CocacolaMum · 06/06/2013 08:21
I have seen a few threads about demands for money being slipped in with wedding invites but it seems to be seeping over into other celebrations!!
This morning I got an invitation to a christening of a friends 8 and 1 yr old with a note declaring that although a present for both of the children would be nice they would prefer money so as not to have too much clutter around the house. AIBU to think this is just incredibly rude?!?!
Antisecco · 06/06/2013 08:27
Yes I'm afraid I think you are. I can't speak for the actual invitation you received of course but in general terms as long as it's nicely worded (I think 'clutter' sounds a bit sniffy!) then it's a perfectly reasonable request, given that people will usually want to give a present of some sort.
And it's one headache fewr for the giver!
But then I am part of a culture where giving money as gifts is pretty much the norm and certainly isn't considered vulgar!
Antisecco · 06/06/2013 08:37
Totally rude, entitled and grabby
I mean it's a bit forward to mentions present at all I suppose, but if that's a given why not money? How is this any more entitled than, say, a charm bracelet, or bit of plastic tat duplicate toy?
I think the OP's use of the word 'declare' is somewhat emotive...if I had received it, I would have taken it as a request or suggestion. (But as I said before if they actually said they don't want clutter, that's a bit hmmmm imho)
Having said that, donating the money to charity in the children's name is a lovely idea.
GingerCurry · 06/06/2013 08:38
Oh deary me...what sad news to hear.
But I suppose it was to be expected as the young money grabbers have had their wedding money targets to acheive, and now will be instilling these values onto their DC.
What next....round robin letters for school trip contributions?
Clutter! Unbelievably rude IMO
Antisecco · 06/06/2013 08:39
Oh well I am clearly in the minority. Maybe, as I'm Jewish, I don't really understand the whole Christening ethos anyway, though all my grandchildren have been christened and I've been to loads of others!
But in principle, money as presents? Sorted> I am always thrilled when this is an option!
Antisecco · 06/06/2013 08:42
All you people saying that asking for presents is okay but asking for money is 'grabby'...erm how do you normally pay for the presents?
Disclaimer (again) the use of the word clutter (if they did actually use the word and this is not the OP's interpretation, like 'declaring' clearly was) is out of order. No argument from me there. But requesting money in lieu of things...nope, can't see the problem.
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 06/06/2013 08:44
I think it is bad manners to ask for a gift of any kind under any circumstances.
Although I know I am in a minority.
I think that a gift is given, not demanded and therefore the polite thing to do is to accept graciously anything that is given to you and only mention what you would like if asked.
Which is normally fine because it's also good manners to make sure you know what people would like.
So the two come together nicely. We do the dance of what would you like - you don't have to get me anything - no, I would like to - well, if you're sure...
The person giving doesn't feel that they've had a gift demanded from them, the person getting gets something that they like. Win Win.
It's when people deviate from this ONE TRUE WAY! that things go horribly wrong.
BlackAffronted · 06/06/2013 08:44
Chtristening gifts are meant to be trinkets, a book of bible stories or a wee money box. The monetary equiviliant would look paltry in a card, so you would up it a bit. I would maybe spend £5/£10 on a gift usually, but would feel like I would have to double that in cash!
DeepRedBetty · 06/06/2013 08:46
I don't mind being asked for money instead of a present, but I expect it to be a one-to-one conversation, not a note in an invitation. As a matter of fact I usually do give a bit of cash towards the child's university fund as a christening gift, but that was my own idea as most christening size babies are awash with age appropriate stuff whereas the time they get really expensive is when they're older.
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