Its spreading..

[CocacolaMum]

I have seen a few threads about demands for money being slipped in with wedding invites but it seems to be seeping over into other celebrations!!

This morning I got an invitation to a christening of a friends 8 and 1 yr old with a note declaring that although a present for both of the children would be nice they would prefer money so as not to have too much clutter around the house. AIBU to think this is just incredibly rude?!?!

What Hecsy said.

Yanbu,very rude.

Totally agree Hecsy. Gifts should be given freely, not demanded. We had a gift list for our wedding but did not include details in the invite. Everyone but a couple of ppl asked us once they rsvped if we had a list, and bought off it - no, we did not get five toasters, or God forbid! Something we did not like. I think the entitlement that surrounds gifts and occasions is becoming quite disgusting - I had an invite that actually included the bride's SORT CODE AND ACCOUNT NUMBER. Another overseas wedding, which all guests were spending a fortune to attend, helpfully included the instruction to just bring cash in an envelope as a gift. Wtf?

I don't have a problem with money as a gift, however if it were me I would ask the parents for the bank/child trust fund (the 8 yr old would have one of these) details and pay it straight into there.

I agree, I like being asked for money for weddings. Nice and simple.

But wedding presents are supposed to help the new couple start out in life. They are traditionally of a far value.

Whether it's a kettle or £50 towards the honeymoon so the couple can unwind after the stresses of wedding planning, matters not at all to me.

Christine's are different, unless you are a god parent, gifts should be optional, cheap and totally at the discretion of the giver. Christinings should mean something more than an excuse for a party and some people might like to give gifts that reflect that.

I would probably put a tenner in a card anyway for a christening. I've never quite seen the point of all those crappy silver spoon sets etc. I'm not sure I would like to see any mention of gifts on the invitation though, lots of people don't buy anything for christenings.

TBH, I usually put a tenner in a card for a wedding too. (well, maybe a bit more than a tenner). A sort code and account number would be right up my street.

I hate buying presents.

I know a few people, who don't have very much money, but when they know and event is coming up, like a wedding or a baby being born, will look out for gifts in the sales, or special offers, that kind of thing. For them, receiving an invitation like that, telling them not to give gifts, but money instead, would be upsetting. And they would have to give more than the cost of their bargain gift!

Like Hec said, it is disrespectful and unmannerly to directly ask for gifts in any situation. When did we all become so mean and self-absorbed?

Antisecco I'm Jewish and in my circle, it's not great form to ask for money.

When we had DD christened we were amazed and so touched by the number of (totally unasked for and unexpected) presents she received, from all sorts of people including quite a few who weren't invited to the christening at all but just wanted to give her something. They're all beautiful, thoughtful gifts that she'll have forever so I think YANBU on two counts-it's unbelievable that the parents are expecting presents, sad that they expect tat and rude to ask for money!

I think it is rude. If you don't want presents cluttering up your space then absolutely air enough but to request money for a christening is a bit, well...crass.

If people are that desperate to get the baby something when it's been stated no presents they'll give money without it being stated.

I would buy one of those gift cards from Oxfam, which provides something for a child. For example, the supply of books to a school, or vaccinations for babies.