to be utterly fucked off re my family pressuring me to 'beautify' myself?

[ShadowsCollideWithPeople]

One of my sisters is getting married soon. My Mum, Dad, and sisters are obsessed with 'beautifying' me in advance of the wedding. Now, I am a tall, fit size 10. I beat anorexia in my early 20s, so since then have been very much in to healthy eating and exercising. I like to dress well etc. Not good enough for my family though. Every time I see them, they advise me to go on a diet (happy as I am), get highlights (like my hair dark, as it naturally is), and do sunbeds. I am very pale and have moles, so sunbeds would be a ridiculous idea. Told them this. My Mum's response? 'Don't be silly, you will be fine'. Had lunch with my Mum and sister today, spent a whole fecking hour listening to diet plans and sunbed recommendations.

I have spent years working on my self esteem, AIBU to want to tell them to piss off and leave my pasty skinned, dark haired self alone?

Oooh thanks for the mention quoteunquote, I'd happily do your hair Although obviously you're happy with it dark, which is fine. Pale skin and dark hair is beautiful.

I'm also pale and interesting (also covered in moles), and I think it contributes to people always thinking I'm younger than I am (never had a sunbed, always cover up in the sun as I just burn and it bloody hurts). The only annoying thing about it is I often fail to find makeup/foundation that doesn't make me look hilariously orange! Even MAC's palest one does it.

YANBU - the diet things is horrible. I can't even believe they're on at you like this when you've beaten something like anorexia. Well done to you for that, and if you feel yourself wavering, just read back through the responses here to know how ridiculous they (your family, not the responses) are.

Oh and also the Head & Shoulders things is bollocks. You used to be able to use it to wash out semi-perm colour as it's very clarifying, but they've changed the formula now so it doesn't work as well. It's not going to strip out natural colour FFS. If it did that it would have all sorts of warnings on it as it would need peroxide etc.

Please do not let your dysfunctional (and quite frankly stupid - sorry) family make you feel anything negative about yourself. You overcame a debilitating illness despite their lack of support let alone how hard it must have been anyway and you did it!

You are a healthy size and have overcome so much. Please do not let the stupidity of your family undermine that.

Ignore ignore ignore. You are amazing!

Tell them to feck right off!
Grrrrrrrr! I also had anorexia I'm my twenties. You sound like you're doing brilliantly and I'm so sad to hear how their comments undermine the importance of accepting dare I say loving how you are naturally.
Just imagine a bunch of MNers there with you while listening next time!

'listening' can be substituted for any verb you see fit.

I, too, am as pale as a whitewashed vampire and can't understand our culture's obsession with sunbeds and fake tans. Re-wilded Oompa-Loompa is just not a good look.

OP, in your shoes, I would be tempted to turn up to my next visit with Mum and sister dressed as an Emo. Just to make a point

Shadows, well done for staying strong, and for beating the anorexia. You should be very, very proud of yourself!

As a serious question; what is in the relationship for you?

Do you feel strong enough to say; 'You need to stop making me feel bad about myself for being who I am. This is not the way loving people act.'

You sound gorgeous and your family sound hideous.

I failed to die my hair, use a sunbed or fake bake and I wore my glasses to my own wedding. I'd be damned if I'd be doing it for anyone else --and I'm short and round-

How about they pay for you to go to a spa for a couple of weeks say in the Maldives? You'll have no work (and your family can pay the bills) and you'll be rested and sun-kissed.

Please bin the head and shoulders and use a great colour dependant shampoo to bring out the gorgeous colour in your lovely dark hair

Through your contacts in the bin and wear your glasses

There are people many days dead that have more colour than me I am so pale that foundation is a pain

You are perfect lovely and beautiful just as you are

Your family sound deranged and quite frankly nasty people (sorry if that upsets you)

If I were you I'd I really think Ihonsetlh about telling my family to shut up and love me they way I am or I have nothing more to do with them

You just can't reason with unreasonable narsocistic people

Don't let them cause a relapse they are not worth it