Re being instructed to wear specific colour to a party

[vintageclock]

A colleague of DH is having a 40th birthday party next month and we've been invited. It's a red and black themed party - all of the men are to wear black and all of the women red. I mean, WTF? Apart from the fact that red looks awful on me, why on earth should I be forced to go out and buy something in a colour I never wear to attend this party. DH thinks it's a bit cheeky as well. AIBU to simply regret the invite and say we're doing something else that night?

Don't go.

If you do go you'll just be murgely with everybody.

(Murgely - A feeling of intense resentment at having to wear specific clothes at a party. As in: "The undertaker was feeling quite murgely wearing his black suit when his new chiffon ballgown from Zara was hanging up back in his cave) - [TiggyWiki]

Why don't you ask her if you can do 'splashings' rather than 'lashings', and explain that you have nothing red in your wardrobe and can't afford to buy an outfit for just one occasion.

If she says yes, great. If she says no then she's probably not the kind of person whose party you'd want to attend anyway!

God, what a pain in the arse. Why would this make her party "special"?

It wont make it special but it will make it memorable for all the pissed up husbands groping the wrong wives :o

wear black if you have got it and something red from aa charity shop or a piece of red material bought cheap off the market.

What about looking for a shade of red you like? Wine or salmon? I'm sure you could even get away with pink or black.

Its just a party with a theme. Its essentially fancy dress.If you don't like it don't go. I'm sure the party organizers would rather not have miserable people at their party anyway.

It is a lot easier than many fancy dress themes- plenty of scope. If you don't like fancy dress I wouldn't go- it is very boring if people accept and then make no effort. Get a hat from a charity shop and cover it with red tissue paper flowers- you can take it off later in the party - get red tights- anything cheap.

A colour is a doddle after some fancy dress I have been to!

Ooh I'm loving 'murgely'

The only red thing I have in my wardrobe is a frickin jumper, so I'd be a bit aggrieved too (and I like red - I just haven't seen it in the shops much recently).

But, on the other hand , I did go to a 'white party' (thrown in honour of me and DH after we got married) where everybody else had to wear white, apart from me - so like a reverse wedding dress code. I was in fuschia and black and the photos did look really good! [vain]

However, please note:

• I didn't stipulate the dress code/ host the party
• this was in Florida, where the guests were quite likely to have white/cream. (See also: wearing fuschia )

If you like the person, suck it up and borrow/eBay/charity shop something. If not, fuck 'em and their stupid rules?

Yanbu. It's too specific. I really don't see the fun in it either. I get the fun in a real theme like 1960s or whatever but not 'women wear red, men wear black'... Dullsville imo. Don't go.

Can your dh wear read and you wear black?

Just kidding. Call her up and say you don't have anything red, and is it ok if you wear black.

Dye something you already have, red?

How about going lady gaga style in a raw meat dress.

I hate this sort of request. Not a fan of fancy dress either. . And I look terrible in red. Red hair and red dress does not make for a good look. I wouldn't bother saying anything, because it is her party and she can ask guests to dress however she likes, but I'd just show up wearing a black dress and buy a cheap big jeweled bangle (from a cheapie department store for about $5) or wrap a scarf around my waist. There's a fine line between lashings and splashings! And she's not going to turn you away at the door if you've made an effort.

It's just a theme. Don't go if you don't like it. Personally the themed parties I've held a few people have always come along without dressing up and that was absolutely fine.

Don't see the problem with red though. Surely a red top would suffice.

Why should she have to buy anything at all? I hate this assumption that guests are happy to shell out on something they dont want, dont need and will never use again just so someone else has a colour coordinated party!

I didn't see the part where someone was forcing the OP at gunpoint to attend this party.

I am of the opinion it is the people that make a party special, not the colours they wear. If the hosts just want colourfull fillers to create a look, rather than especially invited people then it is pretty simple. Just dont go.

She might as well put a notice up in Sainsbury:

"We would like men dressed in black and women dressed entirely in red come to our party. Free food and booze. You will be turned away at the door if you dont adhere to dresscode"

That could honestly be quite fun, though!

Quite, Quint.

I LOVE the idea up thread of a red whip to provide 'lashings of red'. Wear whatever the Hell you like, and still complying with the instructions on the invite.

But that's probably my sense of humour...

Oh I like this bollocks. It's not exactly innovative but it adds a bit of something to what would otherwise be just another Saturday night.

Of course it's the people that matter but these things help create conversation between people who don't really know each other - a bit of unity.

My friend has this outfit.

It's red and black so I'd borrow it. Of course, if you wear something like it you'll probably get a lot of attention.

Thanks for some of the suggestions on here. Love the pics and the whip idea.

Must be a lot of misery guts around as DH asked in work yesterday if females/colleagues' wives were sticking with the 'lashings of red' theme and the general view was that people didn't mind wearing a red necklace, belt, pair of shoes or whatever but that very few people had any intention of going out and buying a red outfit especially for the party. So that's okay, I can do that.
Apparently the hostess, whom I don't know very well, is a nice woman but a bit OTT and is always coming up with suggestions for the Christmas Party etc that will cause a lot of expense, trouble or awkwardness for other people. She just doesn't always think. For instance, last year she kept insisting that the Christmas party would be more fun if it was turned into a kind of indoor sports day with races and skipping competitions etc. It seemed to go over her head that some of the staff are quite elderly, some are very overweight and two are in wheelchairs!!

I quite enjoy dressing up to adhere to a theme tbh. Agree that red is a bit mean though, hard to pull off!

I had a black dress and cat ears theme for my hen do, and one friend turned up in a leopard print dress. Figured everyone has a black dress... Totally ruined the photos as she stood out like a sore thumb!

I guess I'm a partyzilla too lol