for a job then a laptop can be an absolute boon to finding one. Just because you want a laptop doesn't mean you're not in need.

rockybalboa · 07/06/2013 16:38

Not unlike Freecycle in that some people will be genuinely in need and others will just be freeloaders. I Freecycled a load of baby clothes to a woman I chose from the squillions of responses because she says was she pg with twins. I even dropped the giant bagful off at her house. Saw her several times over the next few months, definitely no twins and I suspect she'd eBayed the lot. But you know what, I didn't care. I couldn't be bothered to eBay it and she could. Although I'd prob give to charity instead if I had my time over again as at least you feel some good is being done.

Damnautocorrect · 07/06/2013 16:39

I saw someone ask for a car on free cycle once

badtime · 07/06/2013 16:40

For some people with certain physical disabilities or psychiatric disorders, it is difficult or impossible to get out of the house. These people in a very real sense need internet access, so they can buy food, have some sort of social life etc. In cases like this, if their computer has broken they would need a laptop. I am not saying this is the case here, just that you can't make a blanket statement that a laptop isn't a necessity.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 07/06/2013 16:43

Well, OP, if anybody from that group posts here, they'll know what you think of them, won't they?

Many things aren't a 'necessity' but how many of us would be prepared to go back to the times when these things were only available to the super-rich.

You sound a bit sneery in your enjoyment of this group and your flip-flops comment didn't strike me as funny. I might have shoes that I wouldn't want the hassle of listing on ebay and be quite glad to give them to someone who could use them. Only little and insignificant people look down.

lurkerspeaks · 07/06/2013 16:44

Try not having a computer.

I used to live in a very deprived area of south london. I used the library heavily. I was always astounded at how many people were there primarily to use the PCs. This was around 10 years ago when the internet wasn't so pervasive (ie I had only just got broadband at home) but I don't think the lot of those on benefits has increased dramatically to suddenly enable low incomve families to purchase computers.

Trying to apply for a job now without internet access is almost impossible.

Juniperdewdropofbrandy · 07/06/2013 16:48

I get what you're saying OP. But I suppose there may be people who do have a spare ipod?

I looked on freecycle the other day for old paving slabs, broken ones would do as it's for my allotment paths. But there was someone asking for a conservatory Grin How do you give one of those away?? I wonder if it's just someone having a laugh? I've seen cars and boats asked for. One said boat must be speedboat Grin A joke surely?

ihearsounds · 07/06/2013 16:49

So the site have asked people not to judge, and yet here you are.
You don't know why these people are requiring these items. Even Ipods with the screen can be a very useful thing. There is a lot of sensory and aac programs that work with apple products that simply don't work with other products.
The laptop, I got a friend one from free cycle. I suppose though that this person wasn't in need because it's just a luxury.

KentishWine · 07/06/2013 16:50

'anyone giving away any size 5 sandals? I only have boots and its too warm to wear them in this weather.

This makes me really, really sad. I hope she finds some. Sad

ihearsounds · 07/06/2013 16:50

Oh and try telling the government a pc is a luxury. Claims now to be made on line. Libraries closed down.

tiktok · 07/06/2013 16:52

I have freecycled a desktop computer and an oldish laptop. Both times they went to people who didn't really need them, and both of them ran their own small businesses. But hey - I didn't want the things any more, I didn't want the hassle of trying to sell them to get no more than a few quid - and I didn't want them to go to landfill. Why would you resent people making use of things you don't need any more?

I'd have given away spare sandals, too.

What does it matter?

likesnowflakesinanocean · 07/06/2013 16:54

I'm on my second day of waiting for people picking up unopened sma formula tubs. it is pissing me off no end that I'm giving it away free and they can't be arsed turning up on timeAngry.

Nokidshere · 07/06/2013 17:04

Why does it matter what people ask for? No-one has to give anything they don't want to do they?

Someone asked for a mobile phone on fb yesterday, I had one spare so I gave it. It gets used and my house has one less thing in it.

PeggyCarter · 07/06/2013 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsjay · 07/06/2013 17:21

yabu of course you are it is a give away group so if people want an Ipod or laptop tis a bit cheeky to ask these sites/groups are for want not need. nobody can say oh it is for the poor needy people

mrsjay · 07/06/2013 17:22

its a bit cheeky to ask but why now* (is what I meant to say)

noisytoys · 07/06/2013 17:40

We have a giving group but there are no wanted posts allowed and its first come first served. And you have to give as much as you take. It works well Smile

lainiekazan · 07/06/2013 17:46

I don't understand why Freecycle doesn't stop the "Wanted" posts. My local one has one "Offer" post to about 100 "wanted" ones and it is ridiculous what people are asking for. Not basics, or unusual things which you might not be able to buy any more, but top-of-the-range pushchairs and so on. Does anyone actually respond to these people?

ilovesooty · 07/06/2013 17:51

If you are on JSA and don't use Universal Job Match to upload your CV and apply for so many jobs a week online you lose your benefits.

People asking for a laptop are "taking the piss" are they? Hmm

How wonderful it must be for you, sitting on your sneery, judgmental little cloud.