WIBU to glue my neighbours cat to her door?

[Sparklypinknails]

Would I be unreasonable to glue my neighbours cat to her door so she stops screeching its name whenever she wants it in? She'll always know where it is that way. CATS NAAAAAA-AAAAAAAME in a high pitched screech in the morning. In the day. In the evening. It goes right through me and makes me jump.

And the cat never comes! I'm sure it hides when it hears her. Its hiding right now while she screeches for it.

[disclaimer: I am a cat person and would not reaaaally glue the cat to the door.]

[AmazingBouncingFerret]

Haha I always remember a primary school teacher had a cat called Fleabag. All well and good until the cat received a letter from the vets addressed to him as Fleabag (teachers last name). I always wondered what the postman thought of that!

[mirren3]

Even better, orange! I can hear it in my head.

[CharlieUniformNovemberTango]

Tell her what she actually has to do is shake a box of cat biscuits.

I don't have to utter a single word when I get my cat in for the night.

I just shake the biscuits and he comes running and so does a neighbours cat who's hoping to get fed


I probably have a neighbour sat there every evening going "WTF is that noise???"

[JumpingJackSprat]

Meerkat if you put marleydies as your wifi your neighbours might think youre threatening their dog... are you ready for all out warfare?! :D

[D0oinMeCleanin]

When we first moved here my cat (who is stupid on fails on most elements of being a cat) used to forget which house was his and so would hide under a car around the corner, until I went out shaking a box of cat biscuits every morning.

If I was hungover, slept in or forgot he'd wait there all day for me

Every morning for 6 whole months this went on until he learned where we lived

[pinkbear82]

My elegant thunder cat often sits looking at the open window waiting for me to open the door.... I keep explaining when I'm not in the window works just fine for her and clearly when brings in the mice at night the window works then too....... Gotta love cats!!

[SacreBlue]

I so afraid this would be any one of my neighbours I have 5 cats tho one is currently AWOL :( tbf they usually do come when called but lots of my previous neighbours used to them wander about their flats so now my new neighbours get visits since the cats assume they now have 'freedom to roam' in there!

Thankfully both sets of new neighbours are feline friendly unless they are behind the disappearance of Steven who was the worst offender

[sjuperyoni]

Dp is looking at me like

Thank you

[snooter]

I shout PUSS PUSS slightly screechily but just once & if the two cats don't appear immediately I close the back door & wait about 10-20mins. When I open the door again they will usually be waiting. If not then tough cheese till the morning.

Neighbours' cat jumps from their fence to their new porch, up onto their conservatory to the bit of roof over the kitchen & then miaows at their bedroom window to be let in. With dead presents sometimes. Nice.

[Sparklypinknails]

I am loving all these pets names! My favourites so far are Steven and Fleabag. Poor missing Steven :(

My mums cat used to climb through the bathroom window when it was thirsty and drink out the toilet. It also did a wee in my exes sleeping bag when we stayed there once. Cats are so clever We use to do the biscuit trick for her too but she seemed to sense when it was food time and just appear haha!

I'm actually thinking back to when the cat was younger and I used to open the back door at nighttime and shout for it. And shout. And shout. Every single night. OH GOD THIS IS KARMA FOR THAT ISN'T IT?! I WAS MY NEIGHBOUR!

[LalyRawr]

My cat comes when I whistle!

It took hours of training involving whistling and cat treats.

The neighbourhood teenagers are very impressed.

My dog was called Defer. As in D for Dog. I was a...special child.

[NorbertDentressangle]

oooh interesting.....do you think the gluing or stapling to the front door would work for my actual neighbour? Or would I need something a bit stronger like No More Nails?

That way I wouldn't have to listen to his wife's nasally screech as she yells for him when he's having a crafty fag round the side of the house (when she thinks he's gardening).

[Kundry]

Oh dear, I could easily have been your neighbour. Mine mainly come when called as I bribe them with food but one does interpret me calling as opening negotiations rather than an instruction.

I met some of my neighbours at a party and was ashamed to find you excited they were at meeting the catcalling lady and how they listened out for me each evening trying to guess the cats' names. Apparently this had been street conversation for months.

[Hassled]

This has made me laugh :o. 2/3 of my cats will come when called, but that's the only thing they've ever learnt to do. Otherwise they're thick as shit.

What you need to do is use your new collection of glue and staple guns to put a catflap in her back door when she's not looking. Then she won't need to call the cat in ever again.