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AIBU?

WIBU to glue my neighbours cat to her door?

64 replies

Sparklypinknails · 03/06/2013 12:35

Would I be unreasonable to glue my neighbours cat to her door so she stops screeching its name whenever she wants it in? She'll always know where it is that way. CATS NAAAAAA-AAAAAAAME in a high pitched screech in the morning. In the day. In the evening. It goes right through me and makes me jump.

And the cat never comes! I'm sure it hides when it hears her. Its hiding right now while she screeches for it.

[disclaimer: I am a cat person and would not reaaaally glue the cat to the door.]

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ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 03/06/2013 13:16

Oh god! Not at all unreasonable to glue her lips together.

My neighbour constantly yells her dog's name.

Dog barks.
Neighbour yells FIDO (not dog's real name)
Dog barks
Neighbour yells FIDO (not dog's real name)
Dog barks
Neighbour yells FIDO (not dog's real name)
Dog barks

I just want to lean out of the window and yell IT'S A DOG! IT HAS NO BLOODY CLUE THAT WHEN YOU YELL ITS NAME YOU WANT IT TO NOT BARK!

Look at it from the dog's pov
hello world
fido
yes?
fido
yes?
fido
yes?

you are just saying the dog's name, you STUPID AS A BUCKET OF PIG SHIT WOMAN. He's never going to get it.

and apparently neither are you.

Anyone got a paper bag for me to breathe into?

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Roomfor1more · 03/06/2013 13:21

Thank you I needed a good laugh!!

And NO YANBU. I like Shutthefuckup too

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Meerkatwhiskers · 03/06/2013 13:28

Oh shit you don't live next door to me do you?

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D0oinMeCleanin · 03/06/2013 13:29

Oh dear, dd2 also calls the dog's name constantly when she wants him to stop barking at her. Usually this happens when she is throwing a ball for him but becomes distracted by a bluebottle or particularly interesting bit of paving

It goes;

Devil Dog: Woof
dd2: Shhh, Devil Dog
Devil Dog: Woof woof
dd2: Devil Dog
Devil Dog: Woof, woof, woof
Dd2: Devil Dog!
Devil Dog: WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
Dd2: Devil Dog! That is very naughty making all of that noise, you will wake up all the babies. I am very dissapointed in you
Devil Dog: Woof?
Dd2: Devil Dog!
Me: Throw the bloody ball dd2!

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Meerkatwhiskers · 03/06/2013 13:31

hecsy I have a neighbour like that too! Her dog is called Marley (well one of the 3!!!). Clearly noone told it Marley died!

Please note:- I like dogs - just not yappy little shit dogs that live next door to me and bark a lot.

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Weegiemum · 03/06/2013 13:34

Our rabbit comes when you call his name!

Are cats stupid, or just ignoring you?

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limitedperiodonly · 03/06/2013 13:38

I think my neighbour puts the dog out because it's barking in the house which is annoying him, but not us because we can't hear it.

When it barks to be let in, he wants us to know that he realises it's annoying, but not so much that he lets the bloody thing in.

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ScarletLady02 · 03/06/2013 13:38

This thread has given me a much needed laugh, thank-you.

I know someone who called their cat Ball-Bag so they could shout something amusing when calling it.

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ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 03/06/2013 13:44

Cats think we are beneath them, weegie. They would not be seen dead acting like a pet and actually coming when summoned.

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Veryunsure · 03/06/2013 14:14

Change your wifi name to 'I hate your screechy cat calling voice STFU' she will never know it's you!

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Bakingtins · 03/06/2013 14:18

She is BU expecting a cat to come when called. Triumph of hope over experience?
Could you get some horrible sound activated dancing gnome or something and perch it on the fence?

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StuntGirl · 03/06/2013 14:26

I have collapsed into a fit of giggles at this thread!

Hec My neighbour does that too! Drives me insane.

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olidusUrsus · 03/06/2013 14:34

I have never ever laughed IRL at a thread. I've always been jealous of those who say they have and do. Alas, my laughing-at-a-thread virginity is gone. This is the best thread ever.

I second getting a cat called ShutTheFuckUp. Please. Please please please.

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MadeOfStarDust · 03/06/2013 14:47

Veryunsure do you live near me.... we changed our wifi name to "Willyougotoeffinsleep" when the neighbours left their windows open and kept shouting at their kids..... stopped soon after - or they shut the window at least

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Sparklypinknails · 03/06/2013 14:59

I can confirm that its not your dd d0oin. Weird logic is, I'd probably find it sweet if it was a child doing it! There's just something about an adult screeching for a cat that is not. Going. To. Come.

Jojo irl LOL at that and Midlife are you trying to destroy me?! If I give her a loudhailer she'll ignore the subtle hint and bloody use it!

Unexpecteditem I can't do that! Poor little kitty is so tiny and cute, I couldn't watch her be eaten. I might glue her to the fence instead and that way I can admire her cuteness and next door will always know where she is. And then add a dancing gnome as suggested by baking to keep her company.

That poor dog must just be permanently confused!

Its not you meerkat! No dog next door. Oh god. I'm jinxing myself saying that aren't I!

I like the idea of changing my wifi. Its like the modern version of leaving a passive aggressive note. I might change it to "cats name lives here now muhahaha" and imply a cat-napping. Or is that too mean? Someone catnapped our old cat :( he chose them over us when they let him back out

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Sparklypinknails · 03/06/2013 15:00

And thinking about cats all day has made me really want a little shutthefuckup!

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HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 03/06/2013 15:09

These are so great. I want a ShutTheFuckUp cat now too and I'm not even a cat person.

Horrible sound-activated gnome
Cat called Ball-Bag
Staple gun

I don't know which one is my favourite!

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Pagwatch · 03/06/2013 15:30

These are all fab.

Any of you can nick ShutTheFuckUp for your cat. I have no cats.

My next dog is def going to be called ballbag

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Meerkatwhiskers · 03/06/2013 15:40

Oh shit now i'm resisting the temptation to change my wifi name to 'marleydies'

My furball is curled up asleep in the dog's bed while the dog is curled up asleep on the lounge floor. Who rules the roost here?? lol

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Meerkatwhiskers · 03/06/2013 15:42

The good thing about my router is I can have a guest network thus keeping my original wifi name (as it is quite distinctive) and alas reduce suspicion. mwahahahaha

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Midlifecrisisarefun · 03/06/2013 17:44

MNHQ This has to be a classics contender??????!!!!!!

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OrangeFireandGoldashes · 03/06/2013 17:51

Bugger. We got a rescue dog recently and renamed him to a name beginning with B (all our dogs have had names beginning with B). Why didn't I think of Ballbag? Whhhhyyyyy? WHHHHYYYYYY?

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StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 03/06/2013 18:24

my DB called his cat FC (fuckin cat) when they got another he called it AFC (another fuckin cat)

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mirren3 · 03/06/2013 18:30

A cat called ball bag is too posh for Scotland, here we would say baw bag. You could have a cat with a double barrel name, shutthefuckup-youbawbag.....best said in a Glasgow accent though!

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OrangeFireandGoldashes · 03/06/2013 18:33

Should that not be GaetaeFuck-Bawbag, mirren, for that full weegie effect?

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