To wear a bright scarf to dads funeral?

[monkeynuts123]

My father died and I want to show some celebration of his life in an otherwise serious and sad funeral service. I want to wear a bright scarf and will otherwise be wearing black formal clothes. Is a big splash of colour like this going to offend people do you think? Mentioned it to mum and she thinks it's ok but rest of family can be bitter twisted bunch and I don't want to do anything to give cause for attack but at same time want to wear something that symbolises life. I don't want to link to scarf but it's silk and vivid pinks, purples and turquoise.

He's your father. No-one else can tell you how to mourn him.

He is your dad. Do what you want.
When my dad died DD wore the party dress she wore the last time he saw her to his funeral.
I wanted to bring a flower but I was told I shoukdn't and I always regretted it.

Ism so sorry for your loss.

Do whatever you feel is the most appropriate celebration of your Dads life, it's him you ate there for. If you think he would have appriciated it then do it!
Sorry for your loss.

Do whatever you like. It wouldn't be a bad idea to tell other people in advance and maybe invite them to join you.

Sorry about you dad. But, I'm with you in that wearing a bright colour your dad would have liked is a lovely idea. When my mum died I wanted to wear a new bright green wrap dress that I just know she would have loved. In the end I went for black as I was worried about being judged and people thinking I was looking for attention. She still would have loved that dress though. You should wear what you feel comfortable in bt bear n mind the effectit might have even if you shouldn't have to. It's only a scarf, I'd be tempted to go for it.

I am so sorry for your loss. Please do wear your scarf. Hang the bitter, twisted rellies.

I went to a funeral recently and everyone (men and women) were asked to wear feather boas. Felt a bit odd until we got there and it was the most beautiful sight.

Do it! You knew your Dad and what he would like/want. It is your way of saying goodbye. You will regret it if you don't.

Sweetheart he was your dad. Whatever you do to honour him is fine and would be fine by him.

Nobodies business but yours.

So sorry for your loss.

When a very well loved relative of DH's died I wore a black suit with a top that she always said she loved and would have worn herself if she could find one to fit. It's bright red. Some people turned their noses at me but her close family who actually knew why I wore it thought it was a lovely thing to do.
Wear whatever you like. YANBU

When I lost my Mum I thought exactly as you and bought myself the most beautiful red scarf to go with my black outfit. My mum loved red, and also loved me wearing red, so to me, it seemed the most natural thing to do. I'm guessing it probably did raise a few eyebrows, especially with the older relatives, but to me it really didn't matter. I knew my reasons why and that was what mattered.

So sorry you are going through this.

Wear it, my sister wore a towering pair of bright pink stilettos to our mums funeral. My mum loved her shoes and she certainly would of loved these ones:) she had some fabulous comments from everybody else attending, all of which were positive! I am sorry for your loss.

if your mum and you are ok with it then I don't see why it should be a problem
I never wear black to funerals

Wear what you want to - he was your father. Sorry about your loss

Wear it! At my dads funeral, I wore a bright pink shirt because he would have loved it. I got a few funny looks but I know my darling dad would have approved

My mum did this for her mother's funeral - all in black with a lovely turquoise patterned scarf.

In my family wearing all black is considered a bit Victorian TBH, most people dress respectfully and that's enough.

I'm so sorry for your loss. At my mothers funeral everyone wore black (head to toe). I chose to wear a beautiful blue wrap over all the black. Mum loved blue. I wish I had been brave enough to ask some of the others if they wanted to join in. A funeral should be about celebrating life and not just stark black grief

Wear it, of course. A friend's mum got her hair done before her mum's funeral and her rellies were all bent out of shape about that - but she was one of those women whose hair was her armour, iyswim. And she'd been taught that by her DM - she couldn't contemplate turning up at her mum's funeral with bad hair.

So wear your scarf and tell the rellies to get stuffed. And sorry for your loss.

Please wear it! I think wearing some colours at funerals is a lovely idea and try to not go all in black.

You are celebrating his life as part of you remembering him. He may not be here physically but he will always be your dad and you will always have a relationship with him.

Sorry for your loss, the scarf sounds lovely.

Very sorry about your dad. I think your plan of a dark outfit with a beautiful scarf is absolutely appropriate. We went to a funeral of a close friend who had been a very positive lively person with a real eye for design etc and quite a few people wore dark clothes but with a very bold tie or scarf and it was perfect.

Sorry for your loss. You must wear it. At my dad's funeral I wore the the top half of my wedding dress - a beautiful scarlett Chinese silk jacket.

Wear whatever you like. In my family the dress code, such as it is, has always bright colours in celebration of the person's life. But no one would turn their nose up at someone wearing black. It shouldn't be etiquette that counts, you should feel free to express what you feel. Sorry for your loss.

I think you (and the rest of his immediate family) should wear whatever you like, no dress code at all for you. Other people attending should dress respectfully in black, unless told otherwise.