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WIBU to glue my neighbours cat to her door?

64 replies

Sparklypinknails · 03/06/2013 12:35

Would I be unreasonable to glue my neighbours cat to her door so she stops screeching its name whenever she wants it in? She'll always know where it is that way. CATS NAAAAAA-AAAAAAAME in a high pitched screech in the morning. In the day. In the evening. It goes right through me and makes me jump.

And the cat never comes! I'm sure it hides when it hears her. Its hiding right now while she screeches for it.

[disclaimer: I am a cat person and would not reaaaally glue the cat to the door.]

OP posts:

Witt · 03/06/2013 12:36

YABU. It's not really the cat's fault. Glue your neighbour's lips together instead.


mrsjay · 03/06/2013 12:37

if i was her cat I wouldnt come either she sounds awful and screchy Grin


WorraLiberty · 03/06/2013 12:37

I love the way you've protected the cat's identity Grin


Gruntfuttock · 03/06/2013 12:38

I wouldn't trust any superglue to be able to cope with the weight of a cat unless it's a kitten. A staple gun is better for this task in my experience.


Sparklypinknails · 03/06/2013 12:41

As mean as it sounds, it would be easier to catch the cat than the neighbour for glueing!

Only protecting it for selfish reasons worra Grin wasn't sure if she might be on here the neighbour I mean. Not the cat. Unless that's where it is! Hidden away somewhere posting on here Shock

I like the idea of staples! Would make a satisfying noise too. THUNK. THUNK.

OP posts:

Weegiemum · 03/06/2013 12:42

You could glue the cat to the floor right outside the house (or inside if you could sneak entry?)


MisselthwaiteManor · 03/06/2013 12:43

She needs to put it on a really long bungee rope so she can quietly pull it home when she wants it. Buy her one, leave it on her doorstep with a note that simpy says "I think we both know what this is for." Much kinder to the cat than superglue.


Pagwatch · 03/06/2013 12:45

Buy a cat.
Name it ShutTheFuckUp.
Call it in everytime she calls hers in.


mrsjay · 03/06/2013 12:45

TBh the cat just needs to pack its little cat bowl and run away from the screechy lady


pinkbear82 · 03/06/2013 12:46

Grin at the staple gun and the THUNK noises!!


MakeItUpAsYouGoAlong · 03/06/2013 12:48

Love ShutTheFuckUp


StuntGirl · 03/06/2013 12:52

Pag Grin

Perhaps record it and play it back to her. In the middle of the night or something, just to shit her up!


limitedperiodonly · 03/06/2013 12:53

Can I use the rest of the glue on my neighbour's mouth? His dog barks a bit. That doesn't annoy me nearly as much as my neighbour shouting: 'Shut up!' at it.


Maryz · 03/06/2013 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklypinknails · 03/06/2013 12:56

Such good ideas! I quite like the idea of shutthefuckup cat and calling his name in the exact same WAAAAA-AAAAY.

Grin at the image of the cat being quietly pulled home by its bungee when she wants it.

Weegie I could glue it on the outside doormat? Then she could bring it in and out so it still gets fresh air and can sleep inside still!

OP posts:

Gruntfuttock · 03/06/2013 12:57

Again, a staple gun is better for shutting people up. You can never get close enough to someone to put glue on their lips, whereas you can use a staple gun from your doorway when she opens her door to get the cat off.

Hope this helps.


Sparklypinknails · 03/06/2013 12:58

Grin at recording her and playing it back. I could just press play when she starts calling it and it will be like an echooooo or surround sound for her. She'll enjoy that yes yes. And yes you can have my glue leftovers limited :)

OP posts:

MadeOfStarDust · 03/06/2013 12:59

You are a wonderful person! You made me laugh soooooooooooo much with the thread title.... I needed a laugh - thank you Thanks


Sparklypinknails · 03/06/2013 13:00

OMG GRUNT I can use the cat as a trap! Staple the cat to the door and when she's peeling it off, I staple her! Right, off to shop for a staple gun :)

OP posts:

OrangeFireandGoldashes · 03/06/2013 13:02

  1. Put note through neighbour's door as follows: "I haz run away to see the world. Want to be famuss Internet cat. So long and thankz for all the fissssshhh".

2. Sell cat to eccentric but kind-hearted animal-loving millionaire.
3. Buy wine with proceeds of 2.
4. Drink said wine in unaccustomed silence.

Gruntfuttock · 03/06/2013 13:04

OrangeFire, you is a genius.


D0oinMeCleanin · 03/06/2013 13:10

Dd2 is not your neighbour is she? She does this. Every fecking morning she opens the window and wails "Maaaa-aaax, Maaaa-aaax, Maxeeeeee, Ma-aa-xeeeee" If she can see him it goes on for longer, he often comes eventually, but on the occasions he doesn't come, if for for example, he is enjoying laying in the sun on the end of our roof her wailing is then followed by "Mam, mam, maaaaaaam, mameeeeeeeee, the cats ran away again" which is also wailed out of the window, god knows why because I spend very little time on our kitchen roof Grin


Jojobump1986 · 03/06/2013 13:12

"I think we both know what this is for."

How freaked out would you be if you found that note & bungee cord on your front step with no other explanation?! Grin OP, you must do this but hide a camera somewhere nearby to record the look of confusion/horror/fear!


Midlifecrisisarefun · 03/06/2013 13:13

Oh dear Lord!! This has really made me laugh!! Maybe you could make a little rucksack for cat, so he can 'run away' properly? Or give the neighbour a loudhailer 'as your cat can't hear you 3 streets away' or would subtle sarcasm not work? Wink


UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 03/06/2013 13:14

Buy a dog.

A really big nasty one.

Train it to attack on the command "[cat's name]".

"Accidentally" leave your garden gate open.

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