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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think a handbag is not unprofessional?

66 replies

Xiaoxiong · 06/06/2013 09:49

I am embroiled in an argument with my mum and aunt (her sister). Both in their 50s.

I had some photos taken yesterday for a hedge fund website. I was carrying a black leather handbag (this one if it matters!) I bought it when I returned after maternity leave to feel more professional and put together. It's waterproof smart, and fits my laptop, A4 files and everything I need without being monstrous or fashion victim-y. I have seen other women in the City with the exact same bag.

They told me it was unprofessional and I should carry a laptop style briefcase - the kind that is given out for free at conferences with a logo on the side.

They said men associate women with shopping and statement handbags are therefore unprofessional because they will make clients think you're some sort of label-obsessed airhead. A huge shiny laptop briefcase with a bank logo (not even our own logo!) apparently sends the right image of a confident professional woman. If I don't want to carry a briefcase apparently no bag at all is a better alternative than my black leather handbag Hmm

I think they are being U and stuck in some 80s time warp, thinking we have to out macho the men to be taken seriously. They think I am U for not listening to their years of experience.

FWIW I did my first investment banking internship in 2002 and have worked full time in the City since 2008 in a formal office environment so not exactly a neophyte but apparently as they are 25 years older they will always know better.

AIBU?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 06/06/2013 09:54

I disagree with them. Part of being an individual is about celebrating that and I would have thought handbags for women would be standard now.

I hate to reference Thatcher and the Queen but if they can manage it so can you.

specialsubject · 06/06/2013 09:56

cobblers. No-one notices or cares what you carry your stuff around in, as long as it isn't bright pink or covered in obvious silly logos. (This is why designer handbags are a waste of money!)

ignore.

Tee2072 · 06/06/2013 09:57

They are wrong. You are right.

What a briefcase with a logo not of your company says about you, whether a man or a woman, is 'I can't be arsed to care what I carry and I'm a cheapskate.'

FruOla · 06/06/2013 09:58

I'm in my 50s and that handbag looks absolutely fine to me, it's obviously practical enough to carry everything that you need - both work and personal.

Why would they think you need to carry a rinky dink handbag plus a laptop bag?

Don't listen to them Grin

ChunkyPickle · 06/06/2013 09:59

I disagree too - logoed laptop bags don't scream professional to me, they scream 'I got this free with my laptop' or 'my company sent me on a pointless, expensive training course'

A well put-together laptop/handbag is the equivalent of a briefcase (or those leather messenger bags/satchels that the cool people carry), it's certainly what I go for over some tacky plastic laptop shoulder bag.

QuintessentialOldDear · 06/06/2013 09:59

They havent got a clue. Laptop briefcases are SO out.

I am going to order your bag. JUST what I have been looking for!

SybilRamkin · 06/06/2013 10:01

Load of bobbins. YANBU.

katgod · 06/06/2013 10:04

I have that bag. I work in the City. They are wrong.

MidniteScribbler · 06/06/2013 10:06

I'm ordering that bag. But in shark. Exactly what I've been looking for. Thanks OP!

I'm a teacher, does it say too professional, or trying to look above her station? Eh, who gives a fuck, it's puuurrdy!!

They know nothing OP, you know cool!

FobblyWoof · 06/06/2013 10:07

They're wrong.

If you were swinging a handbag covered in cats off your arm then maybe they might have a point.

That bag if wonderful by the way

nextphase · 06/06/2013 10:12

They are wrong.
The 2 girls in this department who havae ditched the dell standard laptop bag that comes with our work laptops have both been complimented on their choices and how smart they look

cheep skate me

and a radley one

You are in the right!

FreudiansSlipper · 06/06/2013 10:27

You are right

Your bag is a smart work bag big enough to carry an iPad or laptop and purse and other bits

MackerelOfFact · 06/06/2013 10:34

You're totally right. That bag is lovely.

Freebie laptop bags are always made out of crudely woven polyester and straps that make your clothes bobble. And they're ugly. Plus who even uses laptops as a portable business device any more?!

TBH the only people I tend to see using those freebie laptop bags (tote and jute bags are different) are just-past-middle-aged men who have stains down their trousers and greasy hair. Not a professional look.

fluffiphlox · 06/06/2013 10:37

I have that bag in tan (and the matching purse), for the exact same reasons. I am in my fifties. (That may be more off-putting for you than the fact that your Mum disapproves.)
It is perfect for the City I think.

BiddyPop · 06/06/2013 10:37

I had looked at that EXACT bag a couple of weeks ago (sadly my bank balance can't cover it yet - but I am considering once it recovers again) as I need a replacement. I have a very cheap M&S bag to cover me in the meantime (as a weekday and weekend once - I'll use it at weekends still once I get a proper one again).

For a professional woman, I think that a decent bag that doesn't scream "girly handbag" but says "have my papers here, and I'm ready to work on your issues" is important. And yet can carry the necessary keys, phone, money and emergency lipstick/comb/nailfile, discretely.

Am definitely on your side on this!!

Andro · 06/06/2013 10:41

I wouldn't carry it myself (not my style), but it looks perfectly fine for a professional woman - doesn't send the wrong impression at all.

Lilymaid · 06/06/2013 10:41

I'm of a similar age to your Mum/Aunt and I would consider your bag entirely suitable for work in the City (and I work there, so should know).
I like Knomo bags.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 06/06/2013 10:42

I have that bag in tan.

Unfortunately it doesn't fit my laptop in. Or half of my rubbish, to be honest, so I've used it once and it's in the wardrobe somewhere.

Everyone liked it, though, it got tons of compliments.

whoknowsyou · 06/06/2013 10:50

Mrs Thatcher and The Queen carried/carry handbags.

I've never considered either of them to be in the slightest bit unprofessional.

Enough said

Latara · 06/06/2013 10:50

My sister's boss is a successful businesswoman in a male-dominated industry; never without her handbag, make-up and jewellery.

Mrs Thatcher always carried a handbag and she was scary.

Handbags that look smart and are practical are very professional IMO.

TheCraicDealer · 06/06/2013 10:50

I have that exact same bag. They're wrong. I'm not using something that was given out for free at a conference with some other company's logo on it [snob]

Latara · 06/06/2013 10:51

(I don't mean that you will be as scary as Mrs Thatcher if you have a handbag obviously!)

EldritchCleavage · 06/06/2013 10:54

Your mother and aunt are wrong.
Carrying a freebie logo'ed bag will give quite the wrong impression. Apart from anything else, it just isn't smart, and we all know people (esp in a City context) judge women for the crime of not being smart.

Your handbag is lovely, professional and practical.

I'm in my 40s, umpteen years into a professional career, so I KNOW.

Onesleeptillwembley · 06/06/2013 10:55

They sound as if the'd have you in shoulder pads as well. It is a very outdated view, your bag is spot on, but I am surprised at their ages, I'd have expected that from someone a bit older. Have they not worked since the 70/80s? Being totally out of touch could be a reason.

gail734 · 06/06/2013 10:56

They are behind the times. When laptops first became popular, women didn't have much choice but to haul them around in ugly laptop bags. Now they're so ubiquitous that I'm sure handbag designers include laptop pockets to attract professional, stylish women.
Bizarrely, I used to have an argument with an ex boyfriend which was a kind of upside-down version of yours with your mum and sister. I had a lovely Radley bag which was roughly like a briefcase, but in nice soft leather and with rounded corners. I didn't have a laptop in it (I'm a teacher). He used to smirk at it and say, "You do realise that's a laptop bag, right?"