To think a handbag is not unprofessional?

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I am embroiled in an argument with my mum and aunt (her sister). Both in their 50s.

I had some photos taken yesterday for a hedge fund website. I was carrying a black leather handbag (this one if it matters!) I bought it when I returned after maternity leave to feel more professional and put together. It's waterproof smart, and fits my laptop, A4 files and everything I need without being monstrous or fashion victim-y. I have seen other women in the City with the exact same bag.

They told me it was unprofessional and I should carry a laptop style briefcase - the kind that is given out for free at conferences with a logo on the side.

They said men associate women with shopping and statement handbags are therefore unprofessional because they will make clients think you're some sort of label-obsessed airhead. A huge shiny laptop briefcase with a bank logo (not even our own logo!) apparently sends the right image of a confident professional woman. If I don't want to carry a briefcase apparently no bag at all is a better alternative than my black leather handbag

I think they are being U and stuck in some 80s time warp, thinking we have to out macho the men to be taken seriously. They think I am U for not listening to their years of experience.

FWIW I did my first investment banking internship in 2002 and have worked full time in the City since 2008 in a formal office environment so not exactly a neophyte but apparently as they are 25 years older they will always know better.

AIBU?

Bear in mind, their opinion of "The City" is probably based ontv shows like The Apprentice. You know what it is actually like. That's a nice bag and I see a fair number of those around the City (I work there too).

I think it is slightly unusual to have any kind of bag in a work photo though.

I work in the city and carry exactly the same bag, as far as I'm concerned it is perfect for work, it is smart and practical without being too dull.

A logo cheap lap top bag would look awful, no matter what sex the person is.

Phew! I knew I wasn't BU and so pleased I have inspired some of to buy my bag. It fits my laptop fine but I guess it's only a 13" screen so a4 size. I got it half price in the John Lewis sale last summer so it does go on sale sometimes.

Euro I do have a normal headshot as well - this is for the sort of brochure-y banner intro of the website showing us walking through the City, sitting at a conference table, visiting a geothermal plant etc etc. so I was in a skirt suit and heels, silk scarf - and then they forced me to get rid of my nice bag and carry this hideous brown polyester laptop bag for most of the photos.

It's a nice bag. Very grown up and professional looking, I would expect the successful businesswomen I see around to have something like that rather than some cheapo laptop polyester pillow case.

It's not for me though, mine is bright pink leopard print Lipsy and I probably just made everyone vom thinking about it

What a great bag, just my taste. I think they are being old fashioned.

I wonder if TK Maxx would have it in stock!

^^ love that bag! Your relatives are stuck in the fifties.

I have worked in "the City" for over 10 years and have never once been told that my handbags (many and varied in size and colour) are anything but professional!

Oh I also do a nice line in fancy coloured shoes.

I think your mum and aunt are remarkably out of touch!

Love that bag, and I work in the city too.

OP, are the handles long enough to wear it over the shoulder?

Ok i used to work in the city, I also travelled all over the world for work.

Not that it should matter a drop but I was very high up, I was the only women at my level, and earnt a lot of money. I bas exactly like that and others very similar in about 15 different colours. Including ones that would be termed exotic. They style fit both my job and my working life perfectly and a free logoed "bank" breif case style laptop bag would give off a less professional standard and persona.

Your family I am afraid are totally wrong on this subject.

You can also in my experience go for much exotic colours if you treat them as an accent, so I have done a plan black suit, white shirt, with orange shoes, orange scarf and orange bag.

I have also done a dark blue suit, with a pale pink shirt, bag and shoes. But you will never go wrong with either black or tan depending on the colours of clothes you wear most often

The key to working at a high level in the city as a women, is to be in my experience "classic" "tailoured" and well coordinated. A practical bag (which these most definately) goes a long way to achieving that, the fact that it looks proffessional and is a quality only works in its favour.

Worked in the city for 20 years. The bag is spot on.

As, said, they are wrong.

I bought a similar bag for around a hundred pounds, it was less than half the retailers price from TK Maxx.

I love the bag. Totally the right style.

I need a new laptop bag (or a new laptop - an 11" macbook air would fit in all my existing handbags...) and am definitely looking for something smart like that not a badly made polyester bag with a logo from the WRONG company!

My Dad is just returning to work after a long period off. I've been helping him choose a leather manbag to tote his laptop in preference to nasty polyester. If anyone knows of a knock off of a mulberry brynmore please let me know!

I had a hidesign leather rucksack and looked very smart, while preserving my posture (I couldn't handle anything asymmetric any more).

YABU to embroiled in an argument with my mum and aunt

Tell them we all like it and they can now just STFU!!!

You're right.

Under no circumstances start taking career advice from your Mum and Aunt. They will undoubtedly be out of touch.

Thanks for the vote of confidence all

dramaqueen yes they are on the one I've got, though it will sit high under your arm so if you've got a pair of shoes in the middle pocket or stuffed it really full, it's easier to carry over your arm or like a briefcase (ironically).

I've just mentioned this thread to them and they said you are probably all secretaries or don't work in finance

Apparently my own experience is easily dismissed because I worked in a City law firm not an investment bank.

Oh they give me the absolute RAGE sometimes.

I'm an accountant. When I'm not using my metallic satchel, I'm carrying a BRIGHT PINK barrel bag with a 3d diamante skull on it. I manage the research funds of a national charity, and sit opposite a member of the House of Lords.

Please tell your mum and aunt that I said they can fuck off.

(I used to work in an investment bank. I carried a backpack. Pink and black it was)

you just wanted to show off your new handbag eh

god they sound like really old fashioned women can work and be professional and have a bag for their stuff do they think you should be more manly or something ? daft the pair of them YANBU

I love your bag, very stylish. I think it's just a generational difference of opinion.

you are probably all secretaries
Brilliant - are you sure they are in their 50's and not in their 80's!??
They just sound soooo old and old fashioned.
I'm not that far off of 50 and I know I won't have their kind of attitude.
Tell them it's 2013 not the 50's!

It's a black leather handbag. It's not as if it has "hello kitty" on it. Most people (not just most men, most PEOPLE) wouldn't identify it as a "statement handbag" but just as "a handbag".

I agree with Tee about free bags from conferences. 'I can't be arsed to care what I carry and I'm a cheapskate.'

Out of interest, what industry do they work in that means that they know more than you do about acceptable bag-carrying practises in your line of work ?

I work in an Investment Bank and I like you handbag.

• for info: I am not a secretary

"probably all secretaries or don't work in finance"

They get worse

I used to work in advertising and then in property - in London. A bag like that would be deemed to be perfectly normal for a woman in a professional career.