to think people ought to learn to use cutlery properly

[snooter]

I'm not talking about the left-handed using it the "wrong" way round, or even the way some people hold a knife like a pen rather than, well, a knife.

I've noticed more & more young people, teenagers mainly, using cutlery in frankly bizarre ways such as clasping the fork vertically in a fist & scraping off chunks of food that is pinned by the knife. Usually while leaning sideways onto an elbow at the same time. I notice them in restaurants mostly, as I'm not going round spying through windows, & can only assume they eat with their fingers at home.

My pet hates with cutlery are holding the fork in a fist and putting the fork into a chunk of food then biting a piece off rather than using the knife to cut a bite sized mouthfull

YANBU. I remember when I was dating DH, the first time I ate with him and SS. (he was 12 then) I was sat
Opposite SS and mortified to have to watch him eat slumped on the table on his right side, and try and eat his whole dinner with just a fork because his right hand was being slumped on IYSWIM!

I couldn't bare watching him chase food around his plate and be unable to cut anything. I've tried since, but he still eats the same. I always sit next to him so I'm not directly looking at him now!

You can stick your medal where ever you please paradise - I'm content enough with the fact that my children have manners!

I'm left handed and I don't eat the wrong way around.
Yanbu. Table manners are important IMO. I am teaching my dds to eat nicely and correctly so they can be confident in all situations. Why wouldn't you.

Love the wikihow link morethanpotatoprints.

I hate to see people holding a fork like a pen. When did that start?

"Manners" as in being polite and respectful to people are important and everyone should have these sorts of manners.

"Table Manners" as in holding a fork in a certain way so as not to irk some old fart who can't mind their own business are not important. Obviously everyone should know how to cut a steak with a knife and fork, but generally as long as you aren't getting food all over everyone else who the fuck (with a life) cares.

anothershitty, I wouldn't be too sure about how your children behave when away from your eagle eyes

I've had some friends in the past who prided themselves greatly on their children's superior manners

it was interesting to see how quickly those manners changed whenevery mummy wasn't around

YANBU.

I'm left handed but eat the "right way". My right handed uncle,colleague and ex don't and I find that very strange.

The uncle,colleague and ex are three different people. That didn't quite read right

My job involves eating out with clients and bad table manners would definitely be noticed. I think that's the objective really - use cutlery and eat in a manner whereby the act of eating itself isn't noticeable because nothing is being done to draw attention to it.

I think it's a bit like make-up; wear too much and that's what people see. Wear just enough and it lifts and accentuates the facial features.

It's not snobbery to follow social convention where manners are concerned. I'd be really ashamed to eat out with anybody but very young children who can't use cutlery. I certainly wouldn't cut up meat for a teen; it's not cute and definitely not funny, just really rather pathetic.

Thanks cory but feedback from others is enough for me to be confident that their manners aren't just for my benefit :)

jidget - Holding a fork like a pen - yes I've seen that - presumably to match knife-pen-holding - I think people who do this think they're being posh in some way as it perhaps looks more delicate but it's pointless - you can't exert enough pressure to cut anything.

My father was very old fashioned and table manners were everything so mine are pretty good because they just had to be. I lunch with friends who lick their fingers, lift their bowls in the air, hold their knife like a pen etc etc.

Now I got a husband by having good table manners. I didn't know it at the time but my husband took me for a meal on our first date to check my table manners and I obviously passed because 2 years later I married him. I've left the bugger now though.

YANBU. I can't bear to watch people holding their knife like a pen etc.

YANBU its not good to see and having poor table manners could be seriously damaging in the world of employment if you ever have to entertain clients.

Loading food onto the back of the fork with the tines pointing down is regarded as extremely rude in my (north European) home country!
In my experience the English are the only Europeans doing that, everybody else " uses the fork like a spoon".

I generally agree about table manners, though.

Good Lord

I may not use my cutlery to your liking - I have dyspraxia and use cutlery as best as I can, using it in the "right" way causes me excruitiating pain - but thank God I'm not as judgemental as half of you lot!!!

I suppose I should feel bad that I struggle to hold glasses too and use cups wherever possible, including in restaurants? Is that bad manners too?!

Attitudes such as those being displayed here are what lead to me being bullied throughout my school years by adults and children alike - I do hope you don't bring your children up to be so judgemental of others. There are a great deal of reasons why people don't always do things the "correct" or "polite" way, to say as one person said that you'd be "ashamed to eat out with anybody" who can't use cutlery properly is just twattery, to be honest!! Sorry for being blunt but that's how I feel!!

Sorry - that reads back as ruder than I was meant to be .. Just tired - had to wait nine hours for a doctor to come out today to give my DM pain relief jabs, and feeling a bit stressed, so picked up on the first thing that offended me, sorry..

nc... I was referring to people without conditions that prevent them from using cultery properly. I neglected to put that in as a disclaimer but I would have thought it quite obvious really. Does this really need stating on each and every thread?

IIRC:- Fish Knives were "invented" for the Middle Class.

YANBU. My boyfriend, although a fantastic guy (can't say the same for his brother), was absolutely dragged up by his parents and after almost four years of being with him I'm still trying to teach him totally basic manners that his parents either didn't possess or couldn't be arsed teaching him. We're both 18 and I just think it's the height of bad manners to use cutlery inappropriately in a restaurant. That's just how I was brought up, though.

I would like to point out that I do understand not using cutlery "properly" if you have a medical condition. I don't judge strangers on how they use their cutlery (too preoccupied with my food to notice), just my family.

We often use our fingers at home

AND I hold my knife and fork in the wrong hand!

Who are we supposed to be impressing?